


An Entertaining Business

by goodbothtimes



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, present day, rhink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-04-18 22:17:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 54,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4722386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodbothtimes/pseuds/goodbothtimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Link is struggling with his feelings for Rhett and their ongoing affair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Too much love will kill you

**Author's Note:**

> Any depictions of real life persons are purely of a fictional nature. This is a fanfic site. Don't be silly.

Part One - Too much love will kill you

Link let his eyes travel around the crowded room. Everywhere he looked was a face he knew, smiling and laughing, the music drowning out the conversations from even those closest to him. 

They had worked so hard to get to where they were now. Tonight they were celebrating the official opening of their new studio space. Mythical Entertainment. The new building housing a number of recording studios, a small movie theatre, offices, meeting rooms and of course the gmm set. There were a number of entertainment spaces as well, including the room he was standing in now. It would allow them to create content on a level unprecedented. It was a large investment, but one they could make now with some level of certainty. 

Despite the normal nerves and last minute rush the evening had started well. He had spent a lot of time earlier in the evening with Rhett, moving from group to group, making sure everyone had a chance to speak with him and his business partner before the duo had separated, each going to spend some time with their respective families.

There had been a lot of dancing and laughing, speeches and more toasts than he could count, but as the night wore on Link was feeling more and more confused and detached from everything and everyone around him rather than happy.

He'd had a few drinks at the beginning of the evening which had helped boost his mood and confidence, letting him forget about life for a while. He had danced with a lot of people, his wife laughing as she watched him, if it wasn't her in his arms. He'd felt full of energy, the culmination many years work finally passing off. The successes, and the failures they had learned from all leading to here. 

But, he still felt alone. Needing something that he could never have no matter the accomplishments he achieved in other areas of his life. As time passed the realization of that truth lay heavier in his mind, tainting all other experiences.

He'd been dancing with a member of their crew, trying to make the best out of the night as he could, they were after all paying a lot of money to host it, when he had seen Rhett watching him from the bar and he'd suddenly felt ashamed. That by having fun he was doing something wrong.

He wasn't all up on his dance partner, they weren't touching one another, nothing remotely inappropriate about it. But Rhett held his gaze over the heads of the crowd. Not smiling, or frowning, or really giving away any emotion at all. But Link felt that if he wasn't offering a smile once they made eye contact he wasn't happy with what he was seeing for some reason.

He excused himself, slapping his colleague on the shoulder as he moved around him to try and track down Rhett. “I'll see you later, man.”

“Catch ya later, boss!” the other yelled over the music before turning to the nearest person and continuing to moving.

Link moved through the crowd, being stopped every few steps by someone wanting to either congratulate, hug or kiss him. And by more than a few people that wanted all three. He tried to keep an open happy demeanor to hide his building anxiety but became more abrupt with people as he got closer to where he thought he had last seen Rhett.

The more anxious he became, the more people there seemed to be, pushing into him, cutting off his oxygen and escape. He stopped and put his hands on his knees trying to calm his breathing and stop a full blown panic attack from taking over. After taking a few cleansing breaths he stood to his full height again and looked around slowly.

At 6'7” Rhett wasn't normally very hard to find in a crowd and Link, at 6 foot, was at least as tall if not slightly taller than most of their guests, but he still jumped in place hoping it would increase his chances of finding his best friend.

He nearly screamed aloud when arms suddenly closed firmly around his waist from behind. He was spun around quickly and pulled into a hug that took his breath away, his heart in his throat.

“Can you believe this man?” Rhett squeezed him tightly against his body. Link hugged him back, hoping that it looked at least kinda brotherly, smiling like a kid, relief flooding his body.

“You alright, Rhett?” he asked quickly while their heads were mere inches apart, hoping he was able to be heard over the music without having to yell.

“Yeah, of course. Just been watchin' ya sexy self.” the other man’s reply came with another quick squeeze. Rhett stepped back keeping his hands on Link’s shoulders. “Have you seen this?” he gestured around them. “This is all us, man. We did it.”

Link couldn't help but smile up at his friend. All anxiety from moments ago forgotten as he relaxed into his friend’s enthusiasm and praise.

“It sure is, Rhett.” He still had to pinch himself sometimes. It was all so unreal. Yet here they were.

But they had worked harder and sacrificed more than anyone would ever know.

“Hey, why don't you come dance with me?” he asked the taller man quickly, caught up in the party atmosphere, seeing immediately he had made a mistake.

“We can't really do that, man. And, I'm not much of a dancer.”

“We'll join a group of people. I just want ya movin next to me. Come on, Rhett. No one thought anything of me dancing with any of the people I have so far." Trying to lighten the mood he added. "Aside from Carl's wife. Did you see what she was tryin' to do to me? It was scary man!”

“Yeah, I saw Carl drag her off.” Both men laughed loudly.

“Please, Rhett. It's kinda more weird if we don't dance at least next to each other for a tune or two don't ya think? It's our party man.”

Rhett leaned in towards Link, pulling him closer again so he can speak in his ear. “I better bring Jessie with me. Is that alright?”

“Well. I guess from a marketing point of view.” refusing to meet the other man's gaze, Link took a step away from his best friend. “Come find me when ya wanna boogie. I'll make sure to ask Christy to join in too.”

He fell back into the crowd, working his way towards his wife and close friends. He knew he was being unfair. He was right, that they needed to be diligent and careful. But, it hurt him that their friendship suffered because of their whatever this was. Letting off steam? 

But even as the thought came, Link dismissed it, tired of lying even to himself. He knew he was in love with Rhett, and their continued relationship was becoming more and more dysfunctional. 

What had started as a relief between them, knowing that through all these years his best friend had felt the same as he had, had brought a lot of joy to both of their lives, despite the difficulties it created. But it had now turned into something Link wasn't sure he could live with. Or without. 

A few drinks later, Link found himself again on the dance floor, he needed to keep moving. All he had been able to think about tonight was Rhett, and it was making him feel trapped and angry. So he had decided to dance with anyone who showed up, mostly dancing with himself regardless of who was moving beside him. Losing himself for a while in the alcohol and strong bass lines.

His body moved without him needing to give any thought to what he was doing, and he liked it that way. He imagined Rhett moving with him, matching the roll of his hips, Rhett's strong arms pinning him against his hard body. His eyes opened and met Rhett's who was sitting at a table near Link's current position.. The blond's hot gaze traveled over Link's body mentally undressing him. Lust plain on his face for anyone who was looking.

Link quickly looked away, his whole body feeling like it was on fire. He made his way off the dance floor as casually as possible, again pushing through a relentless crowd of bodies until he found himself in the large bathroom that had been recently installed. Five cubicles along one side of the room, a row of sinks and a couple of urinals along the back wall.

He'd only been in here once before, to look around and nod his approval to the builders. Their new studio space included a large area for entertaining, and after more meetings than Link thought was needed for any reason, it was agreed that there should be “public” restrooms.

The venue could easily hold a few hundred people if the outdoor area was taken into account, so they had ended up installing more toilets than Link thought would ever be needed, for any reason. He had complained to Rhett about there being a toilet for every hour of his life that had been wasted discussing how many toilets they needed. And that was just in the men's room.

He took off his glasses and splashed cold water onto his face, running his hands through his hair. He remembered Rhett's eyes on him and regardless of how he tried to fight it, felt himself responding. He looked up at the mirror for a long minute, trying to calm his growing arousal before sliding his glasses back on. He was too old to be behaving like this. 

He was about to turn to leave when the bathroom door was opened again. Music swelling into the room before fading away again. He had only barely registered it was Rhett striding towards him, when the others hands roughly grabbed him by his upper arms and pushed him backwards into the nearest stall. The door banged loudly against the wall, covering Link's yelp of pain when his shoulder and elbow connected with the side of the cubicle.

“Rhett, what are..?”

He had no chance to finish his sentence before Rhett's mouth found his, his tongue invading his mouth, his body pushing both of them forcefully further into the small space. He turned them both towards the wall along the left side, Links body hitting with enough force to cause all the stalls to shudder violently before Rhett's body crashed against the length of him pinning him in place exactly as he had imagined earlier.

“Oh, gosh,” breathed Link immediately responding to Rhett's rough manhandling, as he always did.

“You look so fucking hot, Link. I want you so bad.” Rhett breathed into Link's neck. “Right now.”

Both men pulled at each others clothes and bodies trying to get closer. A frenzy of limbs and need.

“Dude, you could have broken my arm or something.” Link said, knowing that Rhett was not listening to him, too caught up in lust and need to hear.

“You've been driving me crazy man.” His fingers tangled in Link's tie, loosening it, undoing his shirt buttons quickly, needing to touch the other man's skin. “I was watching you dance.” His hands moving firmly across Link's bare chest, pushing his shirt open widely, holding him even harder against the cubicle wall.

Links shoulder pain was forgotten when he felt Rhett's cock pressing into his thigh already hard.

“Wishing my body was against you as you moved.” Rhett continued, moaning his need. “You all naked and sweaty.”

“Rhett, we can't do this now.” Link tried with no real conviction to push the larger man away all the while pressing his hips harder against his best friend.

“I can feel how much you want me right now too. We don't have time to argue.”

Link closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall behind him while Rhett deftly unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants and boxers towards the floor. Helping them the rest of the way by moving his legs against Link's, shifting the clothing to the floor while pressing his manhood against the other's waiting need.

They continued kissing, their bodies rubbing against one another, hands trying to give some relief. Rhett moved away from Link and began kneeling, pushing away the hands that tried to stop him.

“I need to taste you. I want your dick in my mouth.” Rhett trailed hot kisses down Link's heaving chest and stomach. Licking the length of him before settling on the floor as comfortably as he can. “Look at you.”

Link smiled holding Rhett's gaze. “Look at yourself.”

“We gotta be quick.” whispered Rhett, stroking Link's erection.

“We should not be doing this.”

“I'll stop when you come for me.” Rhett leaned forward and took Link into his waiting mouth.

The first touch of his tongue nearly sent Link over the edge. 

It was so dirty and wrong, what they were doing right now. Rhett on his knees in a bathroom stall for god’s sake. The noises filling the room from both of them sounding like the last porno he'd watched. Rhett's mouth moved over his arousal with skilled abandon, slippery and messy. Slurping and occasional near choking noises filling the small room when he was a bit too enthusiastic merging with Link’s moans and ragged breathing.

Link could barely stand, his ankles were trapped in his pants that were bunched at his feet, his belt buckle tapping loudly against the tile floor in time with their movements, his hands pressed against the wall at his sides lost in sensations when a wave of growing sadness suddenly washed over him.

His breath caught in his throat, a mix of passion and pain, “Rhett, this hurts too much.”

Rhett stopped slowly, looking up at his friend. “Your arm? I'm sorry. Do you want me to...?”

Link cuts him off with a tortured moan, his hand reaching for Rhett, guiding the other man’s mouth back to his throbbing cock. “Loving you. Loving you, it's hurting too much.”

And then he's holding Rhett in place with one hand tangled in his hair, gripping onto the top of the stall's wall with the other, his knuckles turning white under the strain of trying to support his weight, adjusting his grip constantly to stop the edge of the wall that's digging into his palm from cutting his skin, trying to maintain his balance as he continued thrusting into the tight hot warmth. The designers had not had this in mind he guessed as he tried to lose himself.

“Come for me, Link.” Rhett moaned around Link as he blinked tears from his eyes. “I wanna make you feel good.”

Moments later Link cried out Rhett's name into the room, only just managing to keep his balance, grabbing onto Rhett's shoulders.

Rhett stood into his arms helping to hold Link in place, kissing his neck and collarbone, licking across his adam's apple, his hands traveling over the front of Link's body as Link's held him tightly around his neck until his breathing eventually slowed. Link's hand moved between their bodies but Rhett stopped him before he reached his goal, wiping his eyes and tear streaked face while Link was distracted and not looking up at him.

“We don't have time for what I need from you.” Rhett said, trying to keep the sorrow from his voice.

“But I wanna...”

“Sshhh Link. You need to recover a bit, and we need more time. I need you inside me. I need you.”

They continued moving against one another but with less urgency now. “I'll wait until I can. Tonight, tomorrow, next week. I need you to fuck me. I don't want anything else.”

“You'll wait?” Link felt stupid for how good this made him feel.

“As long as it takes.”

Their kissing finally wound down and it was all too soon that Link found himself alone in the stall, straightening his clothing as best he could with his trembling hands.

Without Rhett beside him he began questioning whether Rhett would wait. Link hung his head listening to his rational mind tell him he had no cause to be jealous or upset. That Rhett was in the same situation as he was. But his heart was not listening to the same old monologue. He could not keep doing this.


	2. Something to talk about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An already difficult situation gets a whole lot worse.

Part Two - Something to talk about

Link stopped the running faucet at the sink, listening hard. He thought he could hear a groaning sound coming from the end stall. The one right next to the cubicle he and Rhett had just left.

Oh, my dear Christ, he thought as he turned towards the closed door, the world tilting dangerously, his wet hands dangling at his sides. There was no way that this could be happening. His mind raced back over the past twenty minutes and there was no spin he could put on this. The man in there may as well have had a fucking window.

Whoever was behind the door held their entire lives in their hands. The business, their families. He wished desperately that Rhett was still with him; he would know what to do, but it was probably better that it was just Link. Rhett's sheer size was intimidating enough for people without being in a highly charged situation in such a small space. Link didn't want to have to bully whoever it was to silence. But if he had to he would. There was too much at stake.

He approached the door, pushing against it carefully testing if it was locked. It swung open part way before being stopped by a large immobile something on the floor. Link squeezed through the gap and looked down at the disheveled man slouched between the toilet and the wall. One arm holding onto the bowl trying to keep upright, vomit drying on his shirt. A lot of vomit. Link stopped himself from gagging. He was in enough shit already without puking on the stranger as well.

“You ok?” he asked finally, trying to keep his tone neutral, when what he really wanted to be asking was, am I ok? Are we ok? the collective we that included Rhett and their families and crew.

The semi-familiar young man looked up at Link, blinking several times. “Link?” he asked rubbing his eyes rapidly, an embarrassing amount of wonder in his voice.

Link shuffled in place, then with some resolve met the man's gaze again. He looked to be about 18. Maybe 20. Christ, was he a fan? Links stomach clenched painfully at the thought. But he thought he vaguely remembered seeing him with Chase and Jen earlier in the evening.

“Yeah, that's me. Have uh. Have we meet?”

“Yeah, I uh. I'm the new intern,” the other man's chin drops to his chest as he continues, his words slurring, “I was too nervous to meet you guys before. Guess I had a bit much to drink.”

Not the best first impression that new staff had made on him, but amazingly enough not the worst either.

“Look uh, you can't stay in here ok? Let me help you up.” He started reaching for the drunk intern before realizing the man was covered in mess. “This is a little awkward, uh....” Stopping mid-sentence before continuing, “What's your name, son?”

“Uh. I feel sick.”

“Yeah. What's your name?”

“Andy,” his head rolled back hitting the wall behind him hard. “And you're Link Neal.”

“Last time I checked yeah. Look uh, Andy, you can't stay in here. Can you get up?”

“Nah, I'm good man. It's pretty, you know, comfortable. This a nice nice place you guys got here.”

Link took a steadying breath and pressed on. “I don't normally ask this of my interns within five minutes of meeting them, but, take off your shirt, Andy. I'm gonna help you up, you can't stay in here. But I'm not,” Link gestured towards the shirt in sweeping arcs. “Getting any of whatever you've been eating for the past five years on me.”

Once the other man had pulled his shirt off in the most complicated way possible, Link bent down and slipped his arms around the other man, locking his hands behind his back. Andy couldn't help very much, but Link managed to lift him to his feet and lean him against the wall, his own body pressed against him holding them both up.

“Was that Rhett in here?” Andy mumbled against Link's neck.

Link pulled back looking at the new intern. He kept his expression as neutral as possible, leaving some time before replying to see if the other man had anything else to add, but the drunk man just blinked slowly, head lolling about.

“No, he ah... I think he's hanging with our families.”

“I thought I heard him.” The younger said before he was suddenly blushing profusely and then started giggling.

Link didn’t bother stopping his eyes from rolling. “Something funny?”

“I had the weirdest dream, man.”

“Oh?”

Andy at last realized he was talking to his boss, closed his mouth, and avoided eye contact. “Yeah, I uh. I guess I passed out for a while.”

“What did you dream about?” Link asked, unsure if he was doing the right thing or not.

“You and Rhett. You know,” more giggling,”Getting it on. Was pretty full on, man.” Andy suddenly jerked to the left knocking Links glasses violently from his face and heaved loudly into the toilet. Link managed to stop the younger man landing head first into the bowl, bracing one leg against the stall wall, holding his waist tightly.

“You're not the first person to dream about that according to our social media expert,” he said as he handed Andy a bunch of toilet paper once he had stopped retching, still holding him tightly, trying to keep them both mostly upright. Eyes darting around the floor quickly trying to see where his glasses had come to rest. “Rhett and I don't, get it on. But, it sounds like I might like that better than what I'm doing right now.”

“It was intense, man”

“I can imagine.” he deadpanned.

Link helped the other man out of the stall with some difficulty, and they headed out of the bathroom at last. He stopped once they were in line of sight of other party goers.

Quite a few people closest to them seemed to be blatantly staring. Link mentally assessed the picture. He was standing with his clothing in disarray, hair messed, tie still undone from Rhett's insistent hands clawing at his body, shirt hanging out with a half-naked young man draped around him.

He looked like he had been doing exactly what he had been, aside from the implied partner. Link tried to look as natural as possible, pushing away images of his friend at his feet. Nothing inappropriate to see here. He only then noticed that he wasn't seeing anything very clearly. Despite this, his hand moved automatically to push up his missing glasses. His right shoulder twinged in pain. Perfect.

Where the hell were they? He squinted at the people in front of them.

“Uh, Stevie? Chase? Jen? Anyone useful? I need a hand over here.”

Chase arrived first, full of questions.

“Later. Firstly, does this guy work for me?”

“Yeah, that's Andy. He's the new intern.”

“Ok. Look, will you go find my glasses for me, please? I'm taking Andy to my office. Could you get Rhett for me too?”

“Sure, Boss. Do you need a hand?” Chase asked gesturing towards the man drooling on the front of Link's shirt.

“Yeah, just grab someone else to help me quick. I bashed my arm somehow and it's hard keeping this guy upright. I really need my glasses and I need Rhett.”

“Did you not catch up with Rhett before?”

“Huh? What?”

“Oh, he was asking after you not long ago.”

“Ah, no. I haven't seen him for a while. Even if I had. I have a situation now that requires his attention. Can you just get my glasses and Rhett for me? I can't drag this guy around with me all night.”

“Sorry Link. Maybe stay there til I'm back.”

Andy was all but asleep on his shoulder, his body feeling more and more like dead weight. Link sighed and tried to adjust their balance before he could be knocked to the floor. “So, you come here often?” he murmured.

Incoherent mumbling and vomit tinged breath wafted towards him. How could he not have noticed him when he had first entered the bathroom? Had he even looked at the stall doors?”

Christy suddenly appeared before them. “What in the world happened to you?”

Link jumped a little. “New intern apparently.”

“Seriously? Are you ok?” She reached over and brushed some hair from his eyes, “You don't look very good.”

“He's heavy.” He tried his best to maintain eye contact. “And he smells really bad. How's your night going?”

“Better than yours I think! Where are your glasses?”

“I'll have him sorted in a minute. Chase is finding my glasses. Fell off when I was stopping this guy from diving into the toilet. Maybe get me a drink and I'll meet you back at the table?”

“Sure you don't want some help?”

“Just a drink. Chase is getting some more muscle. Something strong, please. The ah, drink.” He kissed her quickly beside her lips trying to exude normality before hoisting the intern again to get more leverage. “Like, really strong.”

Shortly after, Chase returned with Rhett following closely. Rhett took Link's glasses from Chase's hands as they approached and carefully placed them on Link's upturned face. The tension in Links faces visibly drained once his friend came into proper focus.

“Rhett, this is Andy. He's our new intern.”

“Where'd you find him?”

“Will you help me get him to our office?” Link asked Chase before turning towards Rhett. “He can sleep on the old couch in there for a while. I don't really want him sleeping on anything newer.”

“I can help,”replied Rhett moving to take Chases place.

“No, Rhett. He's about passed out and will just screw your back. But, we need to talk.”

Rhett and Link moved into the adjourning room once their newest staff member was settled.

Link had called a taxi, and Chase had agreed to go home with him and stay over if Andy lived alone.

“So, you gonna tell me what the hell happened?” Rhett asked frustrated at the time it had taken before he and Link were alone again.

“Well, you were there for most of it. I found Andy in the stall next to ours.”

“What!?”

“Yeah.” Link removed his glasses and put them on the nearest surface, rubbing his face with his hands.

“Are you fucking kidding?”

“No Rhett, I'm not. Why else would I be dragging around a half-naked kid?

“Did he? Does he know what..? Has he said anything?”

“Of course he knows what we were doing, and who we are. You were there, man. But, I think he thinks he was dreaming. At least that's the version I've tried to encourage. The guy is plastered. It might stick. Or, he'll wake up in a week and remember something that confirms he can't have been asleep.”

“What are we gonna do?”

“Act cool and deny. As usual. What else do you suggest? Line up a 'will it implode your marriage & career' episode with twenty questions we answer a hundred percent truthfully for a change?”

“Don't snap at me, Link.” He tried to reach for Link's hand, but the smaller man pulled it away before Rhett could, picking up his glasses and putting them back on again.

“That's why we are in so much shit, Rhett. Anyone could walk in.”

Rhett moved to the chair next to Link and pulled him close. “I know you're freaking out, but don't push me away. We're on the same team man. No matter what. We'll figure this out. All of it.”


	3. Sing while you’re winning.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link sings for the crowd.

After dealing with Andy as best he could for the night Link had headed back to his wife’s table.  He collapsed into the chair next to her, grabbing the drink and finishing it in one long go.

“What a night.”

“Never dull when you two are involved.” she smiled at him.  “Come dance with me a while.”

“Aren’t you sick of dancing?”

“Not with you, honey.”

They moved to the dance floor and melded against one another easily.  “You’re a sight for sore eyes, you know that.”

Christy smiled against his neck.  “I do.  You are looking really stressed, love.  Anything you wanna talk about?”

“I’ll be alright.  Don’t worry about me.”   He held her close and tried to put all other thoughts from his mind and focus wholly on his wife.  “I love you.” he said quietly.

“I know you do, silly.  Just relax now honey and feel the music a while.”

Some time later a karaoke machine was turned on and various guests went up on stage to sing at the top of their lungs, mostly off key.

Link’s head was pounding, and he didn’t blame Christy needing to leave a short time later.

He watched as Jen left the stage trailing after many of their crew, who had occupied the stage for the last three songs. They weren’t too bad really. Not that either he or Rhett were in any danger of competition.  He stood and made his way to the stage area carefully.

* * *

Rhett turned back to his table when Jen left the stage, clapping and laughing along with the rest of his family and friends. He was missing Link, but he guessed his friend would come over when he thought it would be ok. The last time he had seen him he was talking with his wife. Probably trying to start the damage control. Rhett tried to keep the fear and uncertainty away. He couldn’t change anything now. They would know in the coming days what Andy remembered and what he thought he remembered.

The opening chords of a song he hadn’t heard in years started but it hardly registered until he recognized his friends distinctive but now tortured voice mumbling through the first couple of lines of the song.

_When you were here before, Couldn’t look you in the eye,_

He heard Link take a breath in each time, too close to the mic, terrified of what he would see if he turned around. He sounded beautiful and broken.

_You’re just like an angel, Your skin makes me cry,_

Other party goers were starting to whistle and cheer, moving towards the slightly raised stage area.

_You float like a feather, In a beautiful world,_

Rhett finally turned in his chair looking up at Link, unable to stop himself any longer. The other man was hardly moving at all, holding the microphone close to his chest, looking down at the floor, his hair hanging over his forehead, his right hand the only part of his body moving, keeping time by tapping on his thigh.

_I wish I was special,_

The crowd seemed to hold its collective breath waiting…

_You’re so fucking special._

Despite Link putting no special emphasis as he sang the line, the whole venue erupted in loud cheering and whistling when he didn’t censor the lyric, but just continued fairly steadily, not increasing the power of his voice as he entered the chorus, appearing completely oblivious to the excitement he’d roused in the crowd.

All Rhett can hear though was the tortured words Link had said earlier wrapped around the lyrics of this song -  it hurts too much.

_But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo, What the hell am I doing here?_

_I don’t belong here._

It seemed to Rhett that everyone was only listening for a particular lyric, and definitely weren’t hearing the pain in his friend’s voice. And if they did, maybe they thought it was all part of the performance,  And, maybe that was for the best.  He wanted to go onto the stage and at least sing with him, if he couldn’t wrap him in his arms and take him away from all the pain. But he was too scared of how that would look.  

There were way too many YouTubers present to stop a clear video of Link dropping the F bomb multiple times from appearing online within half an hour. And it would only be made worse if he approached Link and Link reacted without thinking. Which seemed to be a likely outcome.

Link glanced up at the crowd for a second before his eyes moved back to the spot in front of his feet.

_I don’t care if it hurts, I want to have control,_

He ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back on his forehead before it fell immediately back into place, sticking to his skin, sweat running into his eyes.

_I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul,_

_I want you to notice, When I’m not around,_

Link lifted his gaze from the floor looking directly at Rhett without any hesitation, knowing exactly where he would be.

_You’re so fucking special,_

Smiling a little at his cheering and excited friends and colleagues, he winks at Rhett, before moving his eyes across the crowd he’d managed to attract. It might have been some sweat in his eye. But Rhett knew it wasn’t.

_I wish I was special._

Link moved around the stage area, playing the crowd now, encouraging people to join in the chorus but his smile never touched his eyes.

_But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo, What the hell am I doing here?_

_I don’t belong here._

Rhett glanced at Jessie but she was smiling and clapping along with everyone else. He looked back up trying to gain eye contact with his best friend.

_Oh, oh_

_He’s running out again, He’s running out…_

No one seemed to register the pronoun change either. Links eyes closed as he finally unleashed the full power and range of his voice into the next verse. His head fell back as he sang, focusing completely on getting it right.

_He run run run run…_

_Run…_

Rhett’s breathing caught as he felt the raw emotion in his best friend’s voice. How was anyone listening to him not getting onto the stage and holding him, least of all himself. But he stayed impotently standing beside his wife, unable to rescue his best friend and lover.

_Whatever makes you happy,_

Link stopped again in the center of the stage area abruptly, stumbling a little, moving back into himself, slowly closing out the noise around him.

_Whatever you want,_

_You’re so fucking special,_

He lowered his head, eyes again glued to the floorboards and sings the remaining lyrics with haunting clarity and pain.

_I wish I was special…_

_But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo,_

_What the hell am I doing here?_

_I don’t belong here,_

_I don’t belong here._

* * *

Link stood looking out over the crowd as the closing chords of the song rang out. His expression neutral, almost calculating. He loved these people. They don’t see me, even when I’m standing right in front of them, screaming my soul into their ears he thought, pain welling in his chest.

He wasn’t sure how to escape the stage so stood another half a minute just surveying the upturned cheering and smiling faces. He began smiling a little, realizing his blank stare was a bit creepy in the long term.

He raised the mic to his mouth again.

“Thanks, guys. Uh,” he cleared his throat and continued, “Track never available at Rhett and Link dot com, slash store, store, store.”

He waited for everyone to quieten down again.

“So, I hope everyone’s having a great time. What a night huh? Uh, I’m sure legal or Stevie will have a chat soon. So THAT’S gonna be fun, sorry about that. But, I hope anyone taking any uh, footage here will be thoughtful and censor me in post.  Or just keep this between us..”

He looked out into the room again. “Was just tryin’ to entertain the people!  Now, I won’t hold it against you if the guaranteed views are too tempting.  But, if you do,” He paused letting the silence hold before adding, “I’ll send Rhett over to fuck you up” he deadpanned.

Everyone went crazy again, laughing and clapping his speech as Stevie jumped onto the stage trying to shepherd him off, causing the crowd to cheer even louder.  

Stevie moved him quickly to the edge of the stage, talking fast in his ear, gesturing to Rhett to stay where he was.   Link couldn’t hear the specifics of what she was saying but could guess the overall sentiment. She was dropping a few choice words herself. He smirked a little and placed the mic on the nearest surface then started down the steps, refusing to meet Rhett’s gaze, afraid of what he would do if he did, while putting his arm around Stevie in a side hug.

“Don’t worry so much, we’re amongst friends here.”

“Link, don’t be an idiot. You know what it’s like.”

“Have a little faith. Rhett’s a scary guy.”

She took his arm,  dragging him out of the room into the darkened hallway leading to their offices.

“Are you trying to piss me off Link?”

Link leant against the wall across from Stevie who was scowling at him in frustration.

“Of course not.”  he thought back over the events of the evening. There were major cracks. How long until it all falls?

“I just don’t think me saying fuck a couple of times is the biggest issue we’re facing. It’s a party. Lighten up. Everyone here are adults. I doubt anyone will post it, if they do, so what?” his tone changed to that of quiet anger. “What’s a few fucks between friends, right?”

“You’re not just Link and Rhett, hanging out and having a laugh. You built this from the ground up Link, and now you’re screwing around in front of people you shouldn’t trust. You are a brand. With sponsorships and contractual responsibilities. And that brand is clean.”

“And bullshit.”

She stopped and looked at him closely. “Are you ok, Link?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“What happened tonight?” she took a step closer to him, reaching a hand in his direction before letting it fall to her side.

“Maybe I’ve just had too much to drink. I’m gonna head home, alright?”

“I don’t think that you have. I’ve seen you drunk, and it doesn’t look like this. What happened?  Let me help, Link.  Whatever it is.  I’m here.  Please.”

“We can talk about it tomorrow if we need to. I want to go home.”

“It would be better if you stayed. At least a little longer.”

“Trust me, Stevie, it really wouldn’t be. I’ve had enough. We can unpack this tomorrow.” He moved around her and out into the crowd and noise.

He found Rhett’s table again with ease and smiled broadly at Jessie, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

“I’m heading off now.  Was really nice you could make it. You and Christy talk about the weekend?”

“Yeah, I think we’ll have it at our house if that’s alright? Mid afternoon. But, I’m calling her again tomorrow to sort the details.”

“Sounds great. I’ll see you then.” She reached for his arm as he began to straighten.

“Are you ok?”

“Of course. You know me.” he smiled hoping it looked better than it felt.

He turned to Rhett who had come around the table to stand next to him as he was speaking with his wife.

“There you are, Rhett.”

“Are you leaving?”

“Yeah. I’m, you know. Tired and what not.”

“Let me get you home.”

“I’m just gonna crash here. Don’t tell Stevie though, she’s wanting to have a talk.” he moved around Rhett and trying to end the conversation.

“Ok, well I’ll just get you settled in then. Come on buddy.”

Link’s eyes flicked to Jessie, and then back up to Rhett.  “No, man.  I’m good.  You should stay.  One of us should.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Come on, man.  I’ll just walk you in.”

“I’ve had enough tonight, Rhett.  Just let me go.” he looked over his shoulder to Jessie again, waving and offering a smile, raising his voice.  “Take good care Jessie.  Thanks again for comin’.”  He let his hand linger on Rhett’s forearm a moment before turning away.

Link moved into the dimly lit hallway that led through to their offices and work space.  The sound of the crowd was shut out completely once the door swung shut.  As he moved further away from the noise outside and from Rhett, Link felt like he could breathe again for the first time since he had been pushed into the stall.


	4. My Hometown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link goes home

Part Four: My Hometown

Link stood under the steaming water, letting the heat relax his muscles while he waited for something to happen; tears, panic, beating himself up for his behavior on stage and off. But nothing came. Just a dull ache in his right shoulder and the sense that he should have been feeling something more. 

He wasn’t even feeling sad anymore. He thought he should be feeling worried about his current state of mind, but he simply didn’t feel anything at all. He stood under the heat, his eyes gazing, unseeing, at the wall in front of him that his left hand rested on, helping him keep his balance without conscious thought.

He reluctantly turned off the shower, squeegeed off the excess water from his body, dried himself thoroughly and pulled his dress pants back on sans underwear or shoes and socks. He slipped his arms into his shirt, being careful of his shoulder that was beginning to feel actually hurt, buttoning it part of the way closed. He ran his hands through his hair not bothering with the mirror and made his way down to the GMM set as he knew he would, putting his glasses back on once they had demisted enough to see out of.

He turned on the overhead lights, moving around the cameras carefully and sat down in his chair, facing forward. 

He looked at the camera, feeling the presence of the mythical beasts that waited on the other side for him and Rhett to spend some time with them again, and the absence of his best friend beside him.

He always felt as if each person was sitting directly behind the camera, meeting his gaze as he interacted with them and Rhett. He had always believed that those watching felt the same connection as well. That it wasn’t just a show. That they were all connected in this crazy world. During their mythical morning. Sharing one another's lives across a medium that hadn’t even existed when many of them were born.

He smiled softly and closed his eyes.

“I have made a mistake Mythical Beasts.” he said clearly to the empty room as he opened his eyes again and stared intently at the camera. 

“I thought I could have it all, but I really have nothing at all. Maybe… You gotta understand… I love Christy. I really do. But. I think I really love him as well. And this… is just too much now.” he leaned forward on the desk, letting his head fall to the side a little, glancing down at the surface of the desk. “How can I possibly love so many people and lie so easily to them all?”

He watched the skin alongside his wrist pulse with his heartbeat a moment before asking, “What would you do?” waiting, looking at the camera intently, appearing to listen.

“Hmm, That’s a good idea. But I had tried that for close on 15 years.” He flashed a small smile before falling into silence for a few minutes, playing with his wedding band in his habitual way.

“You know, I think this is bordering on insanity, so I better stop this. Thanks for the talk guys. Stay mythical.” he pushed up from the desk and walked off the set without looking back. 

\---------------------------------------- 

The following morning Rhett arrived much earlier than usual despite the late night he’d had. He moved quickly from space to space searching for Link but found nothing but sparkling screens throughout the offices and Link’s desk squared away with military precision. He opened the top drawer and all items were arranged by type, frequency of use and size. Rhett stared at his reflection in LInk’s monitor trying to figure out a plan. 

Jen approached looking concerned. “Is Link ok?”

“Hmm? Ah, yeah he will be.”

“Have you seen this place?” 

“Yeah, I’ll talk to him once he gets in.” 

But, Link didn’t arrive at the time they’d all agreed to start. And he was still not there when Rhett finally gave up and agreed to leave for lunch at 2 pm. 

Rhett jumped when his phone rang as he was coming back into the studio, caller ID flashing Link’s name. Relief flooded him, followed closely by worry as he answered the call, hoping that he wouldn’t sound annoyed or dismissive.

“Link? Where are you? Are you alright?” He knew he was sounding panicked, but maybe that would be ok.

The silence stretched on painfully long, making Rhett question if the call had even connected properly before his oldest friend’s voice came on sounding eerily calm.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m at home. I’ll be back in a few days.” 

“Please, can I come over? We could go for a drive or something?” 

“No, I’m home, home. At Mom’s.”

Rhett stared at his phone disbelieving. “Is she ok? Has something happened?”

“Yes, she’s fine. I just need some time out. I’m sorry for not talking to you first. But. You know. It happened. I’m here now.”

“You’re scaring me a bit Link. Is this because of what happened last night?”

“I’m fine. Seriously. Just need some southern lovin’.” 

Rhett waited, knowing it was sometimes best to let Link collect his thoughts.

“Keep Andy away from the set until I’m back, yeah? A couple of days. And, uh don’t call unless it’s seriously urgent, ok?” 

“Ok Link,” Rhett replied quietly. “ How about you call me tonight and let me know how you’re doing?” 

“Yes. Ok. Bye.” 

The call terminated before Rhett had a chance to say anything more. He walked into their office and closed the door. How could he fix this if he couldn’t even talk to him?

\------------------------------------------------- 

Link sat at the kitchen table in his mom’s house watching her fix coffees for them both. He always felt like a giant in his mom's house; everything that much smaller than he remembered. And he was never sure if that felt good, or scary for him. 

“So, what's happened?” Sue asked as she placed their mugs on the table and sat across from Link, “It’s good to see you, don’t get me wrong. But the last time I saw you by yourself out of the blue was in the first year of your marriage after dodging frying pans.” 

“I just missed you is all.”

“No, it’s not, but that’ll do for now. How was the grand opening?” 

“Good. Busy. You know. I wish you coulda seen it.”

“And Christy ok? She’s not hitting you with household appliances?”

“No, she’s good. Kids too before you ask. Everyone healthy and happy, touch wood.” 

“And, Rhett?” 

“Ah, yeah. He’s good.” 

“And, how’s my boy?” 

Links voice catches a little as he replied “I’m...Uh. Well. I’m alright. I will be alright.” 

“Gonna talk about it?”

“I kinda can’t. But I’ll deal with it. I just wanted to be home while I do ok?”

“Of course honey. You do whatever you need. But I think getting it off you chest would do you a world of good.” 

“Don't be so sure, ma” 

“Why don’t you try me?”

“Have you been watching the show much?” Link asked trying to steer the conversation away from his own morbid thoughts of self-destruction. 

“Yes, I have. Not every day lately, what with work, but I can normally catch up on the weekend,” she reached across the table, taking his hand in both of hers. “Honey, why don’t you just tell me what’s going on? I won’t talk to anyone else about it.” 

“I can’t Mom, but thanks.” 

“You’re worrying me.” 

“Did Dad ever cheat on you?” Link heard himself asking suddenly, regretting it immediately when he saw his mother’s expression.

“No.” she replied slowly. “What are you saying?” 

“Nothin’. I just. Was wondering. You know, why you guys split.” but it sounded weak to his own ears as well.

“It was just better for us apart,” she squeezed his hand tightly. “ I know you’re super popular now, honey. It must be hard. Meeting new people all the time that look up to you. Have you fallen for someone else, Link?” 

He could tell she didn’t genuinely believe what she was asking. “No. Of course not.” 

“I don’t know that believe you.” 

Feeling suddenly angry he said, “I have always loved someone else, Mom. I was never unfaithful.” he met her eyes with a childish challenge in his tone and gaze, wanting her to become angry and yell at him so he could be justified at being angry with her. Shocked at himself for telling her this truth after all these years.

“What are you saying, Charles? You’ve been in love with someone else all along?” 

Oh boy, Charles was never a good sign. “Sort of. Yes.” 

“Does Christy know?” 

“Probably. If she ever let herself think about it.” 

“Who?” 

“It’s not important. It’s just hard at the moment.” 

“Honey, now I love you. But. Have you heard what you are saying to me?” 

Link looked around the brightly lit kitchen. It seemed too obscenely homely to be destroying his relationship with his mother in. 

“I’m not saying anything. Only that life is rough sometimes. I love Christy.” 

“And, some other girl all along? God, Link!” 

“I didn’t say that. And it’s not so black and white.” 

“So, why didn’t you marry her then?” 

“Because I fell in love with Christy, and I thought I could build a life, a family with her. And I have.” 

“And why not this other girl?”

“It was just never an option. And I don’t regret that. I love my family. Please, Mom. I’m not saying I’m wanting to leave or do anything to break up my family. I'm just going through some stuff.” 

“Don't you think your wife would be going through some stuff too if she could hear you right now?”

“I know that Mom. Ok? I told you I didn’t want to talk.” 

‘Don’t you dare blame me for getting upset at you for being a jerk, Charles. If you married Christy while loving someone else, and 15 years later are still going through, “stuff!?” Seriously honey.”

“Hmm.” 

“Have you talked to Rhett about this?” 

“No.” 

“At all? I find that hard to believe!” 

“No. I mean he knew. Back before I met Christy. How I was feeling. I think he figured I got over it. And I did. Mom. you’re making this into something it’s not ok? Nothing's changed.” 

“Who is it?” 

“It’s not important.” 

“Do you still have contact with her?” 

“No. Not how I used to. I just… Ok, Mom. I had the opportunity to see her again. Recently. But I never went. But it kinda put me in an odd mood for a while. Hence the question. I’m not here because of that. Just work, and pressure. Expectation. I just needed some time out. We’ve gone off on a tangent that is not at all relevant.” 

The conversation wandered to safer ground over the next cup of coffee, but, both parties were wary of the other. Link felt mostly relieved his Mom had allowed herself to be redirected. But beneath that he felt scared at how close he had come to finally telling her the truth and simultaneously angry at himself for not continuing on. He would not have this opportunity again and he had chickened out, adding more lies. 

It was probably for the best, though. And the more his Mom relaxed as time went on, the more he felt he’d made the right decision.

So, he talked about family happenings, the show, the weather in LA, the price of gas and all the while Rhett sat beside him in his mind, watching Link lying to his mother by omission. A neutral expression on his beautiful face.

“You know, Ma, it’s been a long 24 hours. Would it be alright if I had a sleep?” 

“Of course dear. I’ve made up your bed fresh.” 

He kissed his Mom, hugging her for a long moment before making his way to his childhood bedroom.


	5. More than words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reminiscing on the past. Some sexual content.

Link awoke the following morning with the sun streaming in his eyes and his phone ringing beside his pillow. He reached for it, knocking it further away initially before finally managing to swipe the screen to answer.

“Yellow?”

“Link?”

“Yeah.” Link replied, breathless at hearing his voice.

“You ok? You sound weird?”

“Yeah. Just woken up. What’s up?”

“Are you still in NC. Home, home, yeah?” 

“Yeah, I told you I am. I also asked you not to call.” But his heart was glad he had.

“I know. But I had to. It would be dumb otherwise. I’m flying out in a couple of hours. Will be there later tonight. I’ll come see you in the morning. You staying at your mama’s? Don’t fly back to LA tonight.” 

“Dude, I don’t want you to do that.” 

“I know. But, I’m doing it anyway. You don’t need space from me, man. We’re a team. I’ll see you tomorrow, around nine? I’ll meet you at the traffic light.” 

The call dropped out before he could say anything else. He rolled over onto his stomach smiling unconsciously into his pillows.

He made his way downstairs again, pleased to see no one was home. He left a note for his Mom and left the house, jumping down the porch steps and began running. 

He headed away from the center of town, keeping an easy rhythm for the first short while; concerned about the pain in his shoulder and the niggling pain in his right knee that was surfacing more and more as he aged, but he increased his speed steadily as time when on. His mind wandered to the bathroom stall, and he let himself feel the sadness again to try and figure out exactly what was causing his pain and internal crisis. 

Despite his anxiety he had always been someone to live in the moment, much to the surprise of those that didn’t know him well. If it wasn’t a situation he could change, he wouldn't waste his time thinking about it. Rhett was alway much more likely than him to dwell on a difficult moment. Efficiency was always more important to Link than soul searching. It seemed counter intuitive and a waste of resources. But, he had been avoiding thinking about his relationship with Rhett with any depth on purpose. Above and beyond his natural inclinations, for a long time, maybe always really.

He thought back to their very first kiss. Not the childish playing around kind, but the first toe-curling, mind-blowing kiss that had lasted five hours and resulted in neither of them marrying as virgins. That night had been some kind of magic. Both of them ready and willing to leap.

Link had been studying for some exam or other. Rhett had returned from a night out, hyped and excited. He had had a couple of drinks but was in no way drunk. Just relaxed. Confident and calm, his eyes dancing with glee.

Link remembered, even now after all these years, looking up and seeing Rhett’s tall gangly frame entering their dorm and feeling the relief and calm that came in with him. Rhett was home safe. And he was safe now too.

He’d smiled up at Rhett and told him it was great to see him because it had been.

Rhett had laughed. “You only just saw me” 

‘Well, I’m glad to be seein’ ya again.” Link had replied. 

“You sweet on me?” Rhett had asked, laughing.

“I wouldn’t throw ya outta bed.” Link had replied steadily, his heart racing. Not even sure himself if he was kidding.

Both men had watched one another closely before Rhett had walked purposefully towards Link.

“I don’t know if you are joking right now, but I’m not.” and he’d grabbed Link’s face and pulled it to his own and kissed him. Passionately, no hint of pretense or pranking and Link had matched him without a second thought.

The first time had been over in a matter of moments. Hot hands finding hard need in each other pants. Minimal stroking, maximum grinding, heavy breathing and tongue wrestling. One man’s orgasm causing the other to follow immediately. And later, lying sweating and breathless on the bottom bunk staring into nothingness, arms still thrown around the others shoulder, squashed under their body weight, the halting conversation.

“So, uh. How’s study been going?” Rhett had asked for something to say.

“Good. But, that was better. Way better.” Link had replied. Feeling uncharacteristically brave.

Rhett had turned to look at his best friend.

“You’re not mad or grossed out?” 

“No. I’m a bit disappointed we’ve stopped, though.” 

And so they began again. Slowly. Warm, slippery kisses.

Telling each other how each kiss felt. How each touch felt. How often they had thought of one another.

“That feels good.” “That tickles.” and “You’re going to make me pass out.” 

“Don’t stop that.” “Harder.” “Softer.” and “You’re gonna make me cry.” and way too many “Please, don’t tell anyone. I love this. You.” 

Both had wanted to give of themselves completely to the other. To be taken. So they had taken turns. Rhett had volunteered to go first, but Link had wanted to. He wanted to know what it would feel like for Rhett later, and he had wanted to show Rhett that he trusted him explicitly. 

Link had lain on Rhett’s bed, looking up at his dearest friend. Matching the other man’s intense concentration. Trying desperately to relieve Rhett’s concerns, and talk himself into relaxing as well. 

“Maybe, if you uh, touch yourself a little bit. It might help.” Rhett had said haltingly.

“Yeah, ok. Just do it ok? But, slow.” Link had tried to smile, but he was too nervous. “I want you to do this. Please. It’s just a bit, you know. Scary.” 

Rhett had moved further down the bed so he could see what he was doing. He’d applied a generous amount of lube on his middle finger, and carefully began inserting it into Link, terrified it was going to hurt him, or make Link hate him.

Link’s breathing had became laboured immediately and Rhett could feel him tensing around his finger. “You need to try and relax a bit, I think. I’m not gonna move anymore, ok?. Until you’re ready, ok? Just try breathe, and relax as much as you can.” 

“Will you kiss me?” Link remembered staring at his best friend and seeing the concern and love in his every expression.

Rhett had moved back up the bed, changing the angle of his hand slightly, but had kept as still as he could while Link had adjusted to the invasion.

They’d kissed again, passionately, having to stop occasionally for air.

“Ok. You can move now.” Link had said, beginning to stroking himself again slowly, as Rhett moved in and out of him gently. “More, Rhett. Please. Just. You know. Careful.” 

Rhett had kissed his neck, licking and sucking the tender skin as he’d slipped another finger inside Link. Again waiting until he’d moved on his hand, encouraging him to begin fucking him slowly with his fingers. And they had gone on like that for a painfully long time. Both men wanting more, but both understanding that they had to take time. And it was beautifully intense. The trust and care each was showing one another, making love more than any particular act would be.

And then it was time. He’d applied lube to Rhett, telling him how much he wanted him. That he needed him to fuck him, and it was gonna be ok, and to just be gentle to start, but he was ready.

“Please, Rhett. I want you now. It’s not hurting now, just feels really good. I want to feel you inside me.” 

Rhett had kissed him again, keeping his weight off of him as he guided himself into his best friend. Just a little at time. Stopping when Link had put his hand on Rhett’s hip, slowing his progress. Watching the pain flash over LInk’s face, his eyes rolling in his head.

“God, man, it hurts bad. But fuck. It feels good too.” his fist stroking his cock as he tried to relax his muscles again to accept the other man. He’d let his hand drop from Rhett’s hip. Rocking his own, causing Rhett to slide in a further inch or so. He’d felt like he was going to be torn apart. Burning pain, causing him to gasp again, but he remembered the feeling of Rhett’s fingers not very long ago, and how intensely amazing they had felt as time went on. He just needed to relax and let his body adjust.

Rhett’s moans filled the room. “You feel so good Link. So hot, and tight and you’re so sexy right now. I want you to fuck me too. I want you to see me like this.” 

“Yeah, I’ll fuck you. I can’t wait. You’re gonna love this.” He took deep soothing breaths. Hoping Rhett would keep his mind and be gentle. And for the most part of course he had.

They had both been so beautifully careful with one another, culminating in a pleasure and pain that neither man had ever recovered from.

Link still remembered some time later, the look on Rhett's face the first time Link had come inside him, tears in his eyes, as he moved in time with Link, Rhett’s own orgasm following quickly. The first time he had begged Link to never stop. Link had felt like a giant. King of the world. His best friend shuddering beneath him.

And he remembered later, the following morning when they had agreed that it could never happen again, feeling tiny and pathetic.

He could still hear his words to Rhett - I can’t love you like that. When all he had wanted to say was, it is only you I can love like that. And he had woken with them strangling him in his sleep more nights than he cared to count ever since.

He ran along the path leading to one of the old abandoned houses he and Rhett had visited as children and young adults. More weatherboards were gone than the last time he had seen it, rotting on the ground, windows missing glass panes, but the memories the sight provoked were technicolor brilliant. Many happy, one very sad.

He stopped beside the front stoop, chest heaving, legs tingling from the increased circulation the exercise was bringing.

Instead of going inside, he walked around the back, where a lean-to was sheltering wood never used during a winter long passed. Knowing what he would find, but needing to see it again anyway.

He lay on his stomach, carefully avoiding splinters and rolled the large stump that had been used as a chopping block aside, to reveal the wooden siding of the house.

In the very bottom right corner, faded but still legible - RM + LN in a wonky kind of heart. They had kissed that day as well. Chaste and giggling to ‘practice’ they had said. But the following day had brought moody silences and sideways glances. Both accusing the other of their own truth. They had never visited this house again. Others, yes, Many times. But this was the first time Link had returned, and he was almost certain Rhett had never been back. 

Maybe he could bring him back here tomorrow. But he knew that he wouldn’t. This house was his own shame as much as it was Rhett’s and no good could come of reminding his best friend of their cruelty to one another.

He lay beneath the lean-to for some time remembering the innocence they had lost and found together before college. The bliss they had found that night just before graduating from college and into their respective marriages and jobs. Losing touch for a time out of necessity more than coincidence. He couldn’t stand to be around him and not love him. And Rhett had not been able to either.

Until a friend’s marriage had found them spending time together again, laughing a lot more than staring sullenly. Writing a comedy song together to celebrate their friend and his wife to be. Their wives encouraging them to continue to write music, to create together. Realising they both still held similar beliefs and ideas on the universe. That they still looked up to one another, could still defer to the other, and loved to be in the same room. That their friendship was intact and strong enough to prevail.

And from there, of course, a force of its own. Working side by side every day, some weekends, working to support one another and their families. Their lives becoming utterly entwined in all ways but one. Everything Link did was for Rhett, and vice versa whether they verbalised it or not. Although they had. Quietly without ceremony when they moved to L.A. a few years later. I am doing this for you, and I am doing this for me. We are going to make it. Together. No matter what.

Then about a year ago, perhaps a little longer, they had found each other again, looking into each other's eyes, quite literally across a crowded room. Both ready and willing to leap again.

But that time Link had refused to go back on words whispered the night before. Too much life had been spent on pretences. There was a fundamental truth to them that deserved to be known. If only with one another. It had taken some time, but Rhett had finally accepted their truth as well, trusting Link to not push him away again after all the years passed.

And then, step by small step they were here. 

Side by side, but it seemed at times, miles apart. At the times they should be able to celebrate one another, they were forced into self-depreciating avoidance because of their romantic involvement.

He managed to get back on his feet and made his way to the path leading back into town again. He was beginning to feel cold now the sweat had started to dry on his skin. He headed back, a slow jog this time, imagining his best friend loping alongside him.

He stopped, pulling out his phone and dialled Rhett’s number before he could talk himself out of it.

“Link? Are you alright?” 

“Yeah. I am. Look, what time are you getting in?” 

“Ah, 10:30 I think. Mom and Dad are picking me up.” 

“Ok. Travel safe man. I’ll be thinking of ya.” 

“Yeah, me too. Link…” 

Link waited out the silence a moment for the words that wouldn’t come. “Yeah, I know man. Same here,” he said quickly, terminating the call, and started running faster, needing to move before he would scream.

He slept most of the remainder of the day, waking just after 9 and grabbed a bowl of cereal.

“I can make you something, honey?” 

“No, Mom. It’s fine. I’m uh, going over to the McLaughlin’s house soon to see Rhett.” 

“He’s here too?” 

“Yeah, he’s flying in tonight.” 

“Why didn’t you boys just come over together?” 

“He had some things to finish off, so we decided I’d come up a day earlier.” 

“He has stuff to deal with too does he?” 

“No, Mom. He just wanted to catch up with family while I was taking a break. We’re heading back to L.A on Friday.” 

She shook her head. “I don’t understand you boys.” 

“I shouldn’t be very late back. I’m not sure what time his plane is getting in though so might be sort of late.” 

“You’re a big boy. You have a key. Just try not to wake up the whole house when you get in, ok?” 

“Course, Mom. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

And then he was gone again, driving to Rhett’s house as he had a hundred times before. 

He had watched Rhett’s parents arrive back at their house with Rhett in the back seat. All laughing and talking animatedly. Neither of them had the chance to see their parents as much as they wanted to anymore.

He waited another twenty minutes in his rental car, the seat cranked back, reclining, half dozing. Thinking about what he was going to say to Rhett. He couldn’t think of any words. Only that he wanted to feel Rhett’s firm reality against his body.

He needed to speak to him alone. He was worried how he was going to react to seeing him. He climbed out of the car, marching across the road decisively. Still feeling like a little kid wanting to speak to his friend late on a school night by the time he reached the porch. 

He knocked on the front door, shuffling his feet on the welcome mat, squinting a little when the outside light was switched on.

He looked up into Mrs. McLaughlin’s expectant face. “Link! Gosh, you’re here too?” 

He smiled warmly. “Yes, I’m sorry, Ma’am. I know it’s late. Could I speak with Rhett quickly?” 

“Oh, you should come in.” She started backing away from the door to give him room to enter.

“Ah. No. I can’t uh, stay. I just. Ah, I just need to have a quick word. Maybe we could make a bit of an afternoon of it tomorrow? I’ll uh, just wait out here til he’s ready if that’s alright?” 

She frowned at him a little, but it wasn’t all the unusual for Link to behave strangely.

“I’ll send him out, love. He shouldn’t be long.” 

Link walked back down the path towards the street again slowly. There was a dim streetlight, but it was barely able to reach the McLaughlin’s driveway. Being the last house on a dead-end street meant there was very little traffic, ever, let alone at this time of night. 

Link didn’t turn when he heard the front door open and then swing shut. His friends heavy footsteps making their way towards him. He started walking slowly towards the street, knowing Rhett would follow him. He turned and made his way past the end of the road, following the path that they had created from years of crossing the paddock that backed onto the street.

They moved silently to the group of trees bordering the east side of the field. Once they were under some cover Rhett reached for the smaller man in front of him, slowing and then turning him towards him.

“Link....” Rhett began slowly.

Link looked up at him. His vision blurring from the tears in his eyes. His eyes flicking from Rhett’s eyes to his mouth, his chest, his shoulders, back to his lips then eyes, moving closer to him, swaying slightly, before hesitantly pulling the taller man into a kiss, pressing him against the nearest tree for balance for them both. Rhett matched Link’s movements, moaning softly at the feeling of Link against him. 

“It’s good to see you.” Link murmured without breaking the kiss.

“Hmm. It’s good to see you too, man.” 

They stood holding onto one another tightly. Link’s head resting against Rhett’s chest, his arms tightly around his waist. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” 

“I know. It’s alright man. We’ll work it out.” 

“I don’t know if we will, Rhett.” barely loud enough for the other man to hear.

Link listened to Rhett’s heart beating for a few more moments before pushing away. “I better go I guess.” 

“I don’t want you to.” 

“I know. But I guess we’re too old for sleepovers.”

“We could stay here a while. I think we need to talk.” 

“I think that’d be best to wait until you’ve had some sleep, and I have gotten used to you being here.”

“Can I kiss you again?” 

“Do you remember the last time you asked me that here?” 

“Yeah, I do. I’d just got back from my honeymoon.” Rhett brushed Link’s cheek with his thumb as he talked softly. “I hadn’t seen you for a while. You looked great.” 

Link looked down at their feet, toe to toe. “I said no that day.” 

“Yeah. You did. And for a lotta years. And I kept asking. Slightly different questions. Always really asking that.” 

Link looked up to Rhett again, as he had his entire life. “Ok, Rhett. You can kiss me again. And I’ll kiss you back. Happily.” He smiled and added, “But we gotta get back home before our parents wonder what we’re doing.” 

Both men laughed quietly. “Do you ever imagine our kids...Not together...but with another person like this…Hiding in trees to make out with someone in their 30s?” Rhett asked.

“No. I don’t.” Link said, and thought, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Least of all our children.

But, then he was kissing Rhett, and the world melted away as it often did and it was easy to see the sense of this, of them. There was only right at the moment.

They eventually stepped apart. 

“I’ll see ya tomorrow, Rhett.”

“Yeah. At the traffic light?” Rhett replied breathlessly.

“Sure. Bring your bike, ok? We gotta take a ride.”


	6. Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett and Link spend some time by the river.

Link waited at the lone traffic light in the center of town, straddling his bike close to the curb. Feet flat on the ground, his elbows resting in the middle of the handlebars, hands limp as he looked down at his front tire. At least some of the dirt in the tread over a decade old.

He adjusted his pack and sunglasses and looked down the street again for the fifteenth time, but there was no sign of Rhett yet. He couldn’t help but remember the countless times he had done the same thing throughout their childhood. Waiting with a racing heart for the first sign of his best friend. He was pretty early, needing to get out of the house before he had started talking with his Mom about things that needed to stay unsaid.

Three pedestrians had already approached to say hi, and to see how long he was going to be in town for. Congratulating him on GMM and their success in LA. Asking if Rhett was around too. They had become some kind of celebrities in their home town and surrounding areas over the past few years. Link hoped they would have a chance to have some privacy, but noted to himself with some annoyance that they would have to be careful.

He got off of his bike, removing his helmet and sunglasses, propping the bike against the nearest shop wall and went in to purchase a drink for them both. Rhett would likely think to bring something to snack on, but he almost always forgot fluids. 

The woman behind the counter recognised him as well. “Link Neal! Where’s your buddy?”

“Oh, he’ll be along soon. If he were here, ya sure wouldn’t miss him! How’ve you been? Business going well?” 

“Oh, you know, can’t complain. No bugger listens even if I do.” 

They both laughed, as Link made his way around the store, selecting drinks for them both and grabbing some gum out of habit.

“Well, it was sure nice to see you again, Annie. Maybe we’ll get a chance to pop in again this afternoon.”

He looked back up the street as he exited the store and smiled broadly, watching Rhett peddling towards him awkwardly, waving with the enthusiasm of a kid, causing his bike to weave back and forth comically. Link’s brain superimposing thirty years of alternate versions of his best friend biking down this road over the years as the the other man advanced. Scrawny; all limbs and non-stop attitude, maturing into the wonder before him today.

Link stepped forward smiling as Rhett came to a stop by him laughing happily. He reached up to the straps on Rhett’s helmet and closed the buckle securely beneath his chin. 

“Man, it’s good to see you, Link.” Rhett smiled warmly at Link, keeping his hands gripping the handlebars to stop himself from reaching out and touching him, his knuckles white from the strain.

“It’s good to see you too.” said Link softly, smiling up at Rhett. “But, you’re not a rebellious misunderstood teen, old man. Protect your head.” his warm hands lingering on the clasp a moment, his fingers brushing against Rhett’s beard subtly, dropping to his hands on the handlebars, their eyes locking before Link stepped back, letting his hands fall to his sides; Rhett glancing quickly around them.

“It’s pretty quiet. I don’t think I’m gonna get knocked off my bike around here.”

“Perhaps not, but I don’t think I have the patience to wipe your butt and feed you through a tube for the rest of your life because you were being dumb. Any other reason, sure. But trying to make an idiotic fashion statement, no.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” replied Rhett grinning, “But, I think you worry too much.” 

“Just care is all. Don’t be stupid. People need you.” he muttered, as he moved back to his own bike, suddenly considering what he had said, and knowing it wouldn’t matter at all if Rhett ever became unable to care for himself how it happened. Link would be there, as he was sure Rhett would be for him.

Link put on his own helmet, remounting his bike and they were soon heading off, both pushing themselves and each other to the limit. Each trying to out do the other, as was their way. Link had the advantage of at least knowing where they were meant to be going, changing his mind whenever Rhett passed him, forcing the other to backtrack, only to then continue on the way Rhett had been heading much to the amusement of them both.

They finally made their way to their favourite trail through the woods alongside the river. The bike ride itself taking just over half an hour from the center of town to the beginning of the woods alongside the Cape Fear river. They had to get off their bikes fairly early on, pushing them through the thick underbrush, breathing heavily but smiling widely, until eventually leaving them altogether against a couple of trees and proceeding on foot.

Link stomped along the overgrown trail hoping to scare any snakes away from them as they progressed, reaching his hand back for Rhett to hold.

Rhett looked around at the surrounding trees for other people.

“I dunno if that’s a good idea, man.”

“Hold my damn hand ya wimp.” Link growled, not having any patience for Rhett's nervousness right now.

Rhett grinned and took his hand, squeezing quickly before relaxing his grip. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright. I know you’re scared someone’s gonna see.” 

“I ain’t scared.” Rhett said pulling on his arm firmly, causing Link to stumble back into him. 

Rhett turned him and kissed him as if to prove his point. His big hands holding Link’s face, caressing his cheek with his thumb as his lips moved gently against Link’s own, their bodies brushing against one another.

They came up for air a few moments later, both a little dazed and smiling. 

“Yeah, you are.” Link added before spinning and heading off again, his hand still firmly in Rhett's. 

Although he was teasing, he knew it was probably fundamentally true. And that it was true in his own heart as well if he really thought about it.

He stopped himself from thinking about that any deeper for now, instead focusing on the warmth of his best friends hand in his, slightly damp with sweat as was often the case, on the warm breeze meandering around the trees and the sunlight dancing on the leaves beneath their feet. 

The only sounds their own footsteps, the odd bird and the whisper of the river becoming louder as they moved closer. He was about to take a mental picture, when Rhett broke his train of thoughts.

“So, you gonna talk to me, Link?” 

“Yeah." Link looked up at the sunlight streaming through the trees, his thumb rubbing the back of Rhett’s hand in his. "I would wipe your butt for you if you got real hurt. No matter what or why. Every time, without complaint. I’d be honoured." 

"I know. Let's hope I never give you cause to have to.". He squeezed Link's hand feeling a lump in his throat. He didn't doubt Link's words for a moment. But he also knew that Link knew this wasn't what he had been wanting them to talk about. 

Rhett had learnt over the years it was always best to give Link something else to do or focus on if he wanted him to talk openly. Sitting staring at each other normally caused him to struggle to talk about difficult topics and more often than not become angry out of embarrassment, anxiety and stress.

“What happened at the party?” Rhett asked casually, keeping his tone as light as possible.

Link watched his feet as he picked his way carefully over fallen branches. “Uh, wasn’t really the party. Just been thinking is all. I guess. I wish sometimes, I could just dance with you when I want to.” he stopped and turned around, looking up at Rhett’s face, slightly red from their efforts, dropping his hand. Pushing them both roughly into his pockets. “It kinda messes with me that I can’t.” 

Rhett’s face showed compassion and concern, but he looked away as he started speaking, rubbing the back of his neck. “People think we’re fooling around already. It wouldn’t...”

“I know the rationale, Rhett.” Link cut in quickly, flicking his head to move the hair from his eyes. “We’ve been living it long enough. I said that I wish sometimes. Not that I would. Or I think we should. Just.” He sighed loudly, turned and started walking again, letting his hands swing freely by his sides to help his balance over the uneven ground. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I wish we could sometimes too.” Rhett said quickly, hoping Link wouldn’t shut down completely.

“Anyway. I think I just needed some time away from LA as well. That whole thing with Andy freaked me out.” Link continued, steering his comments away from his relationship with Rhett.

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a worry. But, I think it’ll be alright.” Rhett grabbed Link’s hand again, their fingers entwining this time, and moved alongside him now there was more room on the path, pulling him close so their bodies rubbed against one another from time to time.

“We should try and relax and have a good time today. We can worry about LA once we head back.” Rhett continued. 

“It better be soon I guess.” Link muttered looking down at his feet, being careful where he was stepping. “Tonight? Tomorrow?” 

“I think tomorrow’s soon enough. We deserve a break. Have you talked to Christy though?” 

“Yeah, I have. She’s pretty worried I think, but understood I needed a short break. We’re meant to be having a chat when I get home.” 

“Sounds ominous.”

“Well, I did randomly take off to another state, so kinda to be expected I guess. I think it’ll be alright. She didn’t sound angry. Just confused I think. Worried. She sure puts up with a lot of my crap.” 

Link grabbed Rhett’s arm with his free hand when he nearly tripped on an unseen rock. Rhett’s own hand covering his.

“You alright buddy?”

“Yeah, blind with my glasses on.” 

“Let’s go sit down by the river a while.” 

They continued on with purpose in their strides now veering towards the river, through the trees and off the path. Link throwing his pack onto the ground and removing his shirt and glasses as the water came into view, kicking off shoes and undoing the button on his jeans. Rhett looked at him incredulous.

“Are you going in?” 

“Yeah! Why not?” 

“It’ll be freezing is why not.” Rhett exclaimed.

Link stripped the remainder of his clothes off, moving to the bank and slipping carefully into the slow flowing river, unsure how it had changed since the last time they had been to this spot. He fought hard to not react to the extreme cold, shallow diving under the water before standing quickly, trying to catch his breath. The water only barely coming up to his waist “Holy hell!” he said gasping and laughing. “You’re ain’t wrong.” 

Rhett watched the water flowing from Link’s dark hair, down his slim muscular body, grinning despite himself. The slight wave in the water hinting at indecency every few seconds. Tantalising. Moments later Rhett was joining Link in the freezing water yelling loudly at the shock of it, even though he had known it was going to be cold.

After a lot of yelling and splashing they both settled down and lay on their backs, floating alongside one another having acclimatised somewhat to the cold temperatures, holding hands and letting themselves drift aimlessly, their free hands steering them if they started turning too far one way or the other, feet pointing downstream out of habit. Neither speaking, unable to hear anything over the rush of the water while their heads were semi submerged anyway. Link finally began standing, pulling Rhett up with him, wiping water out of his eyes.

“You know otters do that?” he said as he pushed his hair back on his head. Tilting his head left and right to try and get the water out of his ears. “They reckon they sleep holding hands so they don’t lose each other.”

“I’d do that if we suddenly woke up as otters one day.” Rhett said smiling. “Hold your hand tightly. Keep you anchored to me whenever you slept so you never got lost.” 

They waded towards each other smiling, almost shyly, holding one another tightly, their bodies melding against one another. Forgetting for a time they were both naked in a public river in the middle of the morning and Rhett was much too tall for any modesty. Link's body at least shielding him from view.

“Aw, you’re quite the sweetheart aren’t ya?” Link said smiling, wrapping his arm around Rhett’s shoulder pulling him down into a kiss, both sinking slowly back under the water.

“You’re beautiful Link Neal.” Rhett whispered, kissing his ear with chilled lips.

“So are you Rhett McLaughlin.” 

“I’m a lucky man.” Rhett said smiling.

“We are some kind of blessed, that’s for sure.” Link replied, pulling away from Rhett again, lying back in the water, closing his eyes to the bright sunlight and letting his mind wander as the water lapped at his body. 

Rhett’s hand found his again and they were soon floating uncaring if they were seen by anyone. The chances were very low this time of day, and along this part of the river.

A short time later they stood and headed towards the bank, the cold water finally getting to them too much to ignore. They realised they had come some way downstream.

“We should probably stay in the water rather than hiking buck nekkid through the trees.”

“Oh, screw that. I’m getting out.” Link said. “It’ll only take a coupla minutes to get back to our clothes. Besides which, the water ain’t covering nothin’ on you. Don’t be a chicken. I know the water was freezing. I won’t tease ya lil fella.” 

Rhett started laughing loudly pushing Link good-naturedly, before clambering up the bank in a less than dignified fashion. Completely unselfconscious in front of Link. He reached a hand down and helped Link out as well.

Link let his gaze slowly travel up Rhett’s body. “Still very impressive Mr McLaughlin.”

“Yeah,” said Rhett, feigning shyness, shuffling his feet, keeping his gaze on the ground. “I know.”

Both laughed softly, pushing one another half-heartedly, before taking each others hand and walking back to their gear.

They found their clothes a short time later and pulled underwear and jeans back on, but kept their shirts off hoping to dry out a bit more first, realising too late that it would have been better to keep their jeans off a while long too.

Link pulled a tartan picnic blanket out of his pack and lay it beneath the trees closest to the bank, lying down on the left side, his hands behind his head, his glasses back on his face, his hair swept off his head.

Rhett lay down beside him, his left hand resting on Link’s thigh. “This is nice, man. We hardly ever get time for just us anymore.”

“Yeah, I know. Always work. Or family. Or planning. Or filming.”

Rhett rolled towards Link, brushing some hair from the other man’s forehead. “I’ve missed this.” 

“Me too.” 

“How about we plan something. Just the two of us. For a few days. No family. No cameras. No work. No other friends. Just us. Would you like that?” Rhett asked, excited at the idea already.

“Uh, sure. I mean. It’ll be hard to find the time.”

“Hey we did today. Surely we can plan it reasonably easily. I’ll talk with Stevie when we get back.” 

“Well, alright. Sure. That’d be great.” Link took Rhett’s hand that was still playing with his hair and kissed the palm, before resting it on his chest.

“Should we get some food once we’re dry?” Link asked, his eyes closed. Knowing he could easily drift to sleep in the warm sun, Rhett’s body reassuringly present beside him.

“Yeah, that’d be nice. That swim made me hungry.” Rhett’s hand slowly caressed Link’s bare chest.

Link turned his head squinting at Rhett. His hand caressing the back of Rhett’s as it continued moving over his chest. “I want you.” he said quietly. “But, I don’t think I would be able to bike back into town if we did anything now. Could we. Uh. Get a room or something?” 

Rhett leaned over and kissed Link softly. Grinning widely “That sounds great. You dry now?” 

Link laughed. “No. Patience Rhett. We’ll leave shortly. Food first too. I need more energy for what I got in mind for you.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Rhett, causing them both to smile at one another. 

“Ok. That’s ok. But. You sure you not dry already?”

“Gosh, you’re like a teenager. All hormones and no common sense!” 

“Well, look at you! You’re damn near irresistible.” Rhett said smiling. 

Link winked at him. “Won’t be long, big man. You can have your wicked way shortly. Or I can.” 

Rhett pulled out his phone and started searching for a suitable place while waiting impatiently. 

He showed Link some pictures, reading out descriptions of key features. Link nodded, half listening, he really didn’t care what the place looked like, only that Rhett would be there. Finally deciding on a Quality Inn, 20 minute drive from Buies Creek and hopefully far enough from their old neighbourhood that they wouldn’t be recognised too much. 

Although there were plenty of free king rooms showing as available, Rhett called and booked a room with two double beds, stating he and his business partner would only be staying one night at the most, being in town for a business meeting this afternoon.

Link remained silent beside him, his stomach in tight knots listening to Rhett’s casual lies, and his own indifference to them. Well, partial indifference. This wasn’t the first or last time a “business meeting” somewhere required a room to be rented for a short time. But for some reason, now It seemed utterly justified and completely unacceptable to him at the same time.

Wanting to not think any further on that, he looked over at his prone best friend. The sun highlighting the blond in his hair and beard. His green eyes sparkling, shallow wrinkles around his eyes, smile lines as he spoke with the receptionist confidently. 

Link leant on his elbow to get a better look at Rhett. 

He ran his hand through his hair gently as Rhett continued speaking with the person on the phone. Feeling blessed he was allowed to do this. He let his hand caress Rhett’s chest, his fingers, still quite cold, sliding through the fine hair. But Rhett gave no indication it was too cold on his skin. Closing his eyes and lowering his head to kiss Rhett’s nipple with cold lips, letting his tongue flick across it, smiling at the hitch in Rhett’s breathing, the contrast of the wet heat of his tongue and the chill of his lips taking the other man’s breath away. 

He moved to kissing the center of his chest, continuing a trail of wet kisses towards the waist of his jeans, moving his body over him, while keeping his weight off with his arms either side of him, his knee between the other man’s legs, kissing and licking back up his torso to his neck, his back muscles rippling beneath Rhett’s hand, finally allowing the weight of his body to rest on him then. Kissing his neck, his tongue licking, lips sucking the damp skin, his hand running through Rhett’s hair while the other man tried to continue the conversation.

His body moving against the length of Rhett’s body, slowly warming in the sun after the freezing water. Kissing along his beard, nudging the phone out of the way with his head to press his lips silently against Rhett’s, before sliding down his body slightly, rubbing against him and resting his full weight against the other man’s, listening to his racing heart. 

He lifted his head after a few seconds, dragging his body against Rhett again as he moved up his body to whisper in Rhett’s ear, the air flow causing the other man to shiver beneath him as Link knew it would.

“I’m dry now.”


	7. Poison & Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link takes control for a while.
> 
> This chapter contains graphic descriptions of sexual acts. This is NSFW. Contains Dom Link / Sub Rhett aspects. Edging.

They peddled back towards Link’s family home to drop off the bikes and pick up Link’s rental car. They talked loudly as they traveled alongside one another down the road about topics they wouldn’t mind being overheard. Weaving with the carelessness of a long gone youth on the all but deserted roads. The occasional person calling out and waving to them. They’d pull over and have a quick chat with whoever it was, whether they knew them personally or not, posing for photos, signing something, or just chatting a short while and in this way it took them well over an hour to get back to Link’s Mom’s house.

They left both the bikes in the garage and went inside to drop off unneeded items and to grab the car keys. Sue was again out of the house much to the relief of both men. Link scrawled a quick note out of courtesy and they headed out to the car.

“Where do you wanna eat?” 

“How about we check in first and then eat. That might be the meeting.” 

“That’s a good idea.” Link said, starting the car before backing carefully out of the driveway.

Rhett found some music on the radio, and both sang along here and there. “I can’t believe we’re doing this?” he added.

“What part in particular?” 

“Just being here, now. You know. I wasn’t expecting it at all.” 

“I’m glad you came, even though I said I didn’t want you to.”

“I know, Link. I’m glad I did too.” 

Link tried to keep the conversation away from anything too heavy, or anything that would cause himself to become too thoughtful. He didn’t want to ruin anything about the time he could spend with Rhett today. There was time to talk later.

Part of him worried this might be the last time they could ever be like this. But he refused to dwell on that either. He glanced over at the man in the passenger seat, again blindsided by how attractive he was. He wondered suddenly, has he always look like this? Had Link become so used to Rhett beside him, that he didn’t really see him anymore? Was it his fear it might be over that was allowing him to see him clearly now? Always desiring what you can’t have more strongly? 

“Have you cut your hair or something?” he asked finally.

“Yeah, a little trim before I left L.A. And my beard.” He smiled over at Link, running his hand through his beard. ‘You don’t normally notice.” 

“You look good.” replied Link relieved that there might be a good reason Rhett was looking especially good that had nothing to do with anything being over. 

He reached across the middle console and took Rhett’s hand, holding it loosely, making sure he would be able to use his own hand on short notice for driving purposes if needed. Rhett gave his hand a small squeeze before relaxing again.

“You don’t normally hold my hand so much.” 

“Neither do you.” Link replied. “To be honest, I don’t think either of us normally think to even try. There’s always someone around. And when there’s not, it ain’t your hand I wanna be holding.” 

“Well, for whatever reason, I think it’s a pity. It’s really nice.” 

They looked over at one another again, smiling.

Link thinking in the back of his mind that Rhett was just humoring him, knowing Link was unhappy and was wanting to try and make things right. Maybe he thought being a bit more romantic would help. 

He stopped his mind analyzing that train of thought as well.

“You know how to get to this hotel?” 

“Oh yeah. It’s off the main road. You’ll recognize it when you see it. We used to drive by it when we were going to Mike’s from work.” 

And Rhett, as was often the case, was right. Link pulled into a free parking space and waited for Rhett to return from the reception. Although it was likely the staff would be aware it was both of them at the hotel, they didn’t feel the need to broadcast the fact.

That being said, Link made no attempt at disguising himself, or where he was going. Relying instead on the reception area not being in a clear line of sight of their car, or the room they had paid for. If he happened to be seen, it wouldn’t be at all unusual for them to be together. 

They both used the bathroom and made sure they were presentable and headed back out to find somewhere to eat. 

They sat beside each other in the booth. Link wanting to maintain physical contact as much as possible. Rhett rested his hand casually on Link's thigh under the table. He turned slightly to face the other man, watching him shredding a napkin into very small pieces. Dropping each piece into a larger napkin presumably to help tidy up when he'd finished. Rhett smiled. "What'd it ever do to you?"

Link looked up at Rhett quickly then back down to his hands. "Looked at me funny." 

"Well, it sure got what's for." 

"Well ya let one get away with it...." 

"I was really worried about you the other night.". 

"Hmm. Well. It was a kinda crazy night all round." 

"Are we gonna talk about this anymore?" 

"Yeah. Just later huh? I wanna just be with you and thinking can wait."

"OK. I can live with that." 

Both men leaned over the menu lying between them. 

“I think I’m just gonna grab a cheeseburger. Maybe a beer,” said Link as he glanced over the options.

“Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll have the same.” 

Link went up to the counter, ordered their meal and came back to the table, sliding into the booth across from Rhett now, to give them a bit more room to eat.

“So, how’s your Mom?”

“Ah, good. You know. Not much changes around here.” Link watches the foot traffic out the window. Hoping Rhett would change the topic.

“She wonder why you came home?” 

“Yeah. We can talk about it later. But, she’s fine.” 

“We’re starting to get quite a long list of talk about it later, brother.” 

The waiter arrived with their beers and told them their food wasn’t far away.

Both men smiled their thanks.

Link took a long drink before putting his glass back on the table.

“Was the flight alright?” 

“Yeah. Uneventful really. I managed to get some work done. I’ve got some ideas for some skits we could maybe do for Thursdays.”

“Cool, cool.” Link took another long drink, realizing over half was already gone.

“Can we talk about work for a minute? In particular Stevie’s conversation with me before I left?” 

“Ok.”

“She’s worried about you.” 

“I’m fine.”

“I know. But, she’s worried all the same. She’s open to us taking a break if we are able to work some overtime once we are back to catch up on filming. But couldn’t be longer than a half a week or so, so soon after our last hiatus.” 

“I don’t need time off right away. I think staying busy is probably a good thing. I’m just. I dunno.” 

He looked up at Rhett again, remembering Rhett’s suggestion of some time out down by the river wondering if the two conversations added up, but Rhett kept his eyes on Link’s hands, watching his fingers playing with his wedding ring. 

“Do you remember when we were kids…?” he began, deciding to not question Rhett on it for now.

“Yeah I could still reach the top shelf, and you couldn’t, til you were about 25.” 

“I don’t mean, do you remember when we were kids full stop. I hadn’t finished.”

Rhett smiled. “I know. I’m sorry, I was being facetious. When were you talking about in particular?” 

“When we were at Stacey’s party. And we had snuck out behind her parent’s shed.” 

A slow blush crept up Rhett’s neck.

“Yeah, I remember. Why you asking about that now?” 

“Just wondered, if you remembered.”

“I haven’t forgotten any time that I’ve kissed you, Link. You tasted like the chocolate icing from her birthday cake. I was so scared. And so excited. But…well, I have thought about that afternoon a lot of times over the years.” 

“Down at that house by my moms place. Do you remember that too? That other time we were...Why’d we be so mean to each other later?” 

Rhett cut him off not wanting to hear any more of what Link was saying.

“I guess I was scared what people would think of me. Of you.” Rhett looked out of the window, making his tone casual as he continued, “We were just kids man. What 12 or 13? It was a different time.” 

“Yeah, I guess it was.” 

Rhett reached across the table and brushed Link’s hand but didn’t hold it.

“Don’t think on stuff we can’t change, Link. We gotta focus on our future. On today. I’m sorry we were such dumb kids. You know, if I could go back, I’d change it.” 

“I don’t reckon we would, Rhett. We did the best we could I think. I dunno.” Link finished his beer. “I think I’ll get another. You want one?” 

“Yeah, alright. Thanks, man.” 

The rest of their lunch was uneventful for the most part, conversation flowing easily between them. Link focusing on keeping the tone light, and Rhett seeming happy to follow his lead.

Rhett decided to drive them back to the hotel, wanting to give Link a break. The shorter man leaned against the passenger door, his face pressed to the glass watching the clouds racing across the sky above them. Trying to see shapes, but only seeing legless, headless cartoon sheep.

“Do you ever think about moving back here?” he mumbled into the glass.

“Nah.” Rhett looked over at him. “Do you?”

“Hell no. I mean I love it. But, you know.” 

They both fell into a companionable silence for a short time.

“You look kinda sleepy now,” Rhett said, breaking the silence.

“Lulling you into a false sense of security.” Link said quietly, straightening in his seat.

“Oh?” 

“Ah huh.” he replied smiling slightly, keeping his eyes on the scenery out the window.

 

Once they were back in their hotel room, Link became quiet. Picking at the skin alongside his fingernails, looking over at Rhett who was sitting on the end of the bed, who was not fully aware of the change in the other man’s mood.

“So, uh. Do you remember what you told me before leaving the bathroom stall the other night?” 

“Yes.” replied Rhett, meeting Link’s gaze.

“So, have you? Come since? On your own or otherwise?” 

“No,” said Rhett standing and walking slowly towards Link, concern on his face. “I told you I’d wait.”

Link put out his hand. “Stay there.” He flicked his head to move the hair from his eyes, looking up at Rhett. A challenge on his face now. “I don’t suppose I can check that with Jess anyway, can I?” 

Rhett stopped in the middle of the room staring down at him, unsure if he should feel angry or scared. They had an unspoken rule of never discussing their wives in that manner. Or ever bringing them up in this type of setting. But Rhett let it pass for now, instead his worry for Link’s state of mind increased, “Why do you think I would lie to you?” he asked gently.

“We lie about everything else.” 

“I don’t lie to you, Link.” He reached out for him again.

“Don’t.” Link said taking a short step back before continuing softly “Are you still willing to wait to come until I’m inside you?” 

“Yes.” said Rhett slowly.

“I don’t feel like being very sweet,” said Link, with puppy dog eyes and a tilt to his head, but a cold edge to his voice. “Is that ok?”

“Yes, that’s ok.” 

“You remember your safe word?”

“Yes, I do.” 

“You gonna wait til I tell you that you can before you come?” 

“Yes.” said Rhett quietly.

“I want to make you beg Rhett. Would you like that?” asked Link, appraising Rhett clinically, his hands behind his back, head still tilted to the side.

“Yes.” replied Rhett, and meant it.

“Maybe I’ll let you come today. If you’re good and behave.” 

Rhett swallowed loudly, licking his lips. His mind playing out past scenes where Link had pushed him far into submission. 

“Take off your clothes.” Link commanded. His voice carrying an undertone of anger, or something close to it. Contempt?

Rhett swallowed again and watched Link closely as he began pulling off his t-shirt. Unsure of what was going on, but he was feeling nervous when he should be feeling only excited. He trusted Link implicitly. But, something felt weird to him.

“Are you angry with me Link?” he asked tentatively as he dropped his shirt on the floor.

“No.” Link looked over at the wall behind Rhett’s left shoulder before his eyes met Rhett’s again. “No, I’m not angry with you. Just. I’m not sure.” He said exhaling loudly. His hands clenching and relaxing at his sides. “I want you. I need this. I’m fine.” 

“I don’t know if you’re in a good space for us to play today,” Rhett said finally. “We could just…” 

“That is what your safe word is for.” Link coolly replied cutting off Rhett, his eyes flashing annoyance up at him. He walked over to the armchair against the far wall, and fell into it, his hands gripping the sides as he leaned forward. “If you want me to stop. Use it!” he all but snarled.

Rhett stood in the middle of the room, his hands by his sides, his mind running through his options. He knew it wasn’t safe for either of them to play like this, but safety wasn’t something that was high on his list of priorities. He knew that Link was struggling. He knew that Link needed a sense of control over his life at the moment when he felt like he was in free fall, and maybe he would find some solace in their playing today in this way. And, Rhett wanted to be taken. He loved when he could relax into Link’s quiet authority and obey. Knowing how much Link loved it when he did. That the other man would lead him through the intense experiences and they would come out the other side exhausted physically and emotionally, but closer than before. Maybe they both needed this today. But, of course, if things went wrong... 

Coming to a decision, choosing to trust himself and Link, he slipped off his shoes and kicked them to the side of the room out of the way, undoing his jeans, watching Link closely. Relieved at the small smile on the other man’s face as he watched Rhett’s progress.

“Good, Rhett. Thank you.” 

Rhett was standing completely naked within a few moments. His hands relaxed at his sides, knowing covering himself would upset Link, waiting for his next instruction.

“I never get tired of looking at you. You know that?” Link said quietly, his mood seeming to shift again subtly.

Rhett smiled shyly, and looked over at Link, still sprawled in the armchair. “Thank you. I like it when you do.” 

“Come here.”

Rhett began walking slowly towards the chair, his heart racing. Link gestured with his hand for him kneel and Rhett dropped to his hands and knees immediately. Crawling towards Link, maintaining eye contact.

“Good, Rhett. That’s good.” 

Rhett slowed even more once he was within arms reach of the chair. Link leaning forward to take his face in his hands, tilting his head back gently, kissing him deeply. Murmuring in his throat as he felt Rhett’s tongue flick against his own. His hands caressing Rhett’s beard as he sat back up slowly, pulling him with him.

“Ok, Rhett. Get up. I want you straddling me.” 

Rhett settled onto Link’s lap, their kiss barely needing to be broken during the maneuver, Rhett’s back arching against Link’s strong hands scratching down his back, already semi hard rubbing against Link’s jeans.

Link smiled, leaning back from their kiss. “You’re shameless you know that?” 

“Yes,” replied Rhett softly, leaning forward to try and kiss Link again. “I love this.” 

Link stopped him with a hand on his broad chest.

“Hmm, I know you do. Take off my glasses for me.” 

Rhett complied with practiced ease, placing them on the table beside the chair, pressing harder into Link’s groin.

“And my shirt. Take off my shirt for me.” 

Rhett reached down between them, taking the edge of his shirt and pulled it slowly up Link’s body and over his head, off his arms and let it fall to the floor beside the chair. Looking down at Link’s bare chest, licking his lips. His hands raising to touch him. He looked up at Link’s eyes that were watching him closely.

“May I?” 

“Yes.” 

Link leaned back heavily against the chair and watched Rhett’s hands move over his chest gently. The tingling warmth causing his eyes to close, a smile starting on his quivering lips. He opened his eyes again, and pulled Rhett back to him, kissing him again with more insistence. Rhett’s hips grinding into his lap.

“Would you like me to fuck you here?”

Rhett’s eyes flew open, surprised. “Yes!”

“Hmm.” 

Link reached between them, the back of his hand brushing against Rhett’s erection, hot against his skin, as he undid the button on his jeans, before moving both of his hands to Rhett’s hips. Moving the taller man easily against his own growing arousal.

“I’m not gonna do that,” said Link quietly. “Well, not yet, anyhow.” again his slow smile.

Rhett closed his eyes, his head dropping to his chest briefly before he looked back at Link, his hips still rocking in Link’s hands. “Of course. Whenever you want to.” 

“Maybe I’m gonna use you first.”

“Sir?” 

Link smiled. “Ah, I think you’ll like it. Get on the bed.” 

Rhett climbed onto the bed, and lay in the middle on his back, making no attempt to hide his arousal. 

“Is this ok?” he asked, watching Link move around the bed Link’s glasses back in place.

“Ah huh. Why don’t you touch yourself a bit for me.” 

Rhett did as he was told, stroking himself slowly, focusing on not becoming too excited. He knew from Link’s demeanor he was a long way from being permitted any kind of release.

“Faster.” Link said sternly, stopping at the foot of the bed watching him closely. 

Rhett’s dick jumped at Link’s commanding tone. A hundred times more thrilling to him than anything he could do with his own hand. 

“I want it to feel good for you right now Rhett. Otherwise, I may as well just hit you instead. Would you rather I do that? Spank you a while?” 

“No, sir. I, it does feel good. I just.” 

“I know. You’re trying to cheat, Rhett. You sure you wouldn’t rather some pain today? You know how you like that.”

"Mmmm, yes sir I do. But, No, sir. I want you to fuck me today, please. I was. Um. I was worried I might come when you’re not ready for me to.”

“You better fucking not.” 

Rhett flinched at Link’s growling tone. “Yes, Link. I know. I won’t. I promise.” 

“Good. Now touch yourself. Like you mean it.”

Rhett did as he was told, making no attempt to regulate the stimulation. His breathing becoming labored, sweat beginning to form along his hairline.

“Mmm. You look real good, Rhett. Stroking that big cock for me.”

Rhett moaned softly at the praise and attention Link was giving him. 

Link removed the rest of his clothes, grabbing the bottle of lube from the bedside cabinet. Popping the top with one hand as he straddled Rhett’s lower legs watching his hand moving, squeezing and twisting, precum flowing down his shaft. 

“Does it feel good, baby?” He asked as he tipped the bottle above Rhett’s cock.

“Oh, yes it does.” 

“Move your hand.” 

“What are you doing?” Rhett asked suddenly very worried. It would be a lot harder to not come if Link made him jerk off with lube coating his dick, but he obeyed immediately, his hands resting beside him.

“I’m making you nice and slippery. What’s it look like I’m doing?” He asked as he began squeezing the bottle gently, drizzling lube over Rhett’s erection, catching some stray drops before closing his hand around the other man, stroking him slowly, rubbing his right hand over him as well, before raising up onto his knees. He continued stroking Rhett, but reached behind himself, sliding his finger inside, preparing himself slowly.

“Link?” Rhett’s voice was very small, hardly heard above both of their breathing.

“I never said you could ask questions, but I feel like telling you. So.” Link moaned with a mix of pleasure and pain as his shoulder muscle tensed with the movement of his fingers in his ass. “I’m gonna fuck myself a while. You are not going to come. In fact, you’re not even gonna move. Unless I say so. And you will let me use you, and then you’re gonna beg me to fuck you so I might let you come.” 

“Oh.” Rhett’s breathing became even more erratic, genuine panic in his eyes, “ Link, I don’t know if…” 

“You will do as I say, Rhett.” Link moved further up Rhett’s body, leaning down and kissing him deeply. Continuing as he sat up slightly “Or you can say your safe word and I’ll stop straight away. I won’t be upset. But I will be if you come before I tell you it’s ok otherwise. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, I understand.” 

"Good boy." He kissed Rhett’s forehead before sitting up again slowly, moving down his body again, lining Rhett up, still stroking him, rubbing the tip alongside his fingers before slipping them out, and slowly lowering himself on Rhett’s cock.

Rhett lay as still as possible, his eyes transfixed on Link’s face as he worked at adjusting to the invasion. His breathing catching, his eyes rolling up to the ceiling, a primal groan being pushed out of him as he raised himself up slightly before falling down again, forcing more of Rhett into himself. Again and again. “God, Rhett. You feel. Oh. Wow.” 

Rhett’s hands clenching the blankets beneath him forcing himself to stay as still as he could, trying to not notice the glorious heat squeezing his cock, the vibrations flowing through Link’s body into Rhett’s own as Link trembled with the effort to take all of Rhett’s cock. Rhett took no care to keep quiet as Link fucked him slowly but focused hard on not coming.

“I like fucking myself with your dick.” Link’s said, his words slurring with passion. “It feels so good.” 

Link began moving faster, as his body adjusted to Rhett, wanting more of him. His glasses slipping down his nose as he began moving up and down in a fairly controlled and steady fashion. His breathing harsh, sweat in his own eyes now. “You’re so fucking big and hard.” Link continued, his hands resting on Rhett’s chest, his head falling forward to look into Rhett’s eyes, his hips rocking on him now, slowly. Teasing more and more pleasure from him. “Don’t you come now. I’m not done yet.” 

“Yes, Sir.” Rhett swallowed hard, fighting his every instinct to flip them over and thrust into Link as hard as he could until he came, over and over and who cares what the consequences would be. He needed to come, and he wanted to fuck his brains out.

But, he had to admit watching Link riding his cock with obvious bliss was something to behold and he really wanted Link to be pleased with him. 

Barely able to control his movements or breathing, Link began moving very slowly again, raising himself almost completely off of Rhett before slowly sliding back down. Moaning coming from deep in his chest every time he did, touching himself slowly. His head lolling about, his eyes remaining half-lidded, as his mind focused fully on the sensations of Rhett’s body joined with his.

“Hmm. How long do you think you could last with me doing this?” Link pulled his glasses off and flung them to the far side of the bed, looking down at Rhett struggling to obey.

“About another two minutes.” moaned Rhett, trying to catch his breath enough for speech.

“Ok. I want you to tell me when you’re gonna come.” 

Link’s hands moved to Rhett’s shoulders, leaning forward, and he began riding him seriously, fucking him hard and fast, moaning Rhett’s name, swearing and muttering, bouncing up and down on his cock.

“I just… I need to move, Link. Please, can I...ah… just a little bit, please?”

“No.” he replied between panting breaths.

“Ah, fuck. You’re gonna. You’re gonna. Make me come, Link. Please, can’t I just.” Rhett’s own words coming in broken sentences, hardly coherent anymore.

“No.” Said Link firmly, stopping moving, sitting up straight, to take some of the pressure off his right shoulder, the change in angle almost causing both men to come. “Oh shit,” said Link surprised, his hands on his thighs as he tried to stay upright and not lose his balance from his lightheadedness.

Rhett lay panting beneath him, sweat flowing into his eyes and over his skin. His hair wet and flat against his head aside from the parts Link had run his hands through. “Oh, my god, Link.” 

Link began moving again slowly, just rocking his hips, teasingly, feeling the other man getting very close to coming, growing bigger inside him.

“Hmm… you feel real good, Rhett.” 

Rhett grabbed Link’s thighs and stopped him moving, grinding into him unconsciously. “Please, stop. I’m gonna come. Please, don’t move at all. Just give me a sec. Please, I’m so close. Please, I wanna be good.” 

Rhett’s words tripping over one another in his panic that he was going to come.

They waited a few moments until Rhett’s hands slide from Link’s thighs indicating he was calm enough for Link to be able to move again.

“Good boy.” Link murmured, as he carefully removed himself from Rhett, and lay beside him, his arm across his stomach. Both men breathing heavily.

“That was fun.”

“That was fucking hot!” Rhett said, rolling towards Link. “I want you so bad.” 

“Do you now?” 

“I do yeah. I’m so close Link. Please?” 

“Hmm. Shortly. I wanna bathe you first.” 

“What?!” asked Rhett, breaking from his submissive character, suddenly sure Link was going to refuse him any release. “I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t mean that.” a genuinely shocked expression on his face. “Please, Link. I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to do that. You can do anything you would like. I...” 

“Don’t ruin it now, Rhett. You’ll be ok another few minutes or so.” He got off the bed and reached for the other man. “Come with me.” 

He started the shower running, Rhett was leaning his body against Link’s nakedness from behind. Desperate for physical contact of any kind. His hands rubbing down Link’s sides, up across his stomach and chest as he lowered his head to kiss his neck. Sucking on the tender skin. “Please, Link won’t you just fuck me first. It will only take a second?”

“No.” He tested the water with his left hand, reaching behind with his right and gripping Rhett’s length. Stroking him slowly. “I promise, it won’t be long. You’ve been very good for me. Now, get in.” he moved out of Rhett’s way so he could get under the water flow.

“Wet your hair too.” Link said, watching him carefully. Rhett’s erection showing no signs of diminishing. Link smiled and stepped into the tub. “Ok, move forward, towards me and slouch down a little bit for me. You’re too tall.” 

Rhett obeyed silently, his hands caressed Link’s body constantly while allowing Link to apply shampoo to his hair. Link let him stand up fully once the shampoo was partially applied. He ran his fingertips through his hair, giving him a scalp massage as he washed his best friends hair thoroughly, careful to keep the soap out of his eyes. He let his body rest against the taller man as he shampooed his hair.

“Ok, step back a little now. We’ll rinse this off.” 

Rhett again obeyed without comment, a low moan escaping as Link continued rinsing his hair, their bodies pressed to one another again, warm soap running between them. Link could still feel Rhett, hard and waiting, rubbing against his own erection.

He smiled again as he directed the water away from them both, taking the soap and washing Rhett from head to toe, taking his time. Loving the feeling of his body beneath his strong hands, all slippery and warm. Hard muscle, and softness in all the right places. Rhett moaning softly from time to time, telling Link that it was feeling good. That his hands felt wonderful on his skin. That he wanted him so bad, that he loved how he massaged his back and legs, his chest and cock. 

Link kept silent aside from giving Rhett directions of which way to turn and smiling at Rhett’s praise and increasing desperation for more. 

Unable to resist sliding soapy fingers inside him, fucking him hard and fast with his hand, bringing him to the edge within a few short minutes. Rhett bracing himself against the wall, begging Link to allow him to come.

"Not yet. But soon."

Link said and waited for Rhett’s breathing to ease and his muscles to relax some, and then he did the same thing again, three fingers this time, twisting in and out of him until he was close to tears, begging for Link to let him come. Again he was denied, Link removing his fingers, going back to washing another part of his Rhett’s body languidly.

He directed the water back over them both, rinsing the soap from Rhett’s body before kneeling in the bottom of the tub, taking him into his mouth, sucking on him gently, moaning around his girth, his hand stroking what he couldn’t take in his mouth.

Rhett leaned heavily on the shower wall, his hands holding Link’s head as he thrust slowly in time with Link’s movements, his breathing and moans loud in the small room echoing off the tiles.

As soon as Rhett came close again, Link stood slowly, kissing his way up Rhett’s body to his neck and beard, meeting Rhett’s passionate, uncoordinated kisses.

“Please, Link. Will you please fuck me? I need you so much. You’re driving me crazy.”

Link smiled and took his hand and guided him out of the tub, drying them both thoroughly before leading him to the bedroom, over to the dresser in front of the large mirror. He guided Rhett’s hand to the edge of the dresser and placed it palm down to rest on the surface, pressing firmly on the back of his hand.

“Stay.” 

He moved around him, taking his left hand and placing that one on the dresser as well causing Rhett to have to bend over.

“Stay.” again applying subtle pressure to Rhett’s hand before releasing it.

He walked over to the bed and came back with the lube.

“I’m gonna fuck you, Rhett. And, you’re gonna watch me do it.” 

Rhett watched Link’s reflection applying lube to himself, smiling at him as he touched himself.

“You look so good, Sir.”

Link smiled quickly, before continuing “Ok, you can let go of the dresser for a minute. I want you to hold yourself open for me. I wanna watch you fuck yourself a little bit. Gimmie your hand.”

Rhett gave his hand, and Link applied a generous amount of lube to his middle and forefinger. He watched Rhett hold himself with one hand, and slide his fingers slowly into his ass, groaning loudly, his knees buckling slightly.

“Oh, fuck.” Rhett watched Link watching him in the mirror, the expression on Link’s face almost enough to send him over the edge.

“That looks good, Rhett. Deeper..,” He began kneading Rhett’s ass, massaging and squeezing him, watching his fingers moving in and out of his hole.

“Hmm, that’s good. Well done. You’ve been so good Rhett.” 

“Thank you, Link. Will you please fuck me know? Please. Your dick looks so good. I can’t wait until you’re inside me.”

Link removed Rhett’s hand and rubbed his cock along the crevice, before pushing the head of his cock against him at last, firm steady pressure until Rhett relaxed enough for him to slide in a little. He stopped, massaging Rhett’s lower back and ass waiting for the other man to adjust. Rhett swore loudly, gripping the dresser without being told he should be again, but needing the leverage and balance. 

“Oh, my god. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how big you feel.” 

“I bet you say that to all the boys,” growled Link low as he moved slightly. Slowly back and forth. 

Rhett rocking with him, the movement getting longer as time went on, taking more and more of him, watching Rhett’s reflection closely. His face flushed with desire, his eyes squeezing shut, his mouth open as he tried to get enough oxygen. Link glanced at himself, his expression one of cool confidence. He loved seeing Rhett so undone. He kept his thrusts shallow, allowing Rhett to control the longer, deeper strokes while he adjusted.

“You. You. Feel so good.”

“Hmm. It feels good to be fucking you again. I don’t know why I waited so long.”

Rhett smiled at Link’s reflection, pushing back onto him hard.

Link raised his eyebrow, “Oh, you think you’re ready?” 

“Please. Yes. Fuck me.”

Link began moving faster, thrusting into him with long deep movements, holding Rhett’s hips, guiding him over his cock, closing his eyes, focusing fully on the feeling of Rhett squeezing him. He had been denying his own release as well.

He stopped moving after a long while, waiting for Rhett to look up at him.

“Fuck yourself.”

Rhett groaned loudly, pushing himself back onto Link again and again. “Oh. Oooh. You feel so good.” 

“Watch yourself. Can you see how good you’re making me feel with that tight ass of yours?

Rhett looked at his reflection, seeing the naked need in his eyes, but he didn’t care. He watched his body move without a lot of conscious thought from himself, seeking as much contact as possible with Link and he loved it.

Nearly screaming aloud when he felt Link begin to move with him again, increasing the intensity tenfold. His left hand clamped firmly on Rhett's right shoulder for leverage as he drove into him.

Link slowed, and pulled out after a few minutes, taking Rhett’s hand again and leading him to the bed quickly, laying down and pulling Rhett on top of him. Rhett lowering himself on Link again easily, the new angle making his eyes roll. He moved with Link, keeping his weight off of him so Link could move fairly freely beneath him, pounding into him, his arms wrapped around his waist as Rhett matched his movements.

“Oh, Fuck me, Link. Please. I wanna come so bad.”

Link moved his arms up Rhett’s back, pulling Rhett’s upper body against his firmly, rolling them both fairly effortlessly, keeping his cock buried inside Rhett, moving Rhett’s ankles to his shoulders, supporting himself on his arms his shoulder pain forgotten for a time, before thrusting into him hard and fast, both men completely lost to the sensations and their need.

“Ok. Rhett. I’m gonna.” Link managed between thrusts

“Yes. Please. I want you to come inside me. Please, sir.” 

“You ready, Rhett? I’m gonna let you soon.” 

“Yes. Oh. Please. Yes.” 

Link felt his own orgasm rushing over his body, he yelled Rhett’s name, “Oh, fuck Rhett, I’m. Oh, my fuck. Come for me now.” he only just managed to vocalize. Link feeling Rhett’s hot come hitting his stomach and chest as he continued pumping into him, wave after wave of pleasure washing over them both, before they finally fell in a heap of tangled limbs and breathless hoarse whispers.

“Oh, wow. Link. That was amazing.” 

“Sshhh.” Link murmured, turning and kissing Rhett deeply. “Beautiful beautiful man.” his hand tangled in his hair, their bodies moving against one another passionately despite their release. 

"I love how you fuck me " Rhett murmured into his neck as his kissed and licked him there, holding him tightly against his body. “You make me feel whole again for a while.” 

“Do you now?” Link asked softly.

Their movements slowing over time, kissing becoming more intermittent, hands still caressing one another aimlessly. 

Link closed his eyes, his arm around Rhett’s shoulder, the other man’s head on his chest, his arm across his stomach. Link kissed his forehead, holding the hand resting on his hip.

“I think I’m falling asleep, Rhett.” 

Rhett turned his head and kissed Link’s chest before resting again to listen to his strong and steady heartbeat, “Good. I’ll hold your hand so you don’t get lost.” he murmured, feeling Link’s smile against his hair. “It’s my turn to take care of you.”


	8. Rolling in the Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link tells Rhett his truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Homophobic language.

Rhett woke slowly to the sensation of lips kissing his neck and earlobe, a large warm hand running across his chest, whispered words in his ear.

“You know... I’ve always loved you.” 

“Link?” he asks sleepily, trying to sit up a little so he can see the smaller man.

“I, I love you.” he replied simply. Searching the other man’s face, seeing decades of memories cascading over his features.

“Yeah, I know. I love you too.” Rhett replied feeling awkward and embarrassed even after all these years. 

They almost never said it aloud. And even more rarely when in bed. But he held Link close to him and hoped that Link would feel his love even if the words sounded strange to his own ears. 

“That ain’t nothing to be sorry about.” he continued and he meant it.

Link kissed him deeply, lying on top of him, his arms sliding under Rhett, squeezing between his body and the bed, trying to hug him closer. Rhett moaned into his mouth, running his hands over the other man’s back and shoulders. “I like waking up with you.”

Link smiled gently. “Hmm, me too. But, we better hit the road.” 

“Do we have to?” 

“Well,” Link rolled onto his back, reaching for his phone on the bedside table. “It’s nearly 7 pm. We should probably make some attempt to spend time with our parents if we’re planning on leaving tomorrow.” 

“Just another hour. I wanna hold you a while. That was. Intense.” 

“If we stay here, I’m just gonna seduce you again.” Link said because he wasn’t ready to talk and anyone who was laying beside this man would have said the same thing.

“Well, that decides that then.” replied Rhett smiling, reaching for him again. “Come ‘ere, Linkster.” 

Link lay resting his head on Rhett’s shoulder some time later his breathing slowly returning to normal. His mind comfortably numb as his body thrummed with bliss. Rhett’s hands warm and gentle on his skin now their passion had subsided again to the normal simmering awareness of the other’s proximity. 

“I think we should probably talk before we head back to L.A” Link started hesitantly, not lifting his head.

“Hmm. I was waiting for when you would. I’m not sure I want you to now.” replied Rhett softly into Link’s hair. “It was really nice just now.”

“Me either, but I guess I gotta.” 

“Well, alright. I’m all ears.” 

“Don’t sell yourself short, boy. You’re a lot more than that.” replied Link automatically. 

Rhett continued running his hands over the other man’s back, waiting patiently.

“Maybe tomorrow would be better?”

“Let’s just get it out the way huh?” Rhett almost added it can’t be that bad, but he felt that it was going to be worse. 

There had been a sense of finality in some of Link’s kisses. His hands too lingering. An undercurrent of gentleness during their earlier scene, despite the intensity, that Link normally avoided when they were in those roles. Like he was mentally recording every breath. Rhett had been, but he always did.

“The truth is, Rhett. I uh. I am not sure if I can keep doing this.” 

Rhett’s hand stopped moving, but he otherwise gave no indication he had heard. Link swallowed, keeping his own hand on Rhett’s chest still now too. “I, I can’t love you like this. It’s...” 

“What are you talking about? Of course you love me.” Rhett sat up suddenly, spilling Link onto the bed beside him, the sheet falling around his naked hips. “What are you talking about?” he asked again, his voice wavering.

Link lay staring at the ceiling blinking fast, trying to slow his thoughts into a logical order. 

“Of course I love you, Rhett. With all I have.” he turned his head, risking looking at the first lover he had ever had. “I’m not explaining myself very well.” 

“Well christ, Link. Please try. You’re killing me over here. What are you saying?” 

“I nearly told my Mom about you and me.”

“What?”

Rhett’s anger surprised Link into rushing on, “Well, not specifically you, only that…” 

“If you had, you woulda been able to go straight back the next day and let her know that it was finished.” stated Rhett, shifting further up the bed to rest his back against the headboard and to distance himself more from Link, folding his arms across his chest.

Link remained quiet a moment, letting Rhett’s words sink in, and then put them aside. That was a tangent that he didn’t need to let them follow right now. And he definitely didn’t want to think about it. Ever.

“Well, needless to say, I didn’t. I managed to redirect the conversation, but…” 

“How do you even get into that conversation?” Rhett interrupted again.

“Rhett. I started this all wrong, so now you’re on the defensive, but…”

“I mean, was it just over a cuppa coffee and cake, oh by the way Mom, I’m cheating on my wife with my old buddy Rhett? In fact, last year, Mom, I fucked him in your car, twice.” 

Link again ignored Rhett’s comment and pressed on. 

“But. Will you stop talking over me and let me finish, at least my sentence before interrupting me with kinda nasty comments. I’m doing my best, Rhett. We started this conversation with, I love you, remember? We were making love 15 minutes ago. So, will you please try at least to remember that and keep quiet until I am finished talking, and listen when I am?” 

Rhett kept quiet now and looked down at Link’s dark hair surrounding the face he couldn’t look at yet. He clenched his jaw, nodding for the other man to continue.

“Thank you.” Link was suddenly speechless again. How could he ever put into a words a lifetime of pain without hurting Rhett? 

He reached for his glasses, and then withdrew his hand, leaving them on the bedside table. He knew Rhett felt closest to him when he was not wearing them. They had enough barriers without him hiding behind that one at the moment.

“We have never talked... about so many things that we should have.” 

“I’m listening.” 

“I have spent my entire life afraid. Ashamed. I am living a life now that isn’t who I am. Who I want to be. I don’t know how to love you without hating me, and kinda hating you too. Because I am trapped in this mess.” 

“Link, I know things are complicated…” Link’s pained tone, calming the other man from his anger for a time.

“Just, listen.” he said quietly, defeated now that he had started, knowing he was not going to be able to stop until it was all said. 

Both men fell silent again before Link continued. 

“Some days I look in the mirror and I want to throw up. I wanna scream at everyone I come in contact with, I want to start fights with you, with Christy. With my parents, children. Work. Everyone. Nothing is fair! I am so fucking sick of feeling ashamed. Being judged by my own mind for something no one even knows about and for being loved because of the things no one knows about.” 

“Link, you can’t tell Christy about us. It would…” 

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do with my wife, Rhett. You got no right. Regardless. Besides, I am not talking about our affair at the moment anyway. Not directly.” 

“What is it then?” Rhett sat forward, looking down at Link’s strained expression.

“You think, that I love Christy because she’s her wonderful self and a beautiful woman. Which is true. And you think that I love you because you are Rhett. My best friend. The first person I “experimented” with.” He raises his hands, inserting wavering air quotes, “That I am into what we do because you are you. And love transcends gender. Which it does, or can. But, that isn’t my truth.”

Both men avoided looking at one another. Visualising the rock they used to sit on. One speaking, the other listening, only able to ask pertinent questions.

“And I could never ever tell you ” Link continued, with hardly any pauses between sentences, now he had started, “because every single time we are together, even now, and I see you later in the day, or the following day or whatever, I am waiting to see that expression of disgust and shame in your eyes that mirrored my own back in college. The fear that if I am ever completely honest with you about who I am, how I feel, you would look down on me. Think less of me. And of yourself by being with me.” 

“What are you talking about? Link, that was years ago when we were kids. Sheltered kids at that. Sure, I was ashamed of what I had done with you. For a long time I guess. But, so were you! And, I’m not today, lying here with you now. I love you, Link. Putting aside the ethical argument of monogamy, I am not ashamed for loving you. You’re my best friend. The fact you’re a man is not why I love you. It’s you. Why should I be ashamed of that?” 

“But, that is what I am trying to tell you, Rhett. You being a man is not a thing I deal with because I’m in love with you. It’s not like some kinda aspect I had to get over or look past. I didn’t first have sex with you because I was in love with you. Not that I didn’t love you… but my main reason for wanting to have sex with you was because every part of me was drawn to every part of you. I didn’t do things with you to practice for girls. Or because my hormones were in overdrive and you were available. You weren’t an acquired taste I learned to crave. I always wanted you, exactly as you are.”

“Well, I mean,” Rhett started, “I’m obviously sexually attracted to you, too. I woulda thought that was obvious? I don’t really think it’s a big deal, man.”

“Have you ever fantasized about other men? Anyone who doesn’t identify as a woman for that matter, besides me?” 

“No. I don’t think I have. But, that doesn’t mean I’m not totally into you.” 

“I know, Rhett. I am not worried about your level of attraction to me. Or why. I’m trying to talk about my sexual orientation. That everyone, even you assume is straight with maybe a little lean to the right if that is the side of me you are sitting on. And I let you think it. Because, I’ve always been teased and criticised for not being man enough. Even by you, to man up. To be tough and stop being a sissy.” 

Link’s voice caught as Rhett took his hand, before continuing. 

“I don’t even know what the word is for what I’m attracted to. I’m not saying I am gay because I am sexually attracted to my wife, without any effort. It’s... perfect. Different, but perfect. But. I’m not straight. But, I dunno that bi really covers it either.’” 

Link looks up at the ceiling unseeing. A parade of memories from his childhood and teen years marching by to taunt him, as he forced himself to speak at last. 

“You know. I felt like such a freak when I was a kid. Checking out anyone with a pulse and a nice smile, or a kind word for me. Now, don’t get me wrong. Or be an idiot. I love Christy. And you. And I’ve been faithful, uh, to you both, when I was meant to be. And I have no desire to have sex with anyone else. Don’t even notice if anyone else is sexually appealing, but I know that I could. If I was looking.”

Realising Rhett was going to remain quiet during this outpouring Link continued quickly. His heart racing, his mind cringing at the truth echoing around the hotel room.

“I am sick of the shame and fear and feeling less of a person, of a man because I can’t just be me. And I have wanted to tell you our whole lives. Definitely after we started sleeping together again. Because I am so tired of this fear that you will always be ashamed of us. That if you knew that I am not straight, that would only make it more shameful to you.”

“That would kinda make me a hypocrite wouldn’t it? I mean, yeah I think I am mostly straight, but I am obviously not completely. Your body turns me on. I love what we do, how we do it. That I don’t do some of those things with anyone else.” 

“How can I ever not feel ashamed of myself, and of us when I can never be honest.”

“Well, you can be honest to me.” Rhett replied somewhat automatically. Feeling his own honesty surfacing the longer Link spoke the thoughts they had left unsaid for years.

“Thank you, Rhett. I appreciate you saying that,” said Link softly, squeezing Rhett’s hand that was still in his. “But, I’m not sure if that’s enough. I don’t think either of us are ever going to stop feeling ashamed. I mean, you tell me you are not ashamed laying here with me now...but later?” 

“Not ashamed exactly.” Rhett was silent a few moments thinking over what Link was saying, deciding that he deserved his own whole truth and not a placating sentiment. “Maybe, I am a bit uncomfortable at being into sex with you. Even after all these years. And all we have done, and how great it is. Not in the moment. I need you. Want you so bad, so often. But. Yeah. I guess part of me is kinda..” he looked down at Link, finally meeting the others gaze. “Uh, kinda glad I am married, so I can keep us a secret and have a valid reason. I love how you love me and let me love you… but… yeah. I guess. I’m glad I got a reason to keep that to myself. Or just between us.” 

Link blinked slowly, sadness in his smile. “Yeah, Rhett. I know. And, I don’t blame you.” he took a deep shuddering breath refusing to cry. 

“I do want to be able to tell Christy, this aspect of me. Which would likely result in a rather long stressful time. Because it’s gotta be worrying if your husband suddenly tells you he’s bi. Or whatever the correct term is. But, then. I can’t even do that. Because you. The only reason we have got away with it this long is our wives believe that we are both straight, or at least too southern for any alternative. So, I can’t even “come out” or whatever the young people are doing these days.” 

Both men laugh quietly as more of a hysterical response than thinking it was actually funny at all.

“Because then the spotlight will be on us. And, so I kinda hate you sometimes too. And. I don’t even know that I’m strong enough to stand up to the belittling comments and bullshit. I mean…” Link rolled and grabbed his glasses from the nightstand and put them on, sitting up cross-legged, keeping the sheet over his lower body but turning on the bed so he was adjacent to Rhett and could look at him. “Have you seen the comments already everywhere? Even some of the crap that comes out of your mouth. Which I know is said in jest, in your case. The amount of teasing I get from even our staff. It’s all in good fun, but, it’s not easy to smile through right now. And...” 

“Come here, man.” Rhett pulls him into his arms, holding him tightly, knocking Link’s glasses askew. “I love you, Link. And you’re the strongest man I know. You are perfect just as you are.” 

Link remained in his arms, letting his tears flow silently, trying to draw as much strength and love from the other man while he still had the chance.

“You don’t get it, man. I’m the one that’s afraid, Link. You are perfect just as you are. I wish I could be stronger for you.” 

He sat back slowly, fixing his glasses and spun his wedding ring, watching his fingers, unable to meet Rhett’s gaze.

“You know, at the party. I kinda thought my biggest problem. Or the thing that was screwing me up the most was having to be distant from you in public. Not being able to hold your hand. Or dance with you. Or just relax in your company when other people are around." 

His words continued on, spilling all of his thoughts out into the room. Wanting to shut up, but unable to.

"It’s like having some kinda personality disorder. Our relationship is so messed up. The business Rhett & Link, the family men, the best friends who are bizarrely close and the secret lovers who can’t even say I love you out loud without getting squeamish, and never the twain shall meet. And I’m tired of having to flick back an’ forth between being allowed to hold your hand, and having to shove you away if you joke about something publicly. It just feeds the shame even more. I thought I was jealous of normal couples at the party and ashamed of needing you so bad I let us potentially destroy our lives in a public bathroom. But, it’s all that and so much more.

We used to make me happy. But, now it’s all just kinda wanting more. Unrequited all over again, even though I get to have you sometimes. Kind of. With rules. And there’s no end to any of it. No matter what I do, or you do. It’s just never gonna be right.” 

“I don’t know what to say to that, man.”

“Ain’t nothing to say I guess.” Link got off the bed and searched the floor for his clothes.

“So, you don’t want to be with me anymore like this?” 

“Of course I want to. But, I don’t know what to do anymore, Rhett. I feel like I’m going crazy.” 

“And you wanna tell the people that matter to you that you’re not straight?” 

“What I really want is to not feel ashamed of myself anymore. And maybe part of that would be telling Christy. Maybe my Mom and Dad.” 

Rhett sat looking down at the bed, his long legs outlined by the crisp white sheet. His jaw clenching rhythmically, unaware he was doing it. 

“You’re the only thing that got me through, Link.”

Link stopped fussing with his clothes and looked over to Rhett.

“You know when I was growing up. Trying to figure me out and stuff. You were the only person who let me be me. Even the version of me I pretended to be around you. Tough and full of it. And I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. In every way, I’ve loved you. And been so thankful.” 

“I know, man.”

“But…” 

Link pulled his t-shirt over his head and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling on his sock. Stopping when the word finally sunk in. He twisted on the bed to look at Rhett, his heart suddenly too big for his chest.

“But, you gotta keep quiet about this. You can’t tell Christy anything. Or your Mom. You don’t get it, man. There is no way that people won’t figure out that we’re together. Or have been. And, you can’t do that. You can’t, man.” 

“Rhett…” 

“No! Link. Listen. Ok. I listened to you. And, I am sorry you have felt so shit all your life. I mean, I know how that feels, man, and it’s ...well, shit. And I am sorry that I can’t be your partner in the ways you want, however that would even remotely work, I dunno. But, I am not ready, or willing to be questioned about this. I don’t know if I will ever be. It is fine for the comments, and the whispers. But right now, I am safe. And so are you.” 

“I wouldn’t say anything about you.”

“Link! You said it yourself. Of course, people are gonna figure it out. I mean look at us for fuck sake. The only reason we get away with any of it is because we are straight married men. We both have to stay that. Or we are both no longer seen as that. And you got no right. You can’t drag me into the limelight with you just because you’re having some crisis and wanna be some kind of authentic new age dude.” 

“Don’t fucking belittle what I am telling you, Rhett. I've waited my whole life to say it out loud." 

He could feel a permanent rift open between them. Not an enormous or insurmountable one. But one they would never be able to fill it again. 

"And you can’t expect me to do that. You can’t make me live in silence because of your fear. I have enough shame of my own without carrying yours for the rest of my life too. I can’t help if you would get difficult questions for choosing to hang around me all this time. Don’t you see this is the whole thing I was saying?” 

“So what? You want a gold star for being right? Of course you are fucking right! You grew up with me for God’s sake! You know how it was. And you know how your wife, and then mine, is going to react. And how exactly are you going to lie to Christy when she asks you point blank if we have ever so much as kissed one another in all the years we have known each other? You’re gonna tell her you’re into men, and she’s gonna ask how long we have been fucking for? We have made a big deal outta how close we are, have said multiple times that we love one another. That we made an oath. God.”

Link grabbed his other sock and started pulling it on. He felt like he was going to explode. All the rooms in his mind swiftly moving everything into the right boxes and slamming the doors closed. His mind slowly emptying of any detectable emotion.

“I can’t promise you anything, Rhett. And I think that you love me enough to not actually expect me to. And, although yeah, there would be further suspicion on us, a hell of a lot probably, me being bi or whatever the fuck, does not make you gay by association. Lot’s of guys are friends with gay men without sleeping with them.” 

“God, you are such an asshole, Link. You wanna go join the next pride march, fine, but you got no right to be dragging me with you. You always do this! Decide something and ignore the repercussions of everyone around you. Especially me.” 

Link remained silent, tieing his shoes before standing and straightening his hair, looking at Rhett, willing him to look back at him, but the other man kept his gaze on his own lap.

“I’m going back to Mom’s for tonight. It’s late now. I need to spend some time with her, so will head back to L.A day after tomorrow. You need a lift anywhere right now?” 

“No. I’ll get a cab or stay here.”

Link turned and walked towards the door, trying to keep his breathing steady and continued clearing his mind. He was on the verge of completely losing it. His mental health tottering, waiting for one more tiny nudge.

Rhett jumped from the bed quickly, came up behind him and held him tightly to his naked body. “I am sorry for calling you an asshole. You’re not. I love you. I do. I always will.”

“I know, Rhett. I’ll see ya round.” his own hands closing over Rhett;s forearms that crossed his chest. Taking one of his hands and kissing it gently, before walking from his arms down to the carpark.

He drove through the dark streets back to Buies Creek wondering if his Mom would still be up. Hoping that she wouldn’t be. He wasn’t sure he could handle that at all.

His mind played over their lovemaking of the afternoon. How could they go from that. That level of trust, to this? In a matter of a few sentences. 

His phone lit up indicating a text or call. He left it on the seat beside him, not wanting to know what it said or who it was from. He drove the rest of the way actively ignoring every vibration of his phone in the passenger seat, finally grabbing it and throwing it into the back seat. It solved nothing. The vibrations still buzzing loud enough to drive him that little bit closer to the edge.

He sped through the last quarter of the trip, needing to be done with driving. Having to get out of the car. He came around the corner into his Mom’s street, slamming on the brakes, veering into her driveway barely missing the side fence with his foot pushing the brake pedal to the floor as hard as he can, his hands gripping the steering wheel, stopping mere inches from the back of her car, his heart in his throat, a broad grin on his face. He got out of the car, shaking and laughing a little manically.

“Wowsers. It don’t handle like the minivan that’s for sure.” he muttered to himself, which was fortunate for him and his mother’s car.

He started up the path towards the house before turning quickly, remembering his phone in the back seat. The notification light illuminating the back window like an old school alarm system. He considered leaving it where it was, but finally grabbed it and shoved it into the front of his jeans.

He crawled into bed, fully clothed, aside from his shoes and socks. Feeling too stressed and vulnerable to remove any more layers of clothing. He remembered his phone only when it vibrated against his thigh again. He looked up towards the ceiling seeing very little in the dim lighting. Asking the universe what he should do.

He pulled it from his pocket and swiped the screen. 7 unread messages, 2 missed calls.

The calls had come first, no voice mail. The first two SMS messages requesting Link answer his phone. The third telling him he was being childish and hurtful not giving Rhett the space to speak.

The fourth: Link. I think you are right. I think we need some time out from us. I can’t be a part of what you’re doing right now.

Fifth: Maybe could you delete these messages once you’ve read them.

Sixth: Don’t worry about it. Ignore my last message. That was dumb. I’m sorry. Do what you want with my messages.

Seventh: I’m gonna head back to L.A tomorrow. We’ve been away too long already. I’ll let you know my flight and stuff. Let me know yours and I’ll meet you at the airport in LA. 

Link stared at the screen, the words moving in and out of focus as his mind tried to process his thoughts. He let himself feel a tiny part of what was coursing through him and began shaking uncontrollably, his body wired, anxious beyond anything he had felt before, an abyss of empty calling to him, pulling him towards, what? 

He lay shuddering, rolling onto his side, pulling his legs up to his chest, trying to get as small as possible and tried with all he had to close his mind from the pain and loss. Trying to hold his legs tightly to his body with his arms to stop the shaking at least. 

He had done this. It was his fault. He should have kept quiet. How else did he think it would go? 

His mind and body would not stop. He got out of bed again. Stumbled into his shoes and socks, barely able to control his hands enough for the task, and left the house as quietly as he could. Again, turning away from the town, and began running. His heart pounding before he had even started, his breathing unsteady. His body literally shaking, barely controllable. His mind screaming NO. over and over. 

He wondered if he was going to have a heart attack. A large part of him hoped that he would. 

He might get some rest. 

He might wake up and the past three days would have never happened. 

He could wake up and the last thirty-two years might not have happened yet. 

He could be sitting at his desk, swinging his legs obliviously, looking over at the oddly tall and gangly kid who kept looking back at him with beautiful green eyes and a wonky smile, a tiny freckle on his top lip and taken the only chance he’d ever had to look away.

So he ran as fast as he possibly could for as long as he could and then stopped and screamed into the night air; “Fuuuuuuuuuck. Fuck. I’m sorry.” 

He fell to his knees whimpering quietly, “I love you. Don’t leave me. Don’t. I’m sorry. Please. Rhett. Please.” before screaming again, “I won’t tell. I won’t. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I won’t tell nobody, I won’t tell nobody. I won’t….” and on and on cycling through until his voice is gone. 

And nobody heard, and nobody came after him, and no one carried him back home. And no one told him where home was.

Eventually, he stood up and began the long walk back. Because what else was he going to do? His mind empty. His body going through the motions of life support and mobilising him slowly onward. His eyes closing from time to time as he continued on, one foot in front of the other. His throat burning. His shoulder for some strange reason completely pain-free. Stumbling occasionally, but not falling. His heart pounding, but not stopping.

Hours ticked by as he made his way back in this way, finally falling into bed and into a troubled sleep close to dawn. His phone remaining silent and dark beside his pillow.


	9. Boys In The Street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link visits his father.
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings: Homophobic language, physical violence. Psychological abuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although this fic is based on persons portrayed online, this is a work of fiction, and I do not intend to imply anyone would behave the in ways depicted in this fiction.

After a short and troubled sleep, and no word from Rhett, Link stood at the end of the long driveway having parked his car out on the road. He wanted the time it would take to get to the door to give him a chance to settle his nerves and find his resolve.

He glanced around the property as he walked slowly along the uneven path, his boots crunching through the gravel, overhearing dogs barking from the kennels behind the house as he drew closer.

He was wearing his work boots instead of his usual mythical shoes, some old jeans and a dark shirt, top button undone, sleeves rolled. Hoping he would at least look a little bit like a version of Link his father would want to see. 

The air was clear and clean, a slight breeze pushing the leaves around on the trees that lined the driveway and his hair, starting to get a little longer than he liked, into his eyes. He made a mental note to do something about it when he was back home, constantly pushing it back into place in the meantime, his hand shaking a little.

The house itself was looking the same as it always had. Structurally run down, with a perfect paint job. He remembered helping his father paint it the time before last. With the green trim, not the maroon it now had. During one long depressing summer. Hating every moment of it. Not the work. But feeling that every other moment he was doing something wrong. Constantly letting his father down. 

One of his most vivid memories of his adult relationship with his father was of him standing in the front yard crying and feeling small one afternoon when his father had lost his temper with him for the third time that day. A grown man. Married for goodness sake, a home of his own. His own child on the way. And his Dad had still made him cry without even hardly trying.

He blinks the thought away and averts his eyes from the patch of grass where he had stood all those years ago crying, wishing he could’ve been anywhere but there. Hating himself for every tear that fell.

He wished he could tell that young man that it was ok to cry. That there are many things to be ashamed of, but that isn’t one of them. He was nearly twice as old as that man now. But he was fairly sure he would still end up on that same patch of grass doing the exact same thing in half an hour or less. 

He stopped at the bottom of the steps, looking down at his feet breathing deeply. Thinking to himself the words he had heard the night before, before everything had gone so terribly wrong.

“You are the strongest man I know. You are perfect as you are.” The warmth of his best friend's body and the stability of his strong arms.

He swallowed the swelling sadness of the memory, trying to find strength in the words and walked up the steps knocking on the heavy wooden door loudly.

He turned and looked back down the way he had come. His car parked neatly next to the letter box. His shaking hand again moving his hair into place and adjusting his glasses before dropping to his side again.

What was he even doing here? He wondered for a moment if Rhett was already on his way back to L.A and if he should have gone with him.

But, he had enjoyed the time he had spent with his Mom that morning, helping out around the house, chatting about nothing of much importance. Enjoying being able to make her laugh and smile. Keeping his mind occupied with the present and refusing to allow anything else to enter his mind. After years of dealing with the ups and downs of Rhett while living with his family, he was well practiced on compartmentalising. 

They had been laughing about something when she had asked out of the blue if he’d gone to see his father lately. That it might be a good idea. He’d decided it must be some kind of fate and had agreed he would in the afternoon for a couple of hours.

And now, here he was. Questioning why. He didn’t even believe in fate. Only choices made or not. To decide to take action or to stay passive.

The door opened abruptly like it had been grabbed and yanked from the inside, which it probably had. Link spun on his heels, startled by the unexpected violence of it and ended up face to face with his father.

“Boy,” he said gruffly, giving little away. They shook hands, all stern, overly firm awkwardness and little warmth. Relief in both of their eyes when their hands were back at their sides. “What ya doin’ here?”

“Hi, Dad. I um, I was passing through and thought I’d come by. It’s been a while.” 

“Ah, yup. Well, here I am.” 

Link waited a moment for an invitation inside, but that seemed to be still up for negotiation. He forced his hands to remain still, meeting his father’s gaze with some effort.

“Ah, how you been?” he tried.

“Alright. I ain’t dead. So better than some. You?” 

“Yeah. Uh. Same, I guess.”

The older man looked at him steadily. “Spose you better come in huh? Wanna drink or something?” 

“Thanks. A uh, coffee. Or beer if you have one?”

“Yeah, I can find one I’m sure.” 

He followed the older man into the house, the rooms dimly lit. The windows too small to let enough sunshine in along the front of the house and his father too cheap to bother turning on any lights. 

Charles 2.0 continued down the passageway and into the living room. Dated but comfortable furniture decorated the room. A large modern TV the only item this side of 1990.

Both men stood just inside the room. Link, unsure where he was best to sit, and his father seemingly still undecided if he wanted to offer Link a seat at all.

At last he gestured to the couch. “Sit down, I guess. I’ll get ya drink.” 

He returned with two beers and handed one to Link and settled himself in a well-worn armchair. 

“You seen your ma?” 

“Yeah. I’ve stayed there ah, the last couple of nights. I had an unexpected meeting in Fuquay we had to go to.” He moved his hair out of his eyes again, wondering if he was being too precise about it. Too particular for his father’s liking.

“We? Your buddy here too?” 

“Yeah. Yeah. He was. Well is. At his folks place.” 

“He alright is he?” 

“Yeah, he’s fine. Business is going well.” 

“Yup, I saw a write-up about you two not long ago. Some magazine or other. Was in the bloody barbers and Dave showed me. Can ya believe that? My boy in some magazine.” he laughed a couple of loud ha ha’s. 

Nearly exactly like that. Barking almost. “Ha. Ha.” Amusement, and even a little pride in the sound, but nowhere close to genuine joy. The volume of the sound more startling than anything, and then the old man was straight back to silence, aside from the sound of his drink sloshing around in the bottle as he tipped it to and then from his mouth. His face an unreadable mask.

Link smiled, looking down at the carpet. “Yeah, they sure write a load of crap in those things.” 

“Well, Link, seems you’re doing alright in any case.” 

“Yeah.” Link took a long drink from his own bottle, not really wanting it anymore, but it at least gave him something to do while he figured out how to start. Or if he wanted to. And then suddenly he was, “Dad, I actually came by to talk to you about something in particular.” 

“Figured.” his eyes flicked to his son. “I figure I ain’t gonna like it none either from that puking panicked look on your face. So just get on with it. Save us both the stress.” 

“Look, maybe this isn’t such a great idea. It’s not real important.” 

“Charlie, just talk, huh?. Ya came all the way out here. I ain’t exactly local. Probably won’t see ya again for months. What difference is it really gonna make if I don’t like it?”

“Yes, Sir. You’re probably right. Can this just stay between us, at least for now?” 

“Who am I gonna tell?” he laughed joylessly again. “I don’t talk to your ma. Unless it’s about the weather or what she wants done when she or me is dead. And your family is your family. Not my job to tell em nothin.” 

“Well, that’s kinda what I figured, Dad. Which is the main reason I’m talking to you and not someone else first.” 

“Ah-yup. Fair enough. So spill it before you vomit on my floor or piss yourself on my couch.” 

“Ok. Well. I’m bi.” Link started, looking over at his father trying to read if the words were getting through. “Like, I’m into guys too. I have been...”

“What?” he cut in, his brow creasing, eyes squinting across the room.

Link deciding clinical was better than emotional stated, “I’ve had sexual relationships with men in the past.” 

Yesterday was the past right? He almost giggled, relieved that he wasn’t blushing at the suddenly remembered sensations.

His father put his beer down heavily on the coffee table with a loud, bang! Link squeezed his own tightly in his hand, congratulating himself on not visibly jumping.

“Are you trying to be funny? Is this one of your try to piss everyone off for a laugh moments? Where’s the camera? Why the hell you tellin’ me this crap now?”

“No, Sir. I’m not trying to be funny. And there is no camera.” Link forced himself to look at his father, pushing down his fear. Noting the alarming shade of rage. “I’m nearly 40 years old and I want you to know this about me.”

“How the fuck can you be gay? You’re married.” 

“Well, it doesn’t really work like that, Dad, and I didn’t say I was gay.” 

“You have children. Three. I mean doesn’t that mean you’ve had sex with her? Or you get a real man to do that part for you?”

“Don’t…” Link began, a wave of anger and fear washing over him. He had known his dad wouldn’t be happy. But he had not expected quite this. 

His father was stringing more words together in a row than he had in over twenty years, though. Even if they were all vile. Link had a perverse urge to laugh again. Not a big Charles the second haha. But a full on laughing his ass off, freaking hoot nanny.

“You fuck men? I mean, what the fuck else is that then? You can call it whatever ya damn choose, but you’re still a fag.” 

God, surely he hadn’t said that word. The edges of Link’s vision were getting darker as his father raged on. He knew he was getting close to passing out and was trying to decide if that was better or worse than crying.

“God, all my mates told me you were a pansy ass kid. And I said, Nah. He’s just a little sensitive. A bit nervous is all. He’ll harden up. Hard not having a dad around all the time.” he stops suddenly, glaring over at Link, his voice getting louder still. “Is that it? You little fucking shit. You here to blame me cause you’re some kinda queer? Is that it?” He stood suddenly, knocking the table with his knee, his beer tipping and rolling in a semicircle on the surface, spewing the liquid out onto the table, beer slowly flowing over the edge to the floor in small waterfalls.

He had known his father would hate this. Hate him. But this has been a childish mistake.

Link remained seated, blinking slowly, trying to control his breathing and clear his vision. His muscles tensing automatically, ready to respond if things escalated any further. Part of his brain, the part that would be irretrievably damaged otherwise had gone offline for a while. Protecting the most essential aspects of his mind. 

“Dad. No. I am not here to blame anyone. I came to talk with you is all.” 

And why the hell had he done that? Link wished he was far from here. As he had on so many other occasions when sitting across from his father over the years.

But this was why he had come, wasn't it? He had wanted to be punished for speaking aloud. To be rejected by someone he expected it from. For Rhett's reaction to become expected. Common sense. How any reasonable man would feel.

“Who?” he all but screamed at him. “Who you been being queer with? Huh? Rhett? Is that it? I bet it fucking is. You two make me fucking sick! You...”

“No.” Link cut in, raising his own voice to match his father’s. “No, he is not, he’s not like me. He’s my best friend.”

“Mike?”

“No, Dad. No one you would know.”

“Gregg? That other little shit you lived with in college? What was his name? Jim? Tim? Who the fuck? Who? Who else knows you’re queer?” 

“Dad, calm the hell down!” Link stood at last, glaring back at his father. “What does it even matter who I have had sex with! How is that even remotely relevant to this? I mean who cares who it was?” 

The fist came out of nowhere. One moment Link was standing and the next he was falling hard into the television set nearly knocking it from the stand as he tried to stay upright. He took a few stumbling steps back from it, still holding it in place, in part to keep himself upright but also so it wouldn’t smash his glasses if it fell to the floor. His head was ringing and the pain in his face was far greater than he had ever imagined that a punch to the face could possibly cause. He would have to tell Rhett that fact sometime, he thought automatically.

He turned slowly towards his father once he had retrieved his glasses from the floor, the other man stood breathing heavily staring back at him. Just out of arms reach. But it never crossed Link’s mind to hit him back. Both of them knew he could easily overpower the older man. But, Link had no interest in being that kind of man. That, at least, he did have control over. A choice he could make.

“I think you’d better go. I don’t really wanna look at you. Pass on my love to your wife and children if ya even have the audacity to speak to them these days. And don’t worry. I won’t tell your poor beautiful wife anything. Or your kids or Rhett. Though they all deserve to know what they are livin’ with and allow in their lives. But don’t think for a second it’s for your sake. I won’t talk to them, Link, because I will never ever mention your name again in my lifetime. You stay away boy. You’re no son of mine. None! And for God’s sake don’t tell your mother. You’d break her damn heart.” 

“Alright.” Link said quietly, adjusting his glasses, “Nice speech.” Link let his hands fall down by his side relaxed, refusing to acknowledge the pain in his face, or to face his father with fear in his stance. He looked at his Dad for a long moment before turning away, “Bye Dad. You take care of yourself now.” 

He walked out of the house, unable to stop himself from hurrying his steps slightly when he heard the other man moving after him. But he didn’t think his father would hit him again. He was leaving after all. He opened the front door, his father’s final shot, “Bet, I know which one is the fucking girl,” sailing past him into the afternoon air before he closed the door behind himself without looking back. Making sure he didn’t slam it loudly and started down the driveway.

He glanced towards the patch of lawn and slowed. Anger swelling in his mind. 

He spat on the spot he’d stood on all that time ago, crying like a baby for letting his Dad down, praying for Rhett to come and hold him. He spat again, and considered pissing on it as well, but turned away.

“Fuck you old man,” he muttered, before marching the rest of the way down the driveway to his rental car, shutting the door behind himself. He started the engine in a sensible manner, indicated on the empty road and pulled out into the lane. Sedate and controlled. Of this, he also had a choice. 

Half a mile down the road he pulled over carefully, staring out the windscreen his hands gripping the steering wheel, his face and head throbbing. He carefully turned off the car, checked for traffic and got out. Walked over to the shoulder on the passenger side and vomited violently. Falling to his knees, unable to support himself or maintain his balance. Heaving again and again, stopping only when there was nothing at all left. Stringy spit hanging from his lips, his eyes watering. He lay in the grass a short distance from the mess, and finally let the tears come, holding his head and face firmly to try and ease the pain, worried now that something might be broken in there.

He lay a long time, alternating between crying and blankly staring at the blades of grass at eye level, too close to be in focus but fascinating nevertheless. 

No cars passed, just time. 

And then at last it came. The numb shutting down of his mind. Narrowing down to the absolute essentials. No one and nothing else on earth entering his mind aside from instructions on how to get from right here and now, through until the foreseeable future. 

He smiled as the monologue of thoughts began, one after the other; you gotta get back in the car and drive back to your mother’s house. You need an excuse for your face. You need to pack your stuff ready for the flight. You need to check reservations with Rhett and a time and place to meet at the airport. And most importantly, you gotta get the vomit off your shirt before you get back in the car or it will make you feel sick again, and you ain’t got nothin left in the tank, boy. 

He got to his knees and then to his feet, shuffling to the car looking down at himself. It was just his shirt he had a little mess on. He unbuttoned it, wiping his mouth with it before rolling it into a tight ball and throwing it in the trunk. He got back behind the wheel shirtless. Starting the engine and mindlessly began the long drive to his mother’s house.


	10. Sparks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett returns to L.A.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the very long delay updating this fic. I hope to have a new part up within the next couple of weeks.

Rhett looked down at his phone for the last time before powering it off for the flight. He had heard nothing from Link since the other man had walked out of their hotel room late the night before.

He had woken early in the morning with the other man’s scent still on his skin and all around the room. He missed him more than he thought possible having only just spent an entire day of relaxing by the river and making love well into the evening. Which they almost never had the opportunity to do. 

But then Link had talked. Quietly with trust and hope. And he had yelled with anger and fear. And Link had left. And Rhett had felt utterly alone for the first time he could remember in over 30 years.

He felt sick every time he looked at his last messages to Link. But, he couldn’t un-send them. 

All he could hope for was a chance to make things right once Link was back home.

But, really how could he possibly make things right? 

So he had booked his flights, promised to bring the grandkids out for a visit in a couple of months to his parents to make up for his absence, and ran away. Pretending to himself it was what Link wanted, that he was doing the right thing. 

He had emailed Link a copy of his flights and had asked him to reply with the same. That he could meet him at the airport when he got in tomorrow if he was up to it.

The flight itself was uneventful aside from the constant and persistent thought that he should not be on it. That he was making the biggest mistake of his life. 

He readjusted his position constantly, trying to blame his mood on his cramped position. Planes are not designed for 6 foot 7 persons to fly in comfort. So he muttered under his breath, violently shifting around in his seat disturbing his neighbor. Glaring at the poor guy when he had looked up at him with justified annoyance. 

“What?” he had asked. Like one of those assholes that everyone has to deal with from time to time. Feeling terrible, but keeping his face an unwavering mask of righteousness. 

The man shook his head and went back to reading his book.

He had only just begun to doze a little when the plane landed in L.A. The announcement to remain seated until the seatbelt light turned off waking him to full awareness. Everyone suddenly on high alert, mentally assessing their planned exit to try and beat the mass of bodies wanting to fit out the tiny exit doors.

Rhett remained seated, staring at the back of the seat in front of him. He didn’t want to get off the plane. If he did, it would mean he had left Link behind in North Carolina. 

He watched his hands twisting in his lap, barely aware of the other passengers disembarking, trying to send telepathic messages to Link telling him he was sorry. So very fucking sorry. That he had made a rash decision because he had been hurt and scared. That with this, he was always scared.

But, that wasn’t good enough. They had both been through too much together for him to get away with such cowardice now. He had made a mistake, and now he had to man up and face the consequences. 

But which mistake was he willing and able to admit to? 

He grabbed his bag from the overhead locker and made his way down the aisle and off the plane, nodding his thanks to the cabin crew.

He saw Stevie easily, waiting off to the side, looking anxiously for him.

“Hi,” she said looking past him. “Where’s Link?”

“He’s coming back tomorrow.” 

They looked at one another, Rhett hoping she would ask more, Stevie hoping Rhett would be quiet.

“Come on then, I’m parked fairly close.” 

He walked beside her, ignoring the mass of bodies around them. Everyone with somewhere to go, somewhere to be. He should not be there.

“Is he ok?” she asked without looking at him.

“No. No he’s not.” 

She stopped suddenly turning to him. “What do you mean he’s not?” her stress and worry catching them both off guard. “Why’d you go, then? You were meant to fix him and bring him back.” 

He was surprised by the hurt he can hear in her voice. “I tried. He, wants... I… It’s complicated.” he trailed off weakly. “I tried to help him.”

“And, that’s why you are here telling me he’s not ok?” Stevie said staring at Rhett. “Before you left you told me he was alright. Needed some time. That you were gonna go get him. Now he’s worse?” 

“Stevie, you don’t understand...” He wondered if he could ever get the words out. “We’ve…” 

“No. No. Woah, no, no.” she began waving wildly seeing something dangerous in his defeated expression, cutting him off effectively. “Do not tell me. Ever.” 

“I don’t know what you think I was going to say, or think I would have to say.” 

“Yeah, good. That’s good. That’s exactly how I want it to stay.” she snapped in frustration, “But, I don’t think you realise just how messed up all this is.” 

“Please, if you would just let me say what ...”

“No! I can not know any of that. But, he deserves you to be his friend. And, right now I don’t think you are being a very good one.”

Rhett started walking towards the exit, unable to look at Stevie’s disappointment.

She caught up easily, gesturing up at him, “The last time I saw him he looked on the brink of losing his shit. I am really worried about him. Like, well, you know how he can be… but, well, you know. But, this is serious, Rhett.”

“I know that Stevie. I’ve known him a lot longer than you.” 

“Time doesn’t give you the monopoly on being able to look after him.” 

“How can you stand there, giving me a hard time about any of this, when you won’t even let me talk to you about it?” 

“Because it is my job! To actively not know about it. To keep all this crazy shit balanced and working smoothly. I can’t actually know anything and then be able to keep this all going. So, no Rhett, you can’t talk to me. Being oblivious to whatever is not going on, is the only way this works. But I can still be mad at you if you have left him there when he’s broken.” 

“Hmm.”

“Is he broken?” she asked after a long pause.

“I dunno Stevie. He’s not ok. I know that much.”

“Is he coming home?” she asked more gently. He was just as much a part of her job as Link was. 

“He told me he was. Tomorrow. I think he’s spending time with family today.”

“Maybe I could call him later.”

“I guess someone should.” 

“I think you should maybe leave him alone for a while.” 

“Stevie, I really love him. He’s my best friend. I never meant to make things worse.”

“I know, Rhett. I’m sorry.” She rested her hand on his forearm. “We need him to be ok.”

 

He sat in the front seat of Stevie’s car on the way to his home when he remembered suddenly that his phone was still off. He hadn’t even told his wife that the flight had come in alright. He fumbled for it, cursing under his breath, waiting impatiently for it to switch on. It seemed to take a lifetime for the handset to power on fully and gain coverage signal.

Seven missed calls. Dammit. He swiped quickly, hoping his wife wasn’t too stressed at his lack of contact.

He glanced unseeing at the call log, seeing his wife’s name in the list more than once and dialled quickly.

“Jessie?” her voice sounded strained and distant

“Rhett! Gosh. Are you alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m so sorry. I forgot to turn my phone on when I got off the plane…” 

“Have you heard anything more?” 

“Uh... “ 

“Have you not heard from Link?” 

“Well, I saw him of course….but…” 

“Has he been released?”

“Released from where?” he asked his tone short, confusion making him angry.

“The hospital. I thought you said you had seen him?” 

“Yesterday?! I saw him yesterday,” he heard his voice increasing in volume but couldn’t stop it. “What? Hospital? What’s happened?” 

“Don’t yell at me, Rhett. From what I understand, he’s going to be ok. Just needed Xrays I think. He was in some kind of accident. Might have a concussion. He’s not making much sense. Maybe, call Sue. She might know more. He just showed up shirtless and covered in blood.” 

“Showed up where? Where had he been?” 

He hung up without waiting for a reply, realizing that she probably didn’t know the answer, and dialed Sue’s number instead.

Mentally chastising himself for hanging up on his wife while listening to the phone rang in Buies Creek. After twelve unanswered rings, he terminated the call, looking down at his lap trying to come up with a plan. He dialed Link’s mobile and was shocked when it was answered after the third ring.

“Hey.” Link sounded monotonous and groggy, but he had been able to answer the call which was something right?

“Link! What happened?” 

“Ah...you dumped me, I think,” he said coughing a little. His voice barely recognisable.

“Oh, god. Link....” Rhett trailed off, unsure how to finish his sentence or even what words it could contain.

“But, I guess I deserved it. I...ah…. you know. No hard feelings and all. Business to run, families to support, people to deal with...” his voice became distant and muffled for a while before he came back on the line. “But, the ah hospital? Xrays. Nothing broken. Just bruising. Should be fine in a few days.”

“What happened?” 

“Walked into a door.”

“Are you ok?” 

“Are you a moron, Rhett?” his voice still a weird monotonous tone. Low and despite his words, expressionless. “Of course, I’m not fucking alright. Are you alright?” 

“No. No, I’m not. I’m sorry, Link.”

“Hmm. Well. Guess I’m sorry too.” he was silent a few seconds before adding, “Think my plane gets in around midday tomorrow.” 

“Can I come get you?” 

“I don’t care. Do what you want.” 

“Link...please, I’m…” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

Rhett listened to the silence a while before lowering his phone to his lap.

“Oh, fuck.” 

Stevie looked to Rhett sharply, not used to hearing him swear and saw he was openly crying beside her. Quietly, but making no attempt to hide the fact.

“Oh, hell,” she said. “Look, Rhett, come home with me a while. I guess we should talk.” 

So they talked long into the night. Once he started talking about him, he couldn’t stop. All the years of secrets and longing and their affair and the argument yesterday. And Stevie listened mostly silently. This was every childhood friend coming out again at her kitchen table while her partner slept on oblivious to her livelihood imploding in their bedroom.

“Do you know what love actually means, Rhett? Not lust, or desire, or need. But love? Do you know what that is? And does it look like Link, or someone else, or no one at all?” 

‘I fucking love him.” he said angrily.

They looked at each other silently. Nothing else needing to be said. Rhett knew, and Stevie was too tired for this shit.

Because if he loved him. Why the fuck was he here, and Link god knows where? 

“Life isn’t black and white, Stevie. I do love him. I have always loved him. I mean, you know that right?” 

“Yes. “ she said quietly, pouring them another drink. 

As far as she knew, love wasn’t always rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes it was cesspools and toxic waste. They were both as bad as each other. Do it or don’t, but don’t do this.

While Rhett and Stevie nursed hangovers approaching the airport, Link followed along behind the other passengers disembarking at LAX. The man in front of him swinging an oversized bag that was at risk of hitting him if he got too close.

Everyone, for the most part, had given him a wide berth. In part he was sure from the obvious physical injury from being hit, coupled with his quietly simmering rage.

He knew that Rhett, and probably Stevie would be at the airport waiting for him with platitudes and the pretense of care. He had spent the four and a half hour flight rehearsing his cool calm and casual expression of indifference. 

Fuck them all right? But. 

He stumbled into the man in front, muttering an apology that was ignored. He tried to take some steadying breaths, but his chest was too tight. He couldn't get any air in at all the closer he got to the arrivals lounge.

He hoped that Rhett would not be there. He wasn't sure if he would fall at his feet begging for him, or if he would punch him in the face with all the rage of a lifetime wasted wanting. 

He was leaning towards violence. He had never felt so furious and impotent in his entire adult life.

The line progressed painfully slowly. He started counting the squares of carpet on the floor. Moving onto the squares on his plaid shirt when he ran out of flooring.

He wondered how Rhett was. Would he always need him to hide? Would they ever make love again? Would he ever love him again? Would his face ever stop hurting? 

He finally approached the automatic doors to Los Angeles. He stopped, letting other passengers go around him, jostling him where he stood, unable to make his feet move. Seeing glimpses of Rhett and Stevie as the door opened and closed. Both very distinctive in their own ways.

He wanted to turn and run. And he wanted Christy. She would take care of him. Without the bullshit that came with Rhett. The thought made him feel even more out of control, because what kind of asshole was he? 

He took a stumbling step forward. It was that or drop his bag and cry, and he was not going to do that. He had some fucking dignity after all. He took another step and another and another and all too soon he was standing with the glare of the fluorescents on his lenses pretending he was looking for Rhett and Stevie. Not able to meet their gaze yet. 

He exclaimed aloud when Rhett crashed into him, a quiet “Oh.” pushed from his lungs.

“Link! I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, baby. I am sorry.” 

His arms tight around him, pinning his own to his sides, holding too tight to allow Link to speak at all, making him feel trapped, as he always did, his anger flaring suddening.

“Ah….” 

“What the fuck happened to your face, Link. Are you ok? Honey? Please...Please. I love you. I love you. I am….” 

“Let go, Rhett!” he stood back once Rhett let him go, surprised at his own anger. “This isn't a fucking movie. What the fuck are you doing?” 

“Link,” he held him at arm's length, brushing his hair out of his eyes trying to assess the black eye, the bruising, and figure out who would have done it. “I talked to Stevie. I told her about us. She knows. We can spend some time with her and work out...” 

“What!’” Link shoved him away. Hard. “What the fuck? You fucking asshole. Are you serious?” 

Rhett looked down at him utterly confused. Link looked just about ready to kill him.

“You told Stevie? What? The FUCK!” 

“Dude! Isn’t that what you wanted?” 

“No! Fuck you man. FUCK you.” he pushed past him as hard as he could before spinning and swinging at him. Rhett only just managing to avoid the punch. Staring at him incredulously mere seconds before Link’s body crashed into him, tackling him to the ground, fists swinging wildly.

“You fucking son of a fucking bitch. You…..fuck you, man” 

“Link! What the fuck man. Stop it!” He squirmed beneath him trying to catch his fists in his hands while avoiding the shots to his face. “Stop. Link. Stop!” 

“You fucking bastard. Who the fuck. You think you are? You fucking... cunt!” 

“Woah! Link. Stop it! Dude. Fuck, man.”

But Link shocked at his own language and behavior had stopped swinging and was lying hard against him, his body heaving, crying as silently as he could.

“I hate you, Rhett. I fucking hate you, man.” 

“No, you don’t Link. I love you.” 

“Nah, you don’t.” 

“Baby?”

“I am not your fucking baby, you son of a bitch,” he said haltingly between harsh breaths in and out, spit and tears falling on Rhett’s shirt, but he deserved at least that as far as Link was concerned. “You're a fucking asshole.” 

“Link..” 

“Fuck you.” 

Rhett held him as tight as he dared, not caring that security officers were eyeing them suspiciously. Link’s outpouring of obscenities and accusations enough to keep them a step back.

Stevie waited, watching Link closely. What a giant fucking mess.

“Link,” Rhett started, unsure how he was going to continue.

“You told Stevie? I wanted to tell my wife. My wife, Rhett. And you freak out and dump me. But, then? You tell our fucking employee? Fuck you, Rhett. I fucking hate you right now. Let go of me.” 

“Please, Link. I love you.” 

“No. No, you don’t. Let go of me. Right now.” 

He pushed against Rhett’s chest once he felt the other man’s hands fall away. Using him for leverage to gain his feet. Restraining himself from spitting on him, but it was close. He untangled his legs from him, grabbed his bag and headed towards Stevie. His face ashen.

“Shit, what happened to you?” 

“He did,” he looked down at her, taking a deep breath. Wanting to keep the truth to himself. Hearing himself telling her anyway. “And I told my Dad I fuck boys sometimes.” 

“Oh, Link.” She stepped forward to meet him, her arms already closing around him as his head came to rest on the top of her head, knocking her hat askew.

“Don’t tell genius over there huh?” he mumbled as he fell further into her arms.

“Come on, Honey. I’m gonna take you home.”


	11. Leave Right Now

Link sat in the backseat of Stevie’s car, his elbow resting on the door, his chin in his hand, watching the scenery slowly changing to familiar areas. The vibration aggravating the pain in his face, but he didn’t move for some time. That pain was one that he could deal with.

He had refused to sit in the front with Stevie or in the back with Rhett, so he had the backseat to himself and had been silent since they had started the journey towards the studio, aside from telling Rhett to fuck off every time the other man attempted to speak to him.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and sent an SMS to Christy, letting her know he was back in L.A and was meeting with Stevie for an emergency meeting, but that he should be home soon. That he had missed her and the kids.

He realised as he put his phone back into his pocket that his face was hurting, the painkillers he had been given were wearing off. It wasn’t helping his mood any, and he still hadn't figured out what he was going to say to his wife and children about his face. He had clearly been punched. He had told Christy that he couldn’t really remember what had happened, but he knew that he would have to come up with something better than that.

He looked at Stevie’s profile, her face was stern, concentrating solely on the road. Her thumbs tapping on the steering wheel to an unheard beat. The back of Rhett’s head was giving nothing away at all. Only that he too might be looking out the front window.

Link sat looking at his hair, going up up up. Remembering how it felt between his fingers as he pulled on it gently and not so gently. He wanted to hit him or drag him into the back seat and kiss and hold him, cry against him and tell him about his father. Tell him that maybe he didn’t need to tell anyone anything. Maybe he could keep it all a secret. He wasn’t sure what he wanted more but the hitting appeared to be winning so far.

“So, Stevie,” he said before realising he was going to say anything at all, “Nice to be elevated above my wife?”

Her jaw tensed but she said nothing, her gaze remaining fixed on the road ahead though Rhett turned in his seat quickly.

“Don’t take it out on Stevie, man. She didn’t want to know all this shit.” 

“Fuck off, Rhett,” he said without looking at him. Shocked at his language but seemingly unable to stop it. He had sworn more in the last twenty-four hours than he had in the past twelve months and it appeared he was aiming to beat the twelve before that as well.

Rhett sighed and turned back to face the front without saying anything more. The two front passengers sharing a quick look, before Stevie turned on the radio.

“I don’t want you to leave, will hold my hand. Oh, won’t you - ”

All three groaned loudly and Stevie lurched for the radio again switching it off violently.

“Sorry.” she mumbled.

“Not your fault he’s an asshole,” said Link. His voice again low and monotonous.

Part of him knew he was being childish. A bigger felt entirely justified. But he resolved to keep quiet for the remainder of the journey, if not until he could go home. His mother had always said if you don’t have something nice to say, keep your mouth shut. And he had nothing remotely nice to say at all.

He focused out the window again, watching the traffic flowing smoothly, speeding to god knew where. Wondering how many other vehicles were carrying along a car load of utter dysfunction and pain. A fair few he figured. Rhett would likely have a theory on the statistical probability. And he didn’t want to hear that either.

His gaze shifted to his hands, his fingers twirling his wedding band as he habitually did. The metal, warmed from his body heat, reassuring rather than accusing. A constant reminder that no matter what else he faced in the day, in his life, he had someone who relied on him. Someone he could rely on. Someone who had vowed to stand beside him. In sickness and in health. As he had with her. And every day he knew he would make the same decision. Proudly and with the same wonder he had always felt every time she smiled at him.

He knew that most wouldn’t understand how he could be having an affair and still consider himself to be able to be relied on. And he knew on some level that he justified his relationship with Rhett so he could still sleep at night beside his wife and not feel like he was living a lie. 

But as far as he was concerned there was no lie. He loved her. Loved their children. Loved their family. Rhett was simply always there. Had always been there. An integrated part of himself that he couldn’t separate himself from. There had never been any choice. It just was. They had grown together. Loving and laughing and fighting and creating and being just there. A constant presence in each others lives. Neither ever truly alone at all.

Christy was his choice. Just as Jessie was Rhett’s, he supposed. A person he had found and fell into and loved with all that he had. They were completely separate in his heart and his mind. Both utterly needed loved and wanted. Neither taking anything from the other, only offering him balance and peace.

In theory.

They had spent so many more years apart than together, he and Rhett. Their love was not one that had been able to be expressed physically very often. 

Or perhaps really needed to be.

He slipped his ring off, turning it between his fingers.

But. He wanted it to be. Had always wanted it.

He felt another wave of anger and realised that beneath that was the shame that had always been there. That Rhett’s rejection had just confirmed what he had felt all along about himself. About what he desired. At least, his father had had the balls to hit him for it. To be honest.

How many times had Rhett let him touch him feeling sick inside? Sucked him while wanting to choke. 

He hadn’t realised he had groaned aloud until Stevie asked if he was ok.

“I feel, uh, I, uh, I’m gonna be sick. Can you pull over or something.” 

She managed to bring the car to a stop a few minutes later. Link scrambled from the back seat, leaving the back door open, dry heaving on the side of the road, his hands on his knees.

Rhett got out the car and approached him slowly.

“Link? You ok, man?”

“Fuck. Off,” he said before spitting a final time and straightening slowly, still not looking directly at him.

“Please, Link. Can I get you some water?” 

“You can get me some fucking peace and quiet and FUCK off.” 

“Link?” 

“I’m not gonna just,” he started before he turned again, holding onto the barrier, coughing over the side, violently heaving, but it had been so long since he had eaten anything it was a pointless exercise. After long painful moments, Rhett standing a short distance away unsure what to do, but wishing he could do something, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, standing again. “I’m not gonna just be ok, Rhett. I m not. This isn’t one of those times ok? I’m not lying to you ever again. Hiding from you ever again. This is my truth, you fucking.” he took a deep breath. “I don’t need you, man. I don’t want anything from you right now. Fuck off and let me do this in peace.”

“Link I can help…” he flinched when Link glared up at him.

“You have helped quite enough. Fuck. The fuck. Off. Maybe go tell Stevie all about it? She can hold your hand and make you feel better,” he yanked his phone from the front of his jeans and held it out, his hand trembling, holding Rhett’s gaze even though it made him want to vomit all over again, “Or you wanna ring my wife and tell her instead?”

“I know you’re angry,” Rhett began taking a step towards him.

“Don’t,” he said, taking a reflexive step back, “You are not that stupid surely? Get back in the car. You try and touch me and I won’t be the only one with a fucking black eye.” he pushed past him and got back in the car, closing his door firmly. 

“Sorry, Stevie. I think I’m alright now.” his voice surprisingly level.

The car rocked a little as Rhett settled back in the front, closing his door without a word. Stevie met Link’s gaze in the rearview mirror, hoping it was reassuring. He nodded slightly before his gaze slid away again.

They finally pulled into the carpark at the studio, all three had maintained their silence for the remainder of the trip. Each getting out of the car without a word. 

Rhett stood a little to the side, unsure if he should stay or go. Link walked past him towards the door ignoring him as much as he could. He wanted Rhett to hold him. To stop everything from hurting. But that would likely make Rhett feel uncomfortable. So he needed to get thoughts like that out of his head. He should probably try to stop being facetious as well. But. One step at a time perhaps. 

Stevie walked around the front of her car, gesturing for Rhett to follow them, and slipped her arm around Link’s waist, resting her head against him. His arm heavy across her shoulders.

“Love you, Link,” she said quietly. “I’m here for you. Promise.” 

“Thanks, Stevie. I.” he took a shaky breath, squeezing her closer to him, “I love you too. And I’m sorry that you have been brought into this. It’s not. Right.” 

“I think it’s a little overdue maybe. You kinda could have told me years ago. I wouldn’t have judged, Link.” 

They made their way to the kitchen, none of them strangers to the studio after hours. The silence that might have been unnerving familiar and safe to them all.

“Coffee, Link?” Rhett asked.

He looked over at him a long moment before nodding. “Alright. Yeah.” 

Rhett looked like he had been told he had won the lottery. Link internally rolled his eyes. Must be nice being in that guy’s head he thought.

“Stevie?” 

“Tea, thanks.” 

Link swallowed some more pills and sat on the couch.

“I really dunno that I wanna do this, Stevie.” 

“I know. But. Maybe if we just figure out what you might say to Christy about your face? Do you want to tell her it was your father, or do we need to come up with something else?” 

He looked up sharply, and across to Rhett, who had paused, his whole body tense, glaring back over at them.

“Fuck sake. What is wrong with you people!” 

“Your father hit you?!” 

“Please. Just don’t, alright?” all anger and fight gone from his body. A deep sorrow taking it’s place that he liked much less. He looked down at his hands, frowning. Mentally telling himself to breath, to relax his shoulders, to not cry. Harden the fuck up. Nobody likes a pansy, right?

He clenched his jaw, squaring his shoulders and looked up at them both. Stevie’s expression resigned kindness, she had seen this all too many times before, and Rhett’s a mask of rage. Probably planning his flights back to NC and the speech he’d deliver along with the right hook. 

“I shouldn’t have gone to see him when I was feeling like I was. And I shouldn’t have talked to him about it how I did. It was childish. It’s perfectly reasonable that.” he stopped, nearly choking on the words. 

Rhett moved around the counter and sat on the other end of the couch, keeping a good distance between them. Link’s eyes flicked to his hand resting on the cushion between them, a silent offering, before looking back at Stevie.

“I mean. It’s uh. Understandable. I guess. Like…” he stopped again. Swallowing. “I knew he would be disgusted,” he shrugged a little, “You know how it is down there. I.” He swallowed again. 

Stevie sat forward and took his hands, kissed them both gently and listened, not making direct eye contact with him. Wanting him to take his time and not feel like she was waiting or expecting anything.

Her tenderness unravelled him and he was unable to speak for long minutes. Swallowing constantly trying to stop himself from crying. Realising Rhett was crying silently at the other end of the couch. He wanted to punch him for it.

“I didn’t think he would hit me.” he continued slowly, “And I didn’t think it would hurt this bad when he did.” 

“Is anything else hurt? Physically?” Stevie cut in.

“Uh, my shoulder. I hurt it again when I hit the TV. But, it’s fine. Just, ah. A little sore.”

“And there’s no fracture?” 

“Just bruising. They think it will be fine in a week or so. More X-rays maybe once the swelling has gone down some more if it's still hurting bad.” 

“What happened after? After he hit you? Was it one time?” 

“Yeah. Just uh, once.” 

“There’s no just about it, Link.” 

“I left. I’m not allowed to go back. He’ll never speak my name again.” 

“He was an asshole anyway, Link” Rhett spat.

“No. He isn’t.”

“Link?” Stevie asked quietly.

And something in her tone made Link feel very scared. That this was what all the rest was leading to and he didn't wanna hear it and he didn’t want to talk anymore.

“Don’t, Stevie. You’re gonna make me cry, and I can’t anymore.”

“What did he say to you?” 

“Don’t.”

“You have to know that you are not those things. You do know that don’t you? There’s nothing wrong with what you want. Who you are, Link, there’s...” 

“Please, Stevie. Not now. I.” his eyes again flicked to Rhett’s hand, before moving back to Stevie’s face. Her eyes now on his. “I can’t now.” 

“Link. You are not the things he said to you.” 

“Fuck…” he closed his eyes, tears starting to flow despite all efforts to stop them. He took a deep breath, haltingly. “He, uh. Just. The normal kind of stuff I guess.” 

“You want a hug?” she asked.

“No. I um. I need to just, ah,” but he knew he was looking across at her with such open need that he stopped saying no, stopped wasting their time, and let her come to him.

“Fucking hell, man,” Rhett stood and left the room, needing to move and needing to not see Link being comforted by someone else when he was right there. It made no difference that he knew he was being selfish. It still fucked him off, and he would rather be angry with someone else than himself. And he would rather be angry than listen to Link’s pain.

He pulled out his phone and called Jessie. Leaving a voicemail when she didn’t pick up. Letting her know he would be home shortly.

Things had been strained between them since he had returned, which was hardly a surprise since he had yelled at her, hung up on her and then virtually ignored both her and the children since he had been back.

But when he looked at her, he saw Link’s accusation of shame.

He reentered their studio fifteen minutes later having taken a walk around the block, hoping most of the hugging and consoling would be finished with, but found the staff room empty. Their untouched drinks on the coffee table. Both having been spilt some. A pool of liquid surrounding the bottom of each mug.

He stood a while, trying to think where they might be, and if he should actually try and find them. But then he heard Link’s voice. Harsh and accusatory. Stringing more swear words together than non-curse words. Stevie’s voice calm, but lost beneath Link’s ranting.

He found them in their shared office, Link gesturing wildly in the middle of the room. Swearing about a hundred things at once. His words slurred and bleeding into one another. None of it really making any sense from what Rhett could tell. Tears on his face, his hands shaking, his whole body tense and compulsively shifting.

Rhett looked at Stevie, whose expression was concerned, but not scared despite Link’s behaviour. 

“What...?” he asked.

“I’m not sure exactly. We were hugging. He was crying. He started mumbling about lies and wasting his life. Getting more upset really. Said he had to pee. Got up and fell over the table, then came down here completely ignoring me. And this.”

“Link?” he said, as he took a step towards him carefully.

“Is all justa fuckin fuckup, fuck you, man.”

“Well, I got that,” said Stevie. “I dunno if you’re the best man for this job.” 

“What medications are you on?” 

“Fuck off, Rhett.” 

“Stop being a dick. What medication have you taken?” 

“You can’t call me a dick, you’re an asshole,” he stopped, swaying a little on his feet. The silence stretching on as he thought about the question. “I don’t know, Rhett. Painkillers. Uh. Anti-anxiety stuff. Um, I don’t know.” 

“You look kinda out of it?” 

“I’m feelin’ kinda tired. And I feel scared. And my face fucking hurts.” his body slowed it’s swaying, his head lowered before he added, “And you’re an asshole and I’m an idiot.” 

“Do you feel disorientated?” 

He just looked at him blankly. “What?” he asked confusion clear on his face.

“Can I hold you, Link?”

“Won’t it make ya puke?”

Rhett swallowed hard, “Come ‘ere, Neal.” 

“Fuck you, Rhett,” he replied, but much quieter. Stepping into his arms. 

Stevie was unsure if it was beautiful or a nightmare. She sighed, sitting down heavily on their couch. Maybe it was both.

“Rhett. I hate you.” 

“I know, Link. I hate me a bit right now too.”

They stood that way a long time, Link’s head on his chest as Rhett rubbed his back, saying nothing but trying to keep his breathing slow and steady, knowing that Link would naturally try and match his own.

“Lay with me a while?” Link murmured quietly, “I’m. I can’t go home like this.” 

“Sure, Link. Come on.”

But as they were about to move, Link suddenly tensed again and stayed where he was, not allowing Rhett to lead him to the couch.

He dropped his arms from Rhett’s waist and stepped back, moving away from him. Pushing his glasses up and the hair off his face. His voice again that resigned monotone.

“No. Rhett. I, uh. I don’t want that. I, uh. I’m fine. Just need some sleep. I don’t want you stayin’ here with me.” 

“I can if you need me?” 

“I’m fine on my own. I think I want you to leave me alone.” 

Rhett looked at him a long time before asking, “Do you need the bathroom?” 

“What?” 

“You told Stevie you needed to. Do you still need to? You don’t wanna pass out kinda drugged without peeing first, right?” 

“Yeah. Right. Thanks, I guess.” he pushed past him and made his way to the bathroom, as Rhett sat down next to Stevie.

“Any ideas on what the fuck I should do?” 

“Aside from the obvious; figure out what you want, apologise to your boyfriend, speak to your wife and forgive yourself for loving a man. Maybe do as he asked and leave him alone for now.”

“It’s not all my fault, Stevie.” 

“No. It isn’t,” she pulled him into a side hug. “But, from where I’m sitting, I think you need to figure out what the fuck you’re doing and do it. Whatever it is. Stick to it. Don’t make him go through this ever again.” 

“I can’t…” 

“That’s ok, Rhett. It’s ok whatever you feel.” 

“I,” Rhett trailed off. Unsure what he was going to try and say. “Stevie. I don’t want to stop being with him. Like that, but, he wants... I mean.” 

“I know, Rhett.” She was quiet for a long while before adding, “I’ll crash here with him tonight. You should go before he gets back.” 

So that’s what he did. He left the building and called a taxi to take him away from the only man he had ever loved. Feeling like he was just repeating the same mistake he had made getting on the plane. But he wasn’t equipped for any of this. 

He wanted the last few days to have never happened. He wanted to be back in the bathroom stall, holding Link and staying with him instead of leaving him with his pain and hurt. He might have been able to calm him down enough at that point for nothing to have needed to change because now everything had. 

But here he was doing it all over again. Leaving again. And he knew himself well enough to understand that he would keep on leaving. Because whether he wanted to or not he couldn’t stand beside him in this. And, if he was really honest with himself, he didn’t want to. He wasn’t like Link. He just loved him. Only him.


	12. The ice is getting thinner

Link walked slowly towards the kitchen the following morning, his clothing rumpled and head aching. But the anger on his face and torment in his eyes had eased overnight. The warmth of Stevie holding him, wanting and expecting nothing at all from him, had healed him some and it had allowed him to rest without guilt or anxiety. 

He had asked for some time to himself when they had woken in the small hours of the morning and she had left late in the night to spend some time with her own family and was due back in around lunchtime.

Link found many of the crew were loitering in the kitchen area waiting on the coffee machine, talking with one another loudly. The silence was almost deafening as he entered the large open plan room.

“Mornin’,” he said, making eye contact with no one and grabbed a mug before he came to rest leaning against the bench to wait his turn, unsure what they had been told about his absence, and then Rhett’s.

“Welcome back, Boss,” said Chase, “Uh. What happened to your face?” 

He looked over at him slowly trying to decide if there was anything believable he could say. “I uh, spoke out of line. It’s fine. I deserved it.” 

“Who? It wasn’t Rhett was it?” asked another voice.

“No, it wasn’t Rhett.” he mumbled as he turned to put some sugar in his mug, being careful to not spill it despite his shaking hand, turning back to face the room but keeping his eyes on the middle of the floor.

“Has Stevie seen?” asked Jen.

“Yeah. And she hasn’t fired me. We’ll rearrange filming a little bit. It should be fine in a few days. I’d really rather try and forget about it.” 

“Looks painful, are you ok?” Jen began as Eddie and Mike came into the room in a bustle of activity and laughter, stopping suddenly when they saw Link.

“What the hell happened to you?” asked Eddie, laughing a little.

Link glanced over. “What's it look like happened to me? Can we just all shut up about it?”

He put his mug on the counter quietly and walked from the room, unwilling to wait longer for the coffee machine and made his way down the hallway and into the office he shared with Rhett. He stood in the doorway looking at their desks. And the seat Rhett would be occupying in less than half an hour. The area on the floor where he would put his bag. The arm of the couch he would throw his jacket until Link inevitably hung it up by the door.

He swung the door shut as he walked further into the room, his hand trailing over the back of Rhett’s chair before walking around their desks and sitting carefully on his own. Pleased that the desk surface was clear of clutter and the monitor was clean. Something in his life was in order at least.

He pushed his chair out from his desk and lay his head on his arms, resting the uninjured side gingerly against his forearm and closed his eyes as he tried to decide if he could stay and face him today, or if he needed to leave.

Of course, Rhett arrived before he managed to make a firm decision one way or the other. Link listened as the door opening gently, the hesitant sound of his steps as he moved into the room, still recognisable, the sound of him closing the door behind himself just as carefully. As if he feared that any noise might cause Link to attack him or run.

Link heard the sound of his bag hitting the floor next to his chair and soon after his jacket landing on the arm of the couch. He smiled a little but kept his eyes closed, enjoying his presence but not wanting to face the physical reality of him just yet. Knowing once he looked at him, he would want him. Then he would remember how he had looked at him.

“Link?” 

Rhett’s voice sounded very small and the remaining anger drained from him, defeated by the depth of their friendship for a time. He raised his head slowly, looking over at him through bleary eyes.

“Morning, Rhett,” he replied. Careful to keep his voice level. “Get any sleep?” 

“Some.” 

Link watched him warily as he came around their desks slowly and crouched down beside his chair, causing his heart to race and muscles to tense. He didn’t want Rhett so close to him. It wasn’t fair for him to do this.

But he remained silent as Rhett placed his hand on his knee and his shoulder. The weight and warmth of his hands reassuring even as they burned.

“Link?”

He glanced at his bright green eyes quickly before letting his gaze drop back to the giant hand resting on his thigh. Trying to keep his breathing steady, waiting to hear what the other man was going to say. What did he possibly think could be said?

But no words came. Instead, he felt the heat of the other man as he closed the gap between them, taking his breath away as his hands slipped around his body as they had a thousand times before, pulling Link against him, his head coming to rest against the side of his face as Rhett knelt beside him. He breath hot and thrilling on his skin even as Link felt himself becoming unhinged.

“Rhett,” he whispered, clinging to him.

“Link. I…” 

They were both quiet, holding on much tighter than either of them should be before they eventually separated a little, meeting each other's gaze, Rhett seeing the hope and Link seeing the tortured regret.

He swallowed hard, smiling weakly and kissed him softly. 

“I love you, Rhett.” he said quietly.

“I love you too, Link. You do know that right?” 

“Sure. I know that, Rhett. Now. Uh. Back up huh?” he let go of him and began to try to stand, knowing that his sanity was on a limited time offer, but Rhett stopped him and pulled him close again. His own arms closing around his shoulders automatically, as he fell back into his seat, his eyes closed tightly, praying to a God with deaf ears for this man to love him. To accept him. To stand beside him.

“Don’t do this, Rhett.” he said quietly, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice, “It’s not fair, ok?” 

“But...Link. I need this. I need you.”

“No, Rhett. You want me. What you need is other people’s respect and for me to keep quiet. To pretend it’s ok.” he released him again, his hands moving to his chest to push him gently away. “Which is fine. I’m hurt, Rhett. But I know you are hurting too. And, we’re gonna work out stuff so we can continue on here. But...”

“Link. I might be able to change.” 

“Oh, baby. I uh. I can’t be the one to help you right now,” he started softly before the anger suddenly rushed back into him, “You...” his voice gave away his pain and Rhett flinched a little. Link shut his eyes again, face upturned to the ceiling. Counting slowly in his head to stop himself from yelling at or striking the man kneeling at his feet. Rhett unable to fill the silence waited. 

“You. Uh. You need to leave me alone. I can’t help you with this. It is not fair that you want to touch me, hold me like that. Rhett. It’s not fair.” 

He stepped around him carefully and left their office without looking back. He moved on past the kitchen, hearing the crew in there laughing and joking, down past the recording studio, dark and silent for now, down past the editing rooms before finally pushing out of the building and getting into his car.

He turned the key in the ignition, putting the car in gear and drove carefully out of the car park. He had no idea where he was going, but he couldn’t stay there. And he wasn’t sure he could go home. Not yet.

And so he drove as randomly as he could, leaving the radio off because every song was likely about being in love or being screwed over. And he was both and sick to death of it.

His phone vibrated against his leg, and he managed to check it at the next set of lights. As expected, it was a message from Rhett wanting to know where he was. He replied quickly letting him know he was alive and fine and would be back in later.

He drove as aimlessly as he could but still ended up at his own home. Parked in the driveway, tears threatening to come. He watched with building concern as Christy approached the car, opening his door, taking both his hands and helping him to his feet.

“Honey? Come here.”

Her voice so tender and kind he had no choice at all but to let her hold him.

“Chris, I shouldn’t be here right now.” his voice wavered, but he wasn’t crying. He would not cry over Rhett in his wife's arms. 

“Shhh. Link? Come on, it’s ok. The kids are busy. We’ll just stay here a minute.”

He realised that he might be able to talk to her about everything else, though. Stevie knew for god sake. He held her close to him, inhaling the scent of her, the familiar sensation of her hair against his neck. Her warm soft hands moving over his back, comforting and loving.

“Christy? I love you.” 

“I know, Link. I love you too.”

She kissed his clothed shoulder, one hand moving into his hair, guiding his head to her shoulder, the other tightly around his waist beginning to sway with him a little. Slow dancing to the sounds of their breathing and distant traffic as they had so many times over the years of their marriage. She could smell Rhett on him, as she often could, which she ignored as much as she possible, as she often did, but there was another scent today that was completely unfamiliar. She closed her eyes, humming a little as they moved. Feeling him slowly relaxing. 

“Do we need to talk, honey?” she asked quietly. 

“Maybe, yeah.” he said his voice broken.

“Who hit you, Link? Was it Rhett?” she asked, not believing for a moment it would be.

“No. He might want to plenty of times, but no.” 

She was quiet for a few minutes, her mind racing trying to think who else could possibly be invested enough in him to strike out in anger.

“It was my Dad, Christy. When I was back home. He ah, he hit me after I talked to him about some things.” 

She held him closer, tighter than she thought she could. A wave of panic and fear washed over her at his words. He was going to leave. Something had changed in him, and he was ready to leave now. He had disclosed something, what? to his father. Something bad enough for him to hit him. There was really only a limited number of things that could be. She felt herself beginning to cry, trying as hard as she could to stop, squeezing him even tighter as if that might keep him with her.

Link, his own eyes closed as well, letting her even though it was getting hard for him to breath. His own arms wrapped around her in their driveway while the kids were doing goodness knows what inside. Probably something educational and wholesome.

He wondered if she would ask what things they needed to talk about, or what things he had talked to his father about, and then decided it wasn’t her job to. It was up to him, to be honest with her, not for her to have to fish for answers.

“You smell different,” she said, at last, her own voice wavering now.

His eyes opened, darting around over her shoulder trying to smell whatever she was, but couldn’t detect anything at all.

“Something, um. I dunno. Feminine maybe?” 

He relaxed against her again. 

“Stevie, I guess. Ah. Stevie stayed at the studio with me. I uh.” he cleared his throat backing away a little to look at her face. “I was upset about, uh. Dad. And, uh. She hugged me a while. I guess.” 

“Stevie?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You were really at the studio all night?” 

“Yeah, we uh. Went back there after my flight got in. Painkillers, and...uh…Well, I did call didn’t I? I was pretty out of it. Told you I was stayin’?”

“Yes, you called.” 

“Christy, that’s not really what we need to talk about.”

“No. I don’t guess that it is,” she kissed him softly before stepping back again. “Can we make it another time, Link? Or do we have to do this right now?” 

“Later’s ok.” 

“Are you going to leave me?” she asked suddenly, the words rushing out on their own.

“What?! No. No, of course not.” his concern and panic were obvious to them both. But, they both heard the unsaid but, causing both of them to drop the others gaze. Neither wanting to inadvertently read the truth there.

“Are you going back to work today?” she asked after a long pause.

“I uh. I should I guess. Can, I say hi to the kids first?” 

She looked over at him sadly again. “You don’t have to ask, Link. We’re your family,” she took his hand, swallowing her fears and hurt and lead him into the house.

So, he stayed playing with the children, actively forgetting the past few days. Listening to their stories and watching Christy as she moved around them all. Making sure everyone had what they needed, and no one was being left out. She stood a way away, watching Link carefully when he was not looking at her. She tried very hard to mask her distress but felt a growing and desperate need for him, borne from her fear she supposed, so when it was time for him to go she couldn’t stop from reaching for his hand.

“Dad has to go to work guys, I wanna say bye to him so I’ll be back in a few minutes. Play nice now, and we’ll go to the park after lunch.” 

Link silently followed her through the house, into the garage slightly confused at her intention, but not utterly oblivious, closing the door behind them, pulling her into his arms and kissing her passionately. Both needing one another urgently. Clothing hastily misplaced, mouths hard against the others, murmured words of love and need and how much the other was missed and how much the other was wanted right now, and they had better be quiet and they had to be fast, they could take time later, but now just, give and take and can’t we just stay here?

She bit down hard on his shoulder to stop herself crying out, legs wrapped around his waist, trembling against him as they moved against the back of the door. Their eyes locked, with an almost comical expression of we should not be doing this here looks on their faces, his own orgasm following hers quickly. Collapsing against one another before they finally untangled themselves and helped one another try to look presentable again.

“What in the world, Christy?” he murmured, breathless and half smiling, fastening his pants as she straightened his hair. 

“Come here. Kiss me again and then you can go,” she pulled him back to her by his shirt, “Be gentle this time, baby.” 

And, so he did, pouring as much of himself into the kiss as was left.

“I love you, honey.” 

“I love you.” She watched him step away as she continued leaning against the door. Her legs feeling weak, her heart still racing. “Don’t be late home tonight, ok?” 

He looked down a moment and back up to her. “I won’t be late. I promise.”

“I better deal with that lot.” 

He kissed her again slowly. “I missed you.” 

“So it seems,” she said smiling a little herself. Knowing there were a thousand words left unsaid for every few they spoke aloud.

“Honey?” she continued, waiting for him to acknowledge her before going on, “We’ll talk later, ok?” 

“Ok. Yeah,” he swallowed, suddenly looking nauseous. “Later.”

She rolled her eyes as she walked back inside. He had the poker face of a two-year-old sometimes.

Rhett watched Link entering their office again. He looked very small and extremely tired. Fragile. But he remained at his own desk, clicking on random emails pretending to not notice when Link winced sitting down, his hand moving to support the side of his head. He was right that Rhett shouldn’t attempt to comfort him, or seek comfort from him. 

He finally looked at him directly, noticing the distinctive bruise on his shoulder, on the skin close to his neck where his t-shirt didn’t quite cover. He felt his stomach twist recognising it for what it was. Anger rushed through him and quickly melted away again. He had no right.

“Go home, did you?” he asked, unable to mask the bitterness in his tone. 

Link looked at him, assessing where Rhett’s line of sight was directed and shifted his shirt some.

“Yes. I live there.” 

“Right.”

“I don’t owe you an explanation.” Link muttered, waiting for his computer to start up.

“I didn’t ask for one. It’s fucking obvious anyway,” he heard himself say.

Neither man spoke for a few moments. Rhett murmured an apology. “None of my business. Sorry.” 

“She is freaking out I’m gonna leave.” 

“So you fucked her?” he spat. Cringing at his own words.

“I don’t fuck my wife, Rhett. She needed, I, we... It’s none of your business.” 

“You’re right. It’s not.” 

“She wants us to talk.” 

“Perfect.”

“You know we are still meant to be going to that stupid fucking get together at your house tomorrow?” 

“Oh. That’s just great. It'll be so relaxed and chilled out. Celebrating our success. Fucking hell.”

Both men were quiet again. The usually comfortable silence nowhere to be found.

“Link.”

“If you are going to tell me you are sorry I’m gonna throw my computer at you.” 

“We have to talk.” 

“No. We don’t. We did that. You made yourself clear. And then you left me in North Carolina and came home to cry on Stevie’s shoulder.”

“Link...” 

“Rhett. I am serious.”

Again the room was filled with the heavy silence. 

“Let’s go out.” 

“And what? Make believe everything is fine?” 

“I love you.” 

Link sat staring across their desks at his oldest friend. Every smile line, every frown line on his face had been made over all of the days he had known him. 

He wanted to rage at him. Because Rhett didn’t really understand what loving him meant. But he knew that Rhett believed it when he said it. He could see that in every part of his face and every part of his body.

Link knew that if he reached for him now he would make love to him until he couldn’t remember his own name, or where he ended and Rhett began, but he also knew that afterwards. he would be lying alone, and Rhett would be mentally justifying his weakness and need as he drove away from him and the sin he represented.

So instead of yelling he felt himself beginning to cry and instead of fighting he stood and walked around their desks, hugged Rhett’s head against his stomach and ran his hand through his hair.

“Please, Rhett. Stop this.” 

“But, Link.” 

He watched their reflection in the glass of his Merle Haggard album collection that lined one office wall. He could feel his t-shirt getting damp from the other man’s tears and felt the walls come up again in his mind, locking into place.

“Shhh. Rhett. Please. Please. Stop this.”

“You don’t gotta tell no one Link. No one has to know. I mean. Look what your Daddy done. What you think Christy’s gonna say when she finds out about you?” 

Link closed his eyes, forcing himself to breath slowly. His hand still moving through Rhett’s hair as he held him close against his stomach. 

“I guess she might tell me to fuck off too, Rhett. But. I need her to know this about me. I’m so tired of feeling I’m some kind of sick and perverted person whether I act on it or not.” 

“But what about me?” 

“I can’t make your decisions, Rhett. I’m not gonna tell her about us. I promise. I won’t tell.” 

“But everyone’s gonna know,” his voice sounded desperate to them both. His arms holding Link tighter to him. “They all gonna know I love you. Want you. That I’ve been with you. Like that. I mean...Look at us, for fuck sake.” 

“I’m talking to Christy, Rhett. Not the crew. I can’t imagine her shouting it from the rooftops can you?”

“Please, Link can’t we just...can’t things stay like they are?” 

“No. They can’t now. I can’t. knowing how you feel about it. It’s…”

“But…” 

“Rhett. Stop it. I mean it. Just stop.”

“Link, I want you.” 

“How do you want me?” His voice quiet. “You want me to touch you?” 

“Yes.” 

“You wanna touch me too?” 

“Yes, please, Link.”

“Please find a way I don’t have to go to your house tomorrow. It’s gonna be a fucking nightmare. And don't tell me you want me when you only want the parts that feel good for you. All of me should. I'm worth it, Rhett. And I'm not sick for wanting all of you.” 

He untangled Rhett’s arms from his waist and moved back to his desk, drying his eyes before taking more pain medication and leaving the room to find a room to be in with Rhett not in it.


	13. Somewhere only we know

“Link.” 

The voice seemed to come from miles away, the gentle shaking barely registering amongst the tangled limbs and heat of Rhett moving against him. He knew something about this was no longer right, but he couldn’t stop thrusting into him, holding him as tightly as he could.

The voice again, calling his name, he murmured Rhett’s back but realised it was not Rhett’s as he had imagined, but a woman’s voice. His wife? His panic forced him awake, sitting up in bed almost before his eyes opened.

“Shhh. It’s ok Link. I just..” her hand was warm on his shoulder, guiding him back to laying down.

“I’m sorry, I…” he started, not sure exactly how much he needed to be apologising for.

“It’s fine, baby,” her hand stayed resting on his shoulder gently, “You have time for a longer shower this morning,” she paused glancing down before looking back up with a slow smile. “But we need to be leaving in about an hour. Jessie is expecting us at 11. And I thought you’d wanna say bye to the kids before they went to the sitter.” 

“What?” he asked as calmly as he could, his voice croaking from no use, well he hoped no use, his hand resting beside his cock to almost offer it comfort, that soon, just relax, soon. “Where?” 

“We’re celebrating you boys today, don’t you remember?” 

“That’s still happening?” he asked trying to keep the disbelief and dread out of his voice.

“Of course it is.” she replied, handing him his pain medication and a glass of water.

“Of course it is,” he muttered as he sat up and swung his legs over the side. His erection all but forgotten and considerably diminished at the thought of the coming hours. He took the offered tablets and waited until Christy had left the room before taking two valium tablets as well.

“What a fucking nightmare.”

He stood under the warm water, completing his shower routine on autopilot, the loofah sliding over his skin harshly in his anger and frustration, before he rinsed it under the water and hung it on its hook to dry. He paused with his hands over the faucet. Thinking back on the dream.

He leaned back against the wall, his hands behind his back, letting the water barely touch him. It managed to reach his hip but missed his dick, flowing over his left leg. His head back against the tiled wall. He remembered Rhett’s eyes burning his body as they travelled over him the numerous times he had stood like this for him. Offering himself, his hands restrained by his own body weight. His mind was beginning to feel a little groggy from the pain medication and he supposed the antianxiety pills as well. 

He had time apparently. And permission. Christy very rarely asked what he thought about when he spent time with himself, and he very rarely asked her.

He remembered Rhett in his dream holding him close, opening himself to him. Remembered the heat of him as he fucked him slowly. He felt himself beginning to respond and wasn't sure if that was good or bad. He tried to force his mind to only think about dream Rhett, who looked at him with such innocent and open love that it had nearly made dream Link cry. If he thought of real Rhett, he would likely end up crying now, and would certainly not be able to jerk off. So he thought about dream Rhett’s hands, and his strength, and his beard against his neck, and his hand around his own beautiful cock as Link slide in and out of him. 

Link’s hand moved to his dick, hard again already, it wouldn’t take long at all. Christy might not even assume he had needed to do anything about his problem. He drizzled body wash from a height over his dick, catching the excess in his palm beneath, closing his hand around himself. The coolness of the liquid felt nice with the heat of his hand, and soon it would all just be a soapy mess. He watched his hand moving slowly, up and down his length, his thumb across the head, squeezing sometimes, before moving back down. Remembering his hand on Rhett, Rhett’s hand on him. Not the dream version. But his best friend and he closed his eyes and tilted his head back, stroking faster, but not in excitement, but anger. His head banging softly against the wall, repeatedly. 

“Oh, fuck no,” he whispered to himself, trying to get dream Rhett back in his mind, and then he was. Riding Link’s cock nice and slow. Moaning loudly against his skin. He smiled a little, his hand slowing, wanting to linger in the bliss that he remembered from the dream. How good Rhett had felt, and looked and smiled. Whispering to him he wanted to come. Real Rhett asking Link if he could just a few days ago.

Link remembered telling him no. He had to wait. Until he was ready. Link’s fingers moving inside him in the shower as Rhett had moaned his name over and over, hand in his hair, guiding Link’s mouth over his cock. Told him to stop he was too close. 

And then later, tangled in sheets, telling him he was still ashamed of them, after all these years. That Link had to keep quiet about who he was, and that Rhett was not like him., he just loved Link.

Link clenched his other fist, groaning, needing to come now, he had come too far. He needed Rhett out of his mind. He couldn’t think of Christy. He had some ethics, skewed as they may or may not be.

He tried as hard as he could to get dream Rhett back because that version hadn’t hurt him and left him alone. That version wanted this. Wanted what Link needed.

But all he had in his mind was real Rhett’s mouth around him now, looking up at him, sucking him so well, even if he secretly hated himself for doing it. Link’s own hand fast on himself, angrily. Just wanting to come and get it over with. Not wanting to think of anything anymore. He was so close but so far. Link imagined Rhett watching him with make believe desire as he sucked Link’s cock. Link felt mildly nauseous instead of turned on, but still he had to keep going. He needed to come so bad it hurt. But it hurt so bad thinking of Rhett hating him now.

And then…. he decided to try. He thought about another man, because why the fuck not?

Clean shaven. His hair going down. Shorter than Link himself, maybe just under 6 foot. Nowhere close to Rhett. Eyes...maybe...closed. Who cares. Not Rhett’s. Not Rhett at all. Everything different. And he felt relief and then passion flow back through his body, the anger wash down the drain. He thought of this man licking and sucking him, moaning around him. Asking him to come in his mouth. This dark haired stranger wanted to taste him, all of him. Wanted to turn him around and fuck him, but he’d do this for Link first. His hands everywhere on his body while the wet warmth of his mouth stayed on his dick, taking him further and further into his mouth and closer and closer to his release.

Link imagined grabbing this man by his hair, pulling him off his cock, Shoving him over the nearest surface and fucking him hard. Harder and harder, wanting to make him scream, wanting to hurt him as he was hurting, and then it was Rhett again, holding himself open while Link pounded into him cursing his name.

He wanted to stop, he didn’t want to finish with Rhett fucking back onto him, but he came hard, waves of come landing on the glass on the opposite shower wall, groaning in pain more than pleasure, letting himself fall to his knees, still stroking, as quietly as he could, swearing and moaning and wishing he could just wake up again in a year's time, when all this might be done with. 

He wanted to punch something, but there was nothing safe he could hit, so he slid one and then two fingers inside himself before he had even realised what he was doing, his hand so slippery with the body wash and his own come, the water cascading over him, disguising his tears, as he moved on his hand, wanting it to hurt, physically. But, it felt really good, in ways that jerking off hadn’t. It had been rare that Rhett had fucked him. It was fairly rare that he would do that to himself. So he did it harder and harder until it did hurt, but it didn’t hurt anywhere near enough. And it still hurt too, too good to help him now.

He stopped, breathing hard, realising suddenly where he was. What he was doing and what he was meant to be doing and showered again quickly. Washing down the shower as well, making sure he hadn’t left any mess and then quickly towelled dry. His body shaking from the punishment he had given it, and the intensity of the earlier orgasm.

He looked at himself in the mirror, and he looked exactly as he felt. Broken and fucked. And stoned. Let’s not forget that.

He ran his hands through his hair, gave himself a wink and walked back to their bedroom, his towel low on his hips.

Some time later they stood outside the McLaughlin’s front door. Christy smiling and looking radiant as always, beautiful in fact in her long and flowing dress, and Link pretending he didn’t want to kill someone or himself, looked his usual self for the most part. Dark jeans, a black button-down shirt his wife had chosen and a slight drug induced smile on his face, his hand resting on the small of Christy’s back.

“I’m sure you’ll feel a bit better once you’ve had something to eat. Had a chance to relax and spend some time with friends,” she pushed his hair out of his eyes, kissing him gently. “Be careful with drinking, though, love. You look pretty out of it. In a sexy kind of way, I gotta say. That smile is making me think all sorts of grown-up thoughts. But, you are not driving on these pills.” 

“Mmm. You’re probably right. You usually are.” he smiled, kissing her softly and reached ahead of her to push the doorbell. “You can take advantage of me anytime, baby,” he added quietly in her ear causing her to laugh and take his hand.

The door was opened by Jessie, smiling up at them both. By far the shortest in the group married to the giant.

Loud and enthusiastic greetings ensued, Link becoming tangled with both women trying to say hello to Jessie. Everyone smiling broadly and laughing and for a few seconds he thought he could get through the day.

And then Rhett came around the corner in dark blue jeans, a deep red shirt and looking amazing as he walked slowly towards the group. Link realised he couldn't blink or breathe, let alone pretend there was no rift in their relationship right now or pretend that he didn’t want him. Climb up his body and kiss him until their lips bled. His eyes slowly traveled from his hips to his face, seeing the same panicked need in his best friends eyes, before they flicked to Christy and a smile appeared.

“Christy!” he boomed, smiling, and the repeat of enthusiasm and greetings was set off again, and then it was utterly silent and Link was looking up at Rhett, who seemed a mile away, smiling a little weakly.

“Hi, Linkster,” Rhett said quietly down at him while their wives smiled indulgently. Pride and love in their eyes as they watched their husbands. They were all here to celebrate the combined force their friendship brought to any endeavor after all. They were looking for some of the magic.

Link tried to remember if they usually hugged or shook hands at events with their wives, and then he was being pulled against him, his own hands coming up automatically to close around his waist, a sigh being pushed from his lungs.

“Hi, Rhett,” he said carefully closing his mouth before he could tell him how great he looked, how much he loved him and how grateful he was for having him in his life. Instead, he forced himself to pat his back a couple of times in a manly fashion and attempted to step back, but Rhett wasn’t letting go.

“Ah,” he let his arms hang limply at his sides. “Rhett.” 

Rhett released him. “Sorry, man. I was daydreamin’ I think.” 

“It’s the shirt,” laughed Christy smoothing the front of Link’s black shirt, smiling up at Rhett. “You look mighty fine yourself if your wife doesn’t mind me saying so. Come down here and give me a kiss.” 

He grinned, blushing slightly. “Maybe it is, yeah” he obeyed, leaning down and kissing her cheek, accepting the kiss in return.

The two men shared a look. L.A. You wouldn’t go around kissing another man’s wife in North Carolina and live to tell about it, that was for damn sure.

“Well, come through. We have…” started Jessie, and as he often did Link zoned out, relying on Christy to listen and direct him to where he needed to be. At least, today he had something of an excuse with the medication and all, though through all the years, she had never seemed to mind. Other things, absolutely. But his deferring to her in social settings she seemed to enjoy. guiding him to where he should be and who he should be speaking to.

Both men hung back, following their wives silently until Rhett rested his hand on Link’s shoulder heavily.

“You alright, Link?” 

“Sure, Rhett.” Link rolled his eyes. more for how own sanity than anything else, “I mean, what happened to getting us out of this?” 

“Salads had been made.” he looked down at him solemnly.

Link couldn’t help but smile a little. His hand coming to rest on Rhett’s hip.

“You alright, old man?” he asked and meant it. They were the best of friends after all and no matter what, he loved him. Knew he was loved, in some ways in return. Maybe in the ways the ultimately mattered.

“Guess I will be, yeah,” they both let their hands drop from each other. “You ah. You look nice, Link.” 

“Please, Rhett. Don’t tell me that,” he swallowed, adjusting the cuff of his shirt, annoyed again. “So do you, though, dang it. Really nice. Always liked that shirt on you.” and he meant it. Had to stop himself reaching over and touching it. He took another breath, continuing before he tried to come up with an excuse to get Rhett alone somewhere in this enormous mostly empty house, “Pity you’re an asshole.”

He managed to catch up to Christy without causing any kind of scene and they all agreed that they would eat outside much to Link’s relief. Rhett’s presence took up so much of the room, any room, indoors, he might have a chance of thinking about something else in the fresh air.

But he ended up seated across from him, their legs zippered, always close to touching, both men consciously trying to make sure they didn’t. He watched him over his glass of wine. He wanted him so bad it hurt all over again.

There had been a short but intense discussion around the table about the bruising on his face, Christy stating he had accidentally been hit by a stray fist, that yes, it was very painful still, and no, he was ok to have a drink, just forgive him should he fall asleep or say something especially stupid. They were now thinking he might need to get another set of x-rays. 

He tried listening to their conversation but was struggling a lot. He was not the best at paying attention in social situations as it was, but he was at an all time low. His heart would begin racing whenever he heard Rhett’s voice, and he would try to listen to the words, but only hearing him in his dream, whispering in his ear, “Faster please, Link, please,” which made him both aroused, angry and sad.

He cleared his throat and tried to sit up a little straighter. Christy’s hand resting on his own suddenly.

“You ok?” 

“I think so, yes. Sorry. I’m fine.” 

They ate a beautiful meal, complementing one another on the plates they had contributed, both Rhett and Link having the decency to look a little abashed that they had contributed nothing to the preparation.

It was someone’s fine idea for them to have a bit of a singalong after the food, so Rhett dutifully grabbed his guitar and began to play. Both Christy and Jessie singing with him as he played some Merle Haggard and mixing in some Johnny Cash. Link mostly watched and listened. He was feeling a lot less drugged, but the pain in his face was becoming almost unbearable. As was his need for the other man.

He glanced around the yard, across the decking that he and Rhett had finished a few weeks before with some assistance from a designer and builder. They were engineers for goodness sake. 

It had been a lot of fun and so far from their usual daily routine it had been something they had both looked forward to and spent a lot of time talking about on the way to and from work each day. The only point of friction when Rhett refused to allow them to use a nail gun, for obvious reasons and Link had become annoyed at smacking his thumb multiple times until finally he had cursed and thrown his hammer in anger causing the younger kids to all “Ooooohhhhhhh, Link said a bad word” at him, running inside to tell their Moms. Their only chance in a long time of being able to imply fuck out loud.

“Now, see Link. Imagine if that had been with the nail gun. You woulda nailed yourself.” 

They had exchanged a look. I’ll nail ya alright passing between them before he had laughed. 

“You do understand, my hand wouldn't be that close to where I would be bangin’.”

Again they had smirked.

“I understand the mechanics, Link. But I think there are a number of options for how to uh….handle the tools. Now, why don’t you go get your hammer out my bushes and get some work done?” 

They had both giggled a good long time over that one until Rhett managed to hit himself, and it had all became rather serious for the rest of that day.

“You staining it?” he asked, looking over at Rhett when the latest song had faded out, gesturing absently at the wood beneath them. 

“Yeah, I think we should,” replied Rhett carefully. “Would, uh, you like to help out?” 

“Yeah,” he stood carefully. “Anyone want a drink?” 

“Bring the bottle, love.” 

“Well, amen sista.” he muttered, causing both Jessie and Christy to laugh.

He came back out a short time later after detouring to the bathroom, placing the bottle carefully on the table after refilling everyone’s glass. “Why don’t you play a little Swayze?” 

“I love when you sing that,” Jessie said smiling at them both.

“I uh, don’t really remember the chords.”

Link held his gaze. “I think it starts in D,” he said as he sat down. “Then maybe E…” 

“Maybe later eh, Link?” 

“Whatever you want, Rhett. That’s fine,” he took a sip of his refreshed wine, watching Rhett over his glass. “Really, whatever you need.” 

“Link,” he started, hoping he was going to be able to shut this down before Link turned the sarcasm up to full volume.

“No, I have nothing further to say.” He took a mouthful, almost draining the glass entirely, “I will keep utterly silent, Rhett. You can count on it.” 

Rhett swallowed visibly, glancing at the both of the women at the table. 

“Do, uh. Do you need more painkillers?” 

“Hmm. Yes. I do.” he remained seated, looking across at Rhett. 

“Link?” Rhett put his guitar down against the planter box, glancing to Christy and then Jessie. “Can I, uh, borrow him for a minute?”

“How about you ask me?” Link said holding eye contact with him as Rhett stood, his head tilting back. Ending up feeling like a child. 

“Come on, buddy. We need to talk I think.” 

“Oh, you do?” 

Christy’s hand again found Link’s and gave it a squeeze assuming his overreaction was something to do with the medication, pain and alcohol cocktail. “Try relax love, everyone here loves you.” 

“Do they?” 

“Of course.” added Jessie.

“Fuck sake,” he stood, almost glaring at Rhett, but trying to pretend not to. “Fine. Rhett. You wanna talk? Fine.” 

Link turned missing the commiserating look Rhett was receiving from both the other women which was the only saving grace of the afternoon. He had the decency to not acknowledge it, moving around the table. His hand on Link’s back leading him into the house.

“So, what you wanna talk about, buddy?” Link started.

“Shut up Link. For fuck sake. Upstairs.” 

He walked, following the lead of Rhett’s hand on his back. Thirty years allowed for a lot of silent directions, the slightest change in pressure translating easily.

They ended up in a guest bedroom on the second floor, towards the front of the house, that Link had never seen furnished.

“Ok? What?” asked Link as he turned to look up at Rhett.

Rhett’s mouth crashed against his, his body slamming him against the nearest wall. 

“What in the fuck? Rhett?” his body betraying him as it always did. Relaxing into the manhandling as much as he wanted to fight against him. “You got no right, man,” he said as he kissed him back. Feeling both calm and crazy at the same time.

“Link. I. You. We are not meant to be apart.” 

“Fuck off of me. You can’t do this,” he muttered as he held him tightly to him, kissing him even as he was telling him to stop.

“You said whatever I need. I need this.”

“I was being facetious.” 

“You said you would keep quiet.” 

“Oh, fuck. Rhett. I… I can’t do this. Will…” they both stopped, Rhett stepping back from him. Link took a deep breath, adjusting his stance. His anger fueling his arousal and vice versa. “Ok. Rhett. What do you need? Hmm?” 

“I need you, Link.” 

“What about your sweet wife downstairs? You think she would be ok seeing her husband like this in your house? I mean look at you.”

“No.” he took a step back as if he had been slapped. But his hands moved to his shirt. Undoing his buttons.

“So what is it you want exactly?” 

“Anything you can give me. Please, Link. I can’t not have you. In my life. Like this. I need this.” 

“Be specific, Rhett. We don’t have a lot of time, and in case you haven’t noticed, I have zero fucking patience.” 

“I want you to fuck me.” Rhett’s voice wavered on the words, but he stared at Link with intent. “I know that you are hurt, and angry with me. And maybe I want you to take it out on me in a way that is gonna make you feel good.” 

“It’s not going to make me feel good, Rhett. You don’t understand at all.” 

“Link. I have loved you all of my life. I know you. I do understand.” he took a hesitant step forward. “And you look so good. So broken, but so fucking good, and I want to be the reason you leave today smiling.” 

“Then tell me I am ok. Tell me that you can ask me to fuck you, or whatever the fuck, and you are not gonna feel like shit afterwards for needing it.” 

“Of course you are ok. I just... What we do...Link. I mean. We’re married.”

“And yet here you are. Asking me to fuck you? In your home? Are you fucking crazy?” 

“Yeah. Maybe I am.” 

“I’m not going to fuck you today. Or any other for that matter. Rhett. We…” he was cut off again by Rhett’s mouth on his, his body being physically moved to the bed, perfectly made by Jessie goodness knows when. Thrown onto it, the weight of Rhett falling onto him as he fought beneath him.

“Get the fuck off.”

“Link. Please. I want you.”

“Rhett, you are behaving like a crazy person and an asshole.” feeling the other man undoing his jeans roughly.

“Please, Link. Please. I love you. Will you please please love me back.” 

“Fuck you, man. I’ll always love you, you fucking asshole. You want me now because I said I would be quiet for you? How about I fuck you so hard you scream? Huh? That would solve all my problems. Would that help you, Rhett?” His hand moving to Rhett’s jeans, rubbing his dick through his jeans, wanting him as much as he talked shit about him.

“Just,” Rhett’s lips firm against his neck, careful to not be leaving any marks, Link noted. “Fuck me Link…. Just, please, baby. One more time, I….” 

And that’s where it all stopped.

“One more, Rhett?” 

“Mmmm.”

“Get off of me, right now.” 

“Link?” 

“Oh, fuck off you selfish twit.”

“Link…. Please…. I just… I don’t know what the future is gonna bring...I need you now.” 

“Get off me. Please, Rhett. Just. We shouldn’t be doing this anyway. If you are after a grand finale, I’m not doing that here and now.” 

“But…” Rhett rolled off of him, looking across at him, “You might?” 

“Man, you're an asshole. Seriously. Yes. It appears I might.” he said as he adjusted his jeans. Trying to take some pressure from his erection.

“I could take care of that,” Rhett said quietly.

“You keep talking the rubbish you have been, and yeah, you can without even coming near.”

“Link wait!” and Rhett jumped up off the bed and held him again in his arms, but gently and without an ulterior motive, and tilted his head slowly and kissed him so deeply Link thought he might pass out.

“How,” he murmured against him, “How can you kiss me like this,” his tongue finding Rhett’s and all thought was forgotten for a time, “And be such an asshole?” 

“Because I do love you. I’ve always loved you, Link. But it’s just you. Don’t you see? Is that really so bad?”

“My face. Hurts,” he said quietly, meaning that he needed to disengage and take some medication, but Rhett held his head in his hands and kissed his face as gently as he could.

Link swallowed. Moving his hand to his neck. “Hurts.” 

Again Rhett kissed where Link indicated, gently. Standing tall again when he was finished and waited. Neither of them smiling. They were not playing a game right now. They were not trying to be cute.

Link’s eyes closed as he began opening his shirt. Annoyed at the tear falling from his eyes. Waiting until his shirt was hanging open before his finger indicated his collarbone...trailing down the center of his chest to his belt. 

“It all hurts, Rhett,” he said softly, watching as Rhett advanced. “Really bad.” 

“I know, honey.”

He could barely breathe as Rhett’s lips moved along the path his finger had indicated, kneeling as he went, holding his hips for balance, much too tall to be dignified about it, which made it all the sexier as far as Link was concerned.

Rhett’s fingers again at the button on his jeans but Link knelt in front of him too, holding him against him, kissing his mouth and neck and chest before holding him tightly, wordlessly for a time.

“We can’t do this now, Rhett. It’s not right, On any level. At all. I’ll behave. I will. I won’t talk shit about you in front of our wives. I shouldn’t have been doing that.”

“I should have had this rescheduled at least. Link, I’m so sorry.” 

“Hmm. Just. Maybe shut up huh? And hold me a minute. I like you a lot more when you don’t try to make me feel better.”


	14. The Hardest Part

Rhett and Link sat beside one another at the GMM desk, both glancing at the monitor compulsively, partly to make sure they were looking ok, but, more importantly, to check on their co-host. The makeup on Link’s face was fairly good, and it would take a very dedicated mythical beast to detect he was wearing more than normal. It would not take a genius, however, to detect the tension between them, despite them doing the best they could to be professional and stay firmly in their public personas.

They had managed to film three episodes so far, but the latest one required a lot more casual ad lib, and neither man was feeling remotely in the mood. Every time Link made eye contact with Rhett he wanted to kiss him and every time Rhett made eye contact with Link he wanted to know why the fuck he wouldn’t just do it.

The latest picture on the screen for them to comment on had drawn a blank from them both and both men were becoming visibly uncomfortable with the silence. Stevie stood and stopped filming for the day.

“That’s enough, guys. We can get the rest tomorrow.” 

Link remained seated at the desk, pretending to be unaffected by Rhett leaving the set quickly and disappearing to goodness knows where.

“Link, you have a minute?”

He followed her out to the carpark, her dog Enzo in tow. 

“Sorry, he needs to pee.” 

“I won’t judge you on your conversation accessory choices, Stevie.” he pushed his glasses up his nose as the door closed behind them, “I have a snickers bar in my pocket.”

“Bet you say that to all the girls.” she paused ever so slightly before adding, “And boys.” she glanced to make sure he smiled before continuing, “How’re you doin?” 

“You want the canned answer?”

“No. I brought my boss out to watch my dog take a leak because I think it will be a good career move. I’m asking sincerely.” 

“Bad. I mean. Ok. But. Bad.”

She waited, looking at him with a neutral expression.

“We had a family thing. That I asked him to get us out of. Admittedly, both Christy and Jessie had already put a lot into it, apparently. But.” he watched Enzo trotting along beside them. Blurting out the banner statement in his head, knowing that he shouldn’t, “Rhett wanted me to fuck him.” 

“Woah, a little too much info, Link,” muttered Stevie, but in for a penny and all that. She didn’t really care unless her mind started imagining it, and then….ew.

“Sorry. He wanted, us to, “connect” at his house. With our wives downstairs. Just one last time. He loves me.” 

“What??” she stopped, Enzo looking up quizzically, this was not anywhere near where he would pee. “Uh…” 

“No. I didn’t. I mean. I might have a few weeks ago if we were good, to be honest. I would have then as well if he hadn’t said, one last time. I mean.” he kicked a stone along the path. “You’ve seen him, right? I mean...” 

“Lesbian,” she said. “But, I will take your word for it.” 

“And then he said…” he stuffed his hands into his pockets and took a breath. “He said, that he wasn’t like me, but he loved me, just me and wasn’t that a good thing too? And I…” he turned to her, “I mean, it kinda is isn’t it?” 

Stevie's eyes widened in a, I am not qualified for this, expression, before blinking and clearing her throat. “Yes. I guess, that is, uh. Maybe...sweet?” her tone clearly showing him she had no fucking clue what she was talking about but was trying, “Or...uh. It’s delusional. You can’t fuck a dude without kinda being ok with the penis part. Surely? Especially if it is going to be in your butt? Maybe I am being too lesbian talking about men. But. I would kinda think. I mean the butt. And the penis. I mean, multiple penises really…. God….And...” 

“Stevie, a bit too much information. And really, you are thinking about way too many cocks in your condition,” he cut in before she started vomiting on her little dog. 

“Your orientation is not a condition, Link.” 

They both smirked a little, before he continued, stopping himself being too specific about what either of them did or didn't like, “He’s fine with...uh...whatever we are doing. At the time. He is just not ok about it later. I think. I mean, I do believe that he loves me, in his way. And, wants to be with me.” 

“Butt?” she sniggered unintentionally. “Sorry. But,” they both laughed a little. Both with an edge of hysteria, “Uh….however?” she tried.

He rolled his eyes but continued on as seriously as he could, because he really needed to talk. “He makes me feel sick and ashamed. And I knew, but never outright asked, you know, and now I wish I hadn’t.”

“That doesn’t strike me as healthy. For either of you. But, Link? I guess, there are a lot of people that fall in love with the person and not the gender and are attracted to the body attached to that person, because they are in love. So. Maybe. It is a good thing too, now that I reverse it and apply it to girls I have dated. I mean, some of them had never dated girls, and sometimes go back to dating men. But they liked me plenty at the time. I mean. It’s a complex thing.” 

“Irrespective of that. Rhett, I mean. I’ve decided to not speak with Christy about the whole orientation thing.” 

“Oh?” 

“I’m not really ready to face all that right now. After Dad’s reaction, and Rhett’s for that matter, I’m not all that excited to go through it again. But she wants us to talk. And I’m stalling. I have a good enough reason being half asleep on meds. But I can’t stay on these forever.” 

“Well, you could. But I wouldn’t advise it.” 

“That your professional opinion Ms Levine?” 

“I’m gonna stop saying rubbish out my mouth. I’m sorry, Link. This whole thing is kinda heavy.” 

“Yeah.”

They wandered along in companionable silence for a while, watching her dog trotting along being amusing, simply for being a little dog out on the serious business of finding somewhere to pee.

“There’s a bar I go to sometimes.” She started hesitantly, “With my girlfriend. If you wanted to be around like-minded people in a safe space?” 

“A gay bar?” 

“Well, sort of. Yeah. There’s a restaurant and attached club.” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Stevie.” 

“Well, we’re going with some friends tomorrow night, if you would like to come along for a while. You don’t have to sit there with a rainbow flag on your head, but it's a safe space. And, there are a lot of straight people that go with gay friends, so there would be no automatic assumptions. It might be good to try and relax a little. Get away from real life.” 

He was quiet for a long while, watching Enzo because he was safer than looking at Stevie.

“I’ll think about it. I mean, I’m your boss. Won’t it be weird?” 

“Oh it will be weird alright, but let’s do it anyway,” she said smiling broadly. Link needed to see that he was ok, as far as she was concerned. That it wasn’t any kind of thing to be ashamed of. Excluding the infidelity aspect. Which he really should be plenty ashamed about, in Stevie's opinion, but she kept that to herself. He didn’t strike her as a complete idiot.

 

She popped her head around the corner of their shared office the following day, glancing at Rhett and then Link and let him know they would be going that night if he was going to be free.

“Yeah. I’ll be there. Uh. Can I grab a lift? I don’t wanna take my car.” replied Link, a little annoyed she had asked him in front of Rhett and assumed it had been intentional.

“Sure. You ok to get a cab home?” 

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine.”

Rhett looked at him steadily over his computer once she had gone, waiting.

“It’s a homosexual thing, Rhett. You wouldn’t be interested.”

“And, since when are you?” 

“Pretty sure we have had this talk.” 

“And your wife?” 

“She’s exactly where she was when you were sucking my dick. Do you really wanna try using her as a way to hurt or control me?” 

“Can’t we talk?” 

“No.” 

“Have you told her…?” 

“No.” 

“Then, why can’t we hang out.” 

“We are hanging out, Rhett. Right now.” 

Rhett glared across at him. Link meeting his gaze with a deadpan expression. “Oh, you mean why won’t I fuck you?” 

Rhett glanced towards the door. “Do you have to be a jerk about it?” 

“Ah, yeah Rhett, because you fucked me. Well and truly. For years. No matter who happened to be taking it up the ass.”

And yet again he found himself walking out of their office to find somewhere Rhett was not. Tired of running away from him, but also sick of having the same conversation over and over, and equally tired of saying hurtful things to him.

 

Although Link had spent the remainder of the day worrying about it, the evening, for the most part, was uneventful. It helped that Link had socialized with many of Stevie’s friends in the past during their long friendship, and there was nothing about the restaurant or the club that was inherently worrying to him.

He did keep in mind that it was a ‘work’ event, despite the fact it wasn’t, to stop himself behaving inappropriately in front of Stevie. But he looked around and took note. He danced with a few people, some within Stevie’s circle of friends, some outside. The outsiders made his heart race in both fear and desire while the insiders made him laugh and relax, and he craved more of both.

After a couple of hours, he made his excuses and made his way home, thanking Stevie for thinking of him, and letting her know he had had a good time. He crawled into bed next to Christy after taking a couple of pain pills and a valium to help him sleep. She muttered in her sleep that he was cold and to not touch her. He ignored her and held her anyway, figuring it would not take long for his limbs to warm up, knowing she would only try to shove him away half-heartedly. He kissed her ear, earning him a murmur in her sleep, but it was still edged with annoyance from him being so cold.

“I’ll warm up soon baby, just give me a little time.”

 He fought the urge to hold onto her too tightly. He thought back on the evening and knew that it would only be a matter of time before he would go back. Without Stevie.

He stood outside the club after another long and painful day at work three weeks later. Holding his phone in his hand. Rhett’s name on his screen, his thumb hovering over the call icon.

He stood outside the club after another long and painful day at work three weeks later. Holding his phone in his hand. Rhett’s name on his screen, his thumb hovering over the call icon. He missed him so much that he was sure he was speaking his name in his sleep again if some of the looks Christy had been giving him in the morning recently were anything to go by.

That morning she had looked on the verge of asking something marriage altering, so he had ducked out as fast he could, claiming the cab had arrived, when he, in fact, hadn’t called it and ended up walking two blocks so he could sit by the side of the road and wait for the taxi without her seeing him. Which he felt more guilty for than he had ever felt about having sex with Rhett. Loving him.

He looked up at the building again, and down at his phone, locking the screen and slipping it back into his pocket heading in decisively. He bypassed the restaurant, heading straight to the club, ordering a drink and slipping into a booth.

He realized that he was older than the majority of patrons by a good ten years in most cases, but he also recognized that he was getting plenty of attention. He hoped that not all of that was from recognition, but guessed that some might be. He took a long drink, trying to appear casual but not distant. Open to being there, but not necessarily gay.

It wasn’t long before a man quite close to his own age approached and slid in next to him, offering a hand. On his thigh. Very high.

Link flinched slightly and looked at him hard.

“Hi.” the other man said.

“No.,” said Link edging away, keeping his own hands on the table.

“Sorry,” his hand appeared above the table, held out in an offer of a handshake, “My name’s…..” 

“No. I uh. No.” cut in Link, wanting nothing to do with him, holding his own hands tightly together.

“Your loss man.” 

“Sure,” said Link. Doubting he would lose any sleep at all over that as he watched the other man walk away.

He took another sip of his beer, playing with his phone on the table. Seeing Rhett’s name flash on the screen. An SMS.

_Link, I tried calling you at home. Where are you?_

_Busy. Is it urgent?_

Another man slid into the booth, hesitantly, keeping a good few feet between them. Easily enough for Rhett to fit Link thought automatically.

“You mind?” the other man asked.

“No.” Link offered his hand, “Charles.” 

“Hi, Charles. I’m Alex.”

He shook his hand firmly, noting it was dry and warm, before glancing quickly at his screen.

_I want to see you. We need to talk. Please, Link._

“Hi.” he took another mouthful of beer, looking over the bottle, aiming for calm, appearing comical instead.

“Guess you don’t come here often.” said the other man.

“No. Not often.”

_And say What???_

He replied, trying to keep his expression casual, his heart racing. 

Every time he had agreed to talk over the past weeks, they would have the same conversation. Rhett wanting things to go back to how they were, Link wanting him to not feel so ashamed about him, give him some kind of guarantee that he wouldn't hate himself or Link for how felt about each other. That he wouldn't look at him how he always had after the lust had been satisfied. That same look he had had way back when they were just kids, and still had now, regardless of how loving and needy he was before and during, afterwards that same look from that very first morning after would flick over his face before he would disappear away from Link and by the time they saw one another again, he would have had it under control. Be able to meet Link's eyes without flinching. 

He turned off his phone but kept spinning it on the surface. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” Alex asked after what he thought might be a polite pause.

“Can…” Link looked him over slowly. He looked as far from Rhett as possible, shorter of course, but then almost everybody was brown eyes and hair. Clean shaven with a wonky kind of smile that always reached his eyes. He looked easy going and not like a serial killer, which was really the sum of Link’s requirements. “Can I. I mean, can we go somewhere else?” 

“Oh?” 

“I don’t wanna be… uh....Forward. But.” he fiddled unconsciously with his wedding ring, only then realising he was still wearing it. Fuck sake. 

“You’re on borrowed time this evening?” 

“Something like that.” 

“I mean, I live close to here if you wanted to… uh… come back.” 

Link looked at him steadily. “Yeah. I do.” 

“Charles, I’m. I mean... you look like a nice guy, but are you any kind of crazy?” he asked seriously as if a crazy serial killer would be honest and say, well since you asked. 

“I think I might be a little bit,” he started, and then continued slowly, hoping he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt, “I have only slept with one man my whole life. I uh….I need...to….uh...change that. I’m not gonna be back here. I’m not looking for or wanting to start any kind of trouble. I’m just.” 

“Ok, ok, Charles,” Alex cut in gently and stood offering his hand. “Come on then. I can help you.” 

Link ignored his hand but followed him out of the bar and down the street.

“Are you crazy?” he asked, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets.

“No. I’m lonely today is all.” he stated matter-of-factly, “You’re very attractive. Could’ve done a lot better than me.” 

Link glanced over at him. “You’re...uh. Exactly what I’m looking for.” 

“That’s sweet of you to say.” 

“I’m not being sweet. I’m just being honest.” 

“Can I be honest?” 

Link swallowed. “I dunno, can you?”

“I thought you would laugh at me wanting to buy you a drink, let alone, you asking me if we could go somewhere else.” 

“Right. Well.” Link felt himself blushing. He had never been so single-minded in his life. “Here we are right? Let’s just, uh. be thankful for the things we’re glad about.” 

Link frowned slightly, unsure if that had made any sense at all. Rhett would have told him.

“It’s just up here.” 

Link began thinking clearer as he followed him up the third flight of stairs. This was so disconnected from his life. From his beliefs. From the justifications, he had made over the years regarding Rhett and his infidelity. Which he still believed were true, but they didn’t remotely apply here. What in the world was he doing? Was he going to cheat on his wife? Was he also cheating on Rhett?

“I uh, have a flatmate, but she won’t be home for hours.” 

“Right.” Link mumbled.

Alex stopped at a red door and unlocked it, pushing the door open for Link to enter ahead of him.

He glanced at the slightly shorter man before edging past and into the apartment. It was clean and tidy. Dated in a non-retro kind of way. Link didn’t hate it, and it didn’t appear to be big enough to store any kind of freezer or killing room. 

He stopped and turned in the center of the living room, feeling a lot bigger than he usually did in the relatively small space and in relation to the man in front of him.

Alex stepped closer to him, his hands moving across his shirt, up his stomach and chest.

“Is this alright?” 

“Yes,” said Link quietly, looking down at him trying to appear confident, but he only knew how to make love to Rhett. Would this man want the same things? Would he be able to give Link what he needed?

“Do you want a drink?” he asked again.

“Can I be honest, Alex?” he heard himself saying, and suddenly he didn’t feel afraid at all. There were only two answers to every question he needed to ask of this man, for the remainder of the time he was with him. Yes, or no. And either way, Link had zero emotional investment in the answers. Yes or no. It was early enough. He could go back and get what he needed with someone else if he had to.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” 

“I want you on your knees,” said Link slowly, his voice quiet, lower than usual. “Will you do that for me?” 

Alex tilted his head and looked at Link, thinking hard, eventually asking “And?” 

“I want you to suck my dick.” the words harsh to his own ears, but his tone was gentle, the slightest hint of an accent.

“Ok, I can do that for you,” Alex replied with a lopsided grin, his hands resting on Link’s stomach.

“And, then I wanna fuck you.” Link added, less quietly, but still slowly. running his hands through the other man’s shaggy hair, smiling a little at how it flopped back in place no matter how he moved it.

“I’d, uh, really like that.”

“Hmm,” replied Link, not needing to be a genius to know that Alex would like that, “and then I want. I want you to fuck me. I think. As hard as you can.” he said, the only sign of hesitancy from him at those words.

“I don’t usually top.” the other man said quietly, kissing Link’s neck as he unbuttoned his shirt, his hands feeling very foreign against Link’s skin.

“I don’t normally bottom,” replied Link as he kissed him as softly as he could manage. “It might be fun.”

“Sure, I can do that. I mean...I dunno how good it will be.” 

“I’ll tell you exactly what I need, ok? Don’t worry. But, kneel for me first?” asked Link again, his hands at his belt undoing it decisively for the other man. 

“Yes.”

He had thought he would feel guilty, but all he felt was aroused and in control after weeks of feeling lost, and then he felt the heat and tongue dragging along the underside of his cock before the mouth closed around him and he was lost for a while in bliss. 

He nearly collapsed to the floor in relief. He wanted to kiss the man at his feet for making him feel something other than nauseous but was too scared to move at all. Terrified if he changed anything he would start to remember.

But, all too soon he was digging the heels of his hands into his eye sockets to stop anything from leaking out. He stood with Alex holding his hips, his mouth moving so expertly over him, his hands against his face, not realizing he was muttering quietly to himself, even as his hips moved, he was not going to think of him. He was going to do this and it was going to make him feel better. Valid. Healed. Seen. And if Alex could manage it, punished. 

He pulled his medication from his pocket and dry swallowed some painkillers and then pulled the valium from the other and took two of them to calm his nerves even though he remembered it was too soon for more of either. The other man paused while he did this but didn't move away.

“Pain medication. Prescription. I forgot to take them earlier, sorry. Please.” 

Link showed him the bottle, shielding his surname, not wanting him to think he was any kind of sick. Alex smiled up at him, licking him slowly, deciding to trust Link’s explanation, taking him back in his mouth. Link’s fingers tangled in the other man’s hair, as he watched him until his image blurred from the medication rather than tears, telling Alex he was doing a good job, and it felt good. Because he was, and it should have been.


	15. Baby, can I hold you tonight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unsafe drug use, homophobia, questionable consent.

The following day was Andy's first day on the job. Both Rhett and Link were nervous about how to deal with him, but Link had already decided to just own up should it look like he had no choice. Not regarding Rhett obviously. But would create some random guy. It wasn't utterly outside the realms of possibility now. 

But the young man seemed to have accepted his story that he had dreamed that they had been in the cubicle beside his at the opening party and was very enthusiastic to be part of the team. Sober too, which was a nice touch. He approached Link just before lunch, thanking him for giving him another chance and apologizing for his behavior at the party. Link reassured him that it was fine and that he and Rhett were looking forward to seeing what he could bring to the team.

He excused himself, leaving the new intern with Rhett and called a taxi, still on the pain medication, and so not really ok to drive, although he was driving more and more. 

After a short ride he ended up at the club again. He walked in confidently this time. He had no right at all to be there. But he needed more. He took more medication on the way in, despite being unsure exactly how long ago he had taken the last dose. He was feeling a little dozy so he supposed not all that long ago, but he knew doubling up wouldn't cause him serious issues, he was doing it fairly often now. He rationalized that he wasn't driving and he was needing to relax. He hoped it would reduce the chances of him getting seriously hurt.

Within fifteen minutes he was on his knees, sucking another man's dick, moaning around him despite feeling nothing but sick and confused. His hand clinging his hip to help keep him upright, feeling very affected by the pills. Maybe it hadn't been very long at all? He got to his feet shakily once the other man was hard enough, being pulled by his hair, more roughly than he was expecting and bent over the nearest suitable surface, handing back the condom and lube, his jeans pulled roughly down his thighs. 

Within moments, he was lost. His mind cleared of everything but the pain and the pleasure and the pain. Link still wasn't aroused, but it felt good sometimes, in an intense kind of way. And when it didn't, he was getting what he wanted. Pain he could understand. The other man held his hips firmly as he fucked into him. This man’s hands were much smaller than Rhett’s but he was strong and didn’t care if he was hurting Link or not. Neither did Link.

“Harder.” he mumbled, wanting all thoughts of Rhett pounded out of him if that’s what it was going to take.

He held his breath, trying to keep all the pain inside himself, but he eventually had to take a breath and exhale a groan that was close to a scream. “Don't, don't stop, please,” he said quickly when he felt the man hesitate briefly from his thrusting. 

“Man, I'm gonna come soon. You feel so fuckin’ good.” Said a breathless voice so different from Rhett's that Link felt suddenly afraid, and dirty and perverted, getting seriously fucked in a bathroom by a random man because he didn't look like Rhett and Link needed to scream. Maybe he had deserved that look from Rhett all along. The one that was ashamed of him. Of them both.

But no matter his reasons, he felt deep down that he shouldn’t be there, but instead of freaking out and leaving he braced himself against the wall, cursing himself under his breath about how much less of a man he was than anyone else, that his father was right, he was a fag and a girl and a wimp and not a real man and pushed back onto the stranger again and again and again until he didn't care anymore. And when he felt the other man come, he didn't care about that either, or being pushed roughly to the ground, hitting his back against something hard before laying there a moment, mildly confused as to why the other man had felt the need to do that in particular, but ultimately, it didn't matter. He still didn't care. And losing Rhett, maybe never really having Rhett, still hurt more than anything that man had done. So he got to his feet, hauling his jeans up, finding his phone on the bathroom floor behind the toilet and with a distasteful expression on his face brought it to his ear and called a taxi. 

Link walked gingerly back into the office, only ten minutes later than usual, Rhett looking up and staring.

“Where have you been?” 

“Ten minutes, Rhett. You can take it out my wages. Taxi was late getting me.” 

“Link.” He stood and walked towards him, causing Link to shy away a little unconsciously. “You look sick.”

“I'm fine.” 

Although he wasn't sure if he was. He felt sick, and he was in a lot of pain regardless of how many pills he took. Taking more while waiting for the taxi, and maybe some during the ride back. He grabbed the antibacterial wipes and started cleaning his phone, somewhat compulsively, becoming more uncoordinated in his movements. Blinking to clear his vision. 

Rhett watched him go through ten wipes before he rested his hand on his forehead. “You're sweating.” 

“So what?” he said and ducked away from the other man’s hand, trying to put some distance between them, “I went to the gym.” 

“You look ill. You're really pale. Have you eaten?” Rhett was bringing to think he was drunk. Hid movements sloppy, his speech becoming more and more slurred and hard to decipher.

“Oh, piss off, Rhett. I'm fine. God.” 

“The gym?” Rhett asked incredulous, finally hearing the words Link had said.

“Sure, why not. People do it.” 

“Did you go home?” he asked.

“No? Rhett just leave me alone.” 

“You should. Take a shower. Maybe cool off or something. You look like you might have a fever or something. I'll make you a sandwich.” 

Link stood trying to think of something to say, came up empty, so found himself standing in the shower a few minutes later. Whimpering a little. He was mildly worried something might have been damaged. He didn't feel well and he was already feeling the bruises from where the other man had held him still. He was too scared to look to see how noticeable they would be. His back was hurting and he had some pain that he thought might be his kidney.

Quite the coming out story.

He sat in the bottom of the shower, the cocktail of medications kicking in again, at last, making everything better. Or at least, gone. He lay down, letting the water dance over him. Sighing into the room. Not hearing the door as he closed his eyes.

“Link?” 

“No.” he muttered.

He flinched back across the floor to the far wall of the shower cubicle, blinking at the giant of a man trying to touch him. 

“I said no.” he tried more assertively, but his speech sounded slurred even to himself.

“Link? You’re. Something’s wrong, Link. Where were you?” 

Link said nothing, just moved further away from the other man. He couldn’t do that again today, although his voice sounded kind.

“Can’t.”

“Link?’ Rhett said gently. And then Link was gone again, drifting down and down and life was warm and fuzzy and nobody hated anything about him, he wasn’t hurting anybody, nobody was hurting him because nothing mattered at all. He smiled weakly, murmuring incoherently. 

Rhett picked up his jeans from the floor, checking his pockets for any indication of what was going on. All he found were pain meds and, what was that? Valium? He checked the bottle, prescribed to Charles Neal. He checked the remainder of his pockets. The small card holder he had in lieu of an actual wallet. Link very rarely carried cash. He flicked through this almost absently, having no expectation that it would hold any answers, but a card fell out.

Link’s handwriting, a man’s name - Dave, and what looked like a local number on the back of an otherwise unmarked card.

Rhett looked back down at his best friend who he realized was actually asleep in the bottom of the shower and looked back to the medication bottles.

He checked the issue date and the number of pills given and finally the number of pills in each bottle. He knelt beside Link, not caring that he was getting wet, shaking him gently, and then not so gently.

“Link!” 

He waited a few seconds and shook him again. “Link! Come on man.” 

The noise Link made wasn’t any kind of word that Rhett could understand and Rhett couldn’t even tell if it was a positive or negative sound. Only that it meant he was breathing and responsive. He stood and shut off the water, grabbing a towel and covered Link with it. His feet sticking out the end like a small child breaking Rhett's heart a little more. He had done this.

He got down on his hands and knees, trying to get close to Link’s face and caressed his head.

“Link, baby. We gotta get you outta here.” He leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “Link, I never meant to hurt you so bad. I, I’ve always love you, man.” 

Link stirred a little, his eyes flicking open before shutting the bright light out quickly.

“No, no more today. I can’t. Hurt.” 

“What hurts Link?” 

“Everything.”

“Will you come with me? I don’t want anything I promise. Just to help you get warm and sleep, ok? Link, it’s me, ok? Rhett.” he waited and Link’s hand came out from beneath the towel, seeking his. He took it carefully. “ I made you a sandwich,” he said meekly.

“Mmm. Tired Rhett.”

“I know, buddy. Will you help me get you somewhere else? Then you can sleep for as long as you need?” 

“Yeah, ok.” Link mumbled at the floor, “Rhett?” 

“Yeah, it’s me.” 

“Ok.” 

With a lot of difficulty and false starts he finally managed to get Link to his feet, and out of the shower stall, wrapping the towel as best, he could around him. He fished his phone out of his own pocket and called Stevie, promising himself he would never involve her again.

She soon came, helping to shepherd Link to their office without the entire crew seeing him.

“What happened?” 

“I don’t know Stevie. He went out for lunch, came back a mess.” 

“I think he is taking a few too many pills for starters.” 

“Do you?” 

“Well, look at him. He’s stoned isn’t he?” 

Rhett looked down at him, letting himself really see him for the first time in a long while.

“Yeah, I guess he is. But I don’t think that’s all.” 

“Heartbroken? Terrified?” 

“Please, Stevie. I know, ok?” he looked at him again, and then back up at Stevie, deciding to voice what they were both thinking. “He’s overdosed hasn’t he?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

She left them once they were safely behind closed doors agreeing to keep her phone close in case Rhett needed anything further. Both firmly agreeing they didn't want to involve the hospital if possible. Hoping that he would be a lot better by home time so Christy wouldn’t have to know and worry. Rhett would stay with him and monitor him. If he became any more sedated they would have to take him in. 

He dried his upper body slowly while keeping a second towel wrapped around his waist. 

“I’m not gonna dress you much, Link, but you should probably be dry at least. Do you mind?” 

“Nah. Rhett. I don’t,” he speech hard to understand but not impossible as he raised his hands and rested them on his broad shoulders as Rhett knelt in front of the couch between Link’s knees.

“Link,” 

“Shhh. I like you more when you aren’t tryin’ ta make me feel better by sayin’ something dumb, ‘member?” 

“I do, yeah.” 

He took Link’s hands and rested them in his lap before standing and carefully drying him down.

“You want a t-shirt or something?” 

“Nah.” 

“Um?” Rhett gestured at Link’s lower half, unsure how to proceed or if he should.

Link managed to drag the towel off his body. moving this way and that, drying some as he went. Wincing from time to time. Rhett took the towel from his hands as he collapsed back against the back of the couch, his hands either side of his body, palms upturned.

“I’m so tired, Rhett.” 

“I know, buddy.” He knelt and began drying his lower legs and feet. “You gonna tell me what happened?” 

“I had sex with a random guy, last night.” 

Rhett swallowed, and kept drying him, working his way up his body across his thighs. “Oh.” 

“And I let some other man fuck me today. I bent over and...” 

“Why?” Rhett cut in, trying to keep his voice level, to not get angry, but he felt a building rage that he was sure was going to spill out unwanted.

“Because that’s what I like, Rhett. Men. And sex and…” 

“No, Link, it’s not. Not like that.” 

“I wanted it to hurt, Rhett.” 

“Did he hurt you?” 

“Yeah. I told him to.”

“Link?” 

“Shh. ‘Member.” 

“Do you need to see a doctor?” 

“No.” 

“Bleeding?” 

“I dunno. Bruises, I guess.” 

“Link, fuck. What the fuck are we gonna do?” 

“Shhh, Rhett.” replied Link, his voice betraying his close he was to crying.

“Ok, Link. I’ll be quiet. But, you. You gotta let me lay with you.” 

“Rhett, please I can’t…” 

Rhett had flipped the large coffee table, throwing it halfway across the room before he was aware he was even going to move at all. Wishing it was the men who had touched Link. The sound was massive in the converted industrial space, everything that had been on the surface racing to the edges of the room, the table itself crashing back to the ground and skidding along the floor, leaving a scratch they would never be able to get rid of, but spend countless hours staring at. 

Link flinched into the back of the couch, murmuring oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, as his arms came up across his face to protect himself, Rhett sure it was only Stevie’s doing that the whole crew weren’t in there to find out what had happened.

“No. no, Link. I’m sorry. I wouldn’t…” he stopped, Because he would hurt him he realised. He only had to look at him to know that was true. But, not in the ways that he could heal from in a few days, albeit superficially. It seemed he could only hurt him in the ways that would lead him to fuck strangers and hurt himself and hate himself and hate Rhett as well.

“I wasn’t asking you for sex, Link. I want to hold my best friend a while, ok?” 

“I’m naked.” Link said, lowering his arms to the couch, making no attempt to cover himself.

“I’m not.” said Rhett, as he pushed off his shoes.

“Seems unfair.” said Link, his eyes finally meeting Rhett’s, miles above him.

“Sandwich?” asked Rhett.

“Will you take off your clothes?” 

“Will you eat my sandwich?” 

Link’s lips twitched, but he nodded without saying anything.

Rhett watched him eating, trying to not think about what he had told him. He hated the thought that someone else had touched him. Had he kissed them? Held them? Would he fall in love with someone else?

“Link?” 

“Clothes. I’m stuck now.” he took a deep shuddering breath, his eyes trying to find Rhett’s, “It’s inappropriate but, all I can think about is you naked.” he speech was still messy, but his eyes were a little clearer. 

So Rhett wiped Link's mouth with his towel when he has finished eating and striped unhurriedly in front of the other man. He watched Link's eyes follow his hands and each article of clothing as Rhett dropped them on the floor, before they would shift back to the expanse of skin he had revealed, then to his face and then back to his hands. Until finally Rhett arranged himself behind Link, holding him close to his chest, every part of his skin that touched the other man's blazing with excited nerve endings and heat. He concentrated on keeping his breathing controlled and his mind on other things, not hearing Link the first time he spoke.

“Rhett, can we swap? Rhett?” 

“Uh, sure.” 

Rhett mentally shuddered thinking about why Link might be struggling but fought down his natural response for now. Maybe they could talk about that another time, or maybe it was really none of his business.

After some tangled shuffling and nervous giggling from both of them, Link’s back was hard against the back of the couch, with Rhett firmly against his chest. And Stomach. And thighs. His hand rested across his chest as it had countless times before, absentmindedly playing with the light hair on his chest. Kissing his shoulder blade before closing his eyes. Noticing Rhett’s sharp intake of breath, and unable to stop himself from smiling for just a second, before he remembered why they were here.

But he opened his eyes again, the room still fuzzy around the edges, the heat of Rhett against him making him feel safe and scared. Feeling Rhett’s heart racing beneath his hand was making him nervous too, and brave. 

He was scared he was going to do something stupid. And was equally scared he wasn’t sure what stupid would be. Doing nothing, or doing something. Despite his repeated statements of I can’t do that, he had not been expecting to be laying naked against Rhett either.

His eyes suddenly widened when he realized his hand was closing around Rhett. That Rhett was hard in his palm as his fingers curled around him. Almost as familiar as himself. He moved closer to him, not that there was any space between the two of them for him to be able to, but he felt Rhett lean heavier against him as well, his breath coming out in a sigh with his name.

“Oh, Link, you…” 

“Shhh. Remember, Rhett. I know I don’t gotta do nothing. Just. Shhh, and don’t say anything dumb.”

Link's body remembered this man. Ever vein and ridge and the smoothness of his skin and how he would breathe if Link moved his hand on him like this, and how his entire body would freeze if he moved his thumb over him like that. So he did both to make sure that at least that was still true. His kissed his back while Rhett swallowed all the words Link would consider dumb, lying as still as he could, not wanting Link to feel obligated to continue.

Link shifted behind him, enough to kiss his shoulder, his hand still stroking him gently, his elbow nudging Rhett’s side so he would roll to his back, which after no thought at all, he did, his head turning to Link’s and their lips met softly, without anger and repercussions or fear or hurt, just the same loving warmth of every other kiss over the many years they’d shared.

“Please, Rhett. Don’t talk ok?” 

Their eyes met, Link shifting further up his body to kiss the tears on his cheeks and temples. 

“Don’t,” Link continued, his voice hitching, his words sliding into one another, but understandable,“don’t tell me you love me. Or you’re sorry. Or you will try. Or…” he blinked his own tears from his eyes, his hand twisting slowly on Rhett’s dick. “Or that you can’t, or that I’m gross, or….” he kissed his mouth again to shut himself up, moaning as Rhett’s arms closed around his body, holding him tightly against him, moving slowly in his hand.

“I won’t...tell you,” started Rhett, but he was cut off again by Link’s mouth on his. The mess from their tears and sorrow, mingling in the kiss but they didn’t care. They kissed, holding in place a long time, breathing occasionally through their mouths because they had both been crying too hard to breathe anymore through their noses. They stayed resting their lips against one another, all the unsaid thoughts flowing around them as Link’s hand continued moving over Rhett, until Link shifted further onto his body, tilting his head a little and then their kiss was passionate and primal and need and his hand was moving in ways Rhett had forgotten that he would do sometimes, and his orgasm slide between them almost unnoticed, aside from the breathless moans from Rhett and the encouraging sounds from Link, his come sticky between their bodies, and still their kiss continued on and on.

Rhett’s hands moved to Link’s hair, sweaty and sticking down on his forehead. “Baby,” he started as Link kissed along his neck.

“No, Rhett. Please. Please don’t talk now. Don’t ok?” Link asked quietly, resting his head against Rhett’s forehead as he shifted further up his body, “Please do this for me. Later. I don’t know. Now, just please?” 

He answered by kissing him everywhere he could reach, his hands caressing everywhere his mouth could not while Link lay against him, murmuring incoherently. Some words Rhett understood and pretended he did not. Words like love and please and Rhett and home and sorry.

“Rhett,” he whispered against him as he shifted further down his body again, kissing his mouth on the way past, along his neck and over his chest.

“Mmm?” Rhett asked, not wanting to say any words, or make any sounds to give away how he was feeling.

“I wanna be inside you.” 

“Link?” 

“I was….safe with people. I mean...we’ve always been...you, don’t have to. I mean,” his voice getting quieter as he went on.

“Link. Shhh.” Rhett held his head in his hands, looking into his eyes, still a little glassy, but now furtive and panicked. “I’m worried about you, Link. I’m worried about how drugged you are right now. How much pain you are in. It has nothing to do with whatever else you’ve done ok? I promise you.” 

“I ate your sandwich.” he said quietly.

“Yes, you did.” Rhett kissed him softly.

“Will you touch me?” 

His hand moved between them and closed around Link firmly, holding still and letting Link rock into his hand. His eyes closed as he memorised every inch of him over and over. His own breathing becoming more labored than Link’s, knowing that Link wanted him.

“You. You wanna fuck me, Link?” Rhett murmured a few minutes later, both feeling his cock jump in Rhett’s hand at the words.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Let me up, I’ll get everything we need.” 

“Bottom left drawer.” 

He leaned the long way back down and kissed Link’s forehead, pushing his damp hair out the way. He walked slowly across the room, worried about the state Link was in and pulled open the drawer Link had indicated, grabbing the condoms and lube and closed it softly. Standing slowly and watching Link’s eyes as they began to close and then shoot open. His hand moving to his erection, stroking slowly, before his hand stilled and his eyes slipped closed. Rhett walked slowly across the room and knelt beside the couch again, kissing Link’s forehead, but pushing his arms gently away as Link reached for him, murmuring he wanted him.

“Shhh, Link. You need to rest. Let me just do this for you ok? You can have me whenever you want later.”

He carefully moved Link’s hand away and lowered his mouth over him, sucking him firmly but slowly, drawing a long groan from the other man. His displaced hand moving to Rhett’s head, his hips moving slowly, gently thrusting.

“Rhett...you…” 

“Sshhhh, Link. No talking now. Just rest, Link. I will be here when you wake up.” 

“But, so nice, Rhett. It feels… So good.” 

Rhett hummed around him but didn't stop, his hand moving over his chest and stomach, his face, across his lips, stopping to gasp as Link licked and then sucked his fingers into his mouth. Mimicking and then showing Rhett how he wanted him to move on him. Moaning encouragement when Rhett copied him. Rhett loved when he'd do this. Both so focused on each other. He could feel Link's smile around his fingers and then his teeth grazing against them before he took Rhett's hand from his mouth and held it against his chest. 

Link's hand slipped from his head as he began falling asleep, but then he moaned again and grabbed Rhett's hair and pushed him down on him harder, thrusting a little faster into his mouth. 

“Fuck, Rhett.” 

“Mmmm. Come for me, Link.” 

“You sure, Rhett?” 

“Please, Link. Show me I made you feel nice.” 

Rhett closed his eyes and moved over him, sucking loudly, moaning, letting Link bring his hand to his mouth again, but this time, he kissed his fingers, resting them against his lips as he murmured to himself.

“I wanna fuck you, Rhett,” said Link, his voice much lower and slower in his sedated state. Rhett questioned again the ethics of what was going on here, but, he needed him. 

“I want you to, more than you’ll believe. But. You need to rest. Please, Link.” 

“Mmm.” his hand again on Rhett’s head, holding him firmly in place, just before the point of choking. “Ok?” 

“Mmmm.” Rhett closed his eyes, trying to relax as much as he could. Wanting so bad to make Link happy at least as he fell asleep now. He felt Link rocking his hips back, drawing his cock across his tongue, before he shifted forward, stopping just before he would likely gag. Again and again, faster, but never any deeper than that. Rhett’s hand dropping to his own cock, hard again, loving how Link was moving, looking after him and hopefully making himself feel good.

“Are you touching yourself, Rhett?” 

“Mmmm.” 

“You like sucking my dick like this?” 

“Mmm… yeah.” Rhett decided he sounded almost like he was drunk, and they had fucked plenty of times when they had been drunk.

“Are you hard?” 

“Mmmm.” 

His hips rocked forward again, slowly, this time, Rhett’s head held firmly in place, stopping again, just before it would become difficult for him. Pulling back just as slow.

“Oh, gosh.” Rhett murmured around him, the slower he moved, the sexier it became. Until he would eventually speed up and it would tip them both over.

“Your mouth feels so nice on me, Rhett. You….ah…..you are gonna make me come.” 

“Mmmm,” he found he was trying to push against Link’s hand’s, trying to take more of him as he moved back into his mouth slowly. Relaxing as much as he could, “Please,” 

“More?” 

“Mmmm.” 

And this time as he moved back in, just as slowly, he didn’t stop, Rhett struggling to stop his gag reflex, but he did anyway, Link held him in place, pulsing against his tongue. Rhett worked on relaxing and taking him further and managed a little more before he had to breathe and Link released his head.

He took a few breaths before waiting for Link’s hands to hold him again, guide him onto him, take what he wanted. But he again was careful and gentle, although insistent now.

“More, Link.” Rhett murmured, knowing that they both found it exciting.

“Not this time, Rhett. Nice. Make me come. Gentle….uh…..like this, ok? Nice.” 

He moaned his approval and sucked him as Link moved slowly, his hands still holding him firmly in place as his hips rocked. Rhett could taste him on his tongue and touched himself faster, knowing Link wasn’t far from his release now.

Link felt the room slowly closing in, the dark fighting with his need and then it was black and he was gone. Rhett's mouth on him no longer existed. Just darkness, like a blanket, keeping him warm and hidden from the pain and hurt. He exhaled slowly, his eyes flying open as his orgasm rolled over him, his hands clamoring for Rhett, his name murmured over and over, thrusting into the warmth of his mouth.

“I'm sorry, Rhett. So sorry.” he should never have told him who he was, or wanted him to accept him like that. They’d been some kind of happy.

And then he was sinking back down, feeling the other man climbing up beside him again, holding him gently, whispering his own apologies as he shuddered against him, breathing heavily for a time before he too was drifting down into the dark with him, holding his hand tightly so they didn't get lost.


End file.
